AnchordHeart Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Please continue to read and any/all responses are appreciated. I read somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate, but it is indifference. Last night i had a long talk with my best friend, who is also my exes friend. She told me some things I did not want to hear. She told he that he was so happy with the girl he left me for, that he has no feelings for me at all. He does not hate me/feel remorse for the things he did to me/or care about me at all. She said 'he wants you to get over him and be happy and find someone new. He'd wan't that for anybody.' My friend is a sociopath, and has convinced me that my ex displays characteristics of being a sociopath. My ex had said (to me, when we broke up) that he had 'faked' being in love with me for the last three months of the relationship. Now i'm convinced he faked many of the feelings he had for me. I'm just so depressed that the person I love more than anything will never think about me again; and by that i mean think about me with any real substance. He says he would be my friend if I wanted it, and I told her, as the dumper, he needs to come back to me... I don't want to be his friend. I wan't answers I will never, ever get. I don't understand how two 'sociopaths' became the most important people in the world to me. My friend told me how she has to fake emotion, and bluntly told me she doesnt care at all what i'm going through, but is listening to me about it because she knows she is supposed to. I literally always said 'I have my best friend, and my boyfriend, and that's all I need.' Well everything they ever felt for me, was a lie. It is a sick dark pill to swallow and i'm left here feeling all these emotions wile they walk through life as 'happy as they'll ever be.' It's okay because he 'loved me as much as he could.' in her words. I'n the end it's simply that he fell out of 'love' and didnt have the balls to break up with me, and when geting back together with his ex became an option, he didnt hesitate to completely cut me out of his life 100%. Leaving me confused, heartbroken, and shattered. Until the break-up happened I did NOT see it coming. This is typical, right loveshackers? Now, it's been 1.5 months post BU and he feels NOTHING twords me and he's falling in love with the girl that always seemed like a threat. The hope of that ever changing is gone, and without it, I don't know how to breathe anymore. Do I really think he's a sociopath? I dont know. I dont feel like I know him at all anymore... any responce at all will mean the world to me..
weallfalldown Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 i feel bad for ya....... look he aint worth your emotions You will meet someone in the future that will do you justice.... Your friend aint much of a friend to tell you all that to be honest.... and if your ex is a sociopath....meaning never goes out or socialises....then there's a good chance it won't work for him in any relationship..... Take it easy.............
TaraMaiden Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 If he's a sociopath, how can he possibly be happier with his new GF? Does SHE know he's a sociopath? How can he say he's happier with her, when emotions are just a big lie? And why do you hang around with someone who clearly doesn't give a sh.it about you? You need to get out of this sphere..... Please, please don't give me every excuse in the book about how it's not possible - because whether you believe you can - or whether you believe you can't - You're right.....
weallfalldown Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 sorry meant he has no respect within society, and for others etc.....
Author AnchordHeart Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 I honestly felt these people cared for me at one point, and now Its just like.. He broke my heart and doesnt care My friend uses me for everything and can't be there for me emotionally like i need her to be. and also, I'm the only one who gets ****ed over in the end because I actually have human decency. I just want him to give a ****, and for her to appreciate me, but those things will never happen, will they?
weallfalldown Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 well your decent which is rare............. Cut out all the bull**** from your life...ie, user friends etc....i'm just about to do some of that... and come....FFS keep your chin high and dry!......
big bear Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Get a new set of friends.. A BU is bad enough and you got people like these around you, who don't care and are insensitive enough to spit it in your face.. And yes you are right, opposite of love is indifference and not hate..
TaraMaiden Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I honestly felt these people cared for me at one point, and now Its just like.. He broke my heart and doesnt care Don't feel singled out. Chances fully are that it doesn't matter whose heart he breaks - he still won't care. My friend uses me for everything and can't be there for me emotionally like i need her to be. Frankly - this one's on you. Quit permitting yourself to be used!! stand in front of a mirror and practise this word, until it glibly falls off your tongue with consummate ease: "NO." and - Mean it. and also, I'm the only one who gets ****ed over in the end because I actually have human decency. This is a sad fact of life: What you see as 'human decency' they see as 'doormat material'. you have to find the fine dividing line, and make sure people don't cross it. Human Decency is one thing - but when you become a people pleaser, people no longer appreciate the pleasing - they look for your cooperation, because, 'hey, it's ok, she'll do it, she doesn't mind' - and they take you for granted. And you get resentful, but you do it anyway. Stop. Choose. Change. I just want him to give a ****, and for her to appreciate me, but those things will never happen, will they? No. So, you have to stop giving a f.u.c.k, and start appreciating YOURSELF more. 2
Author AnchordHeart Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 So, you have to stop giving a f.u.c.k, and start appreciating YOURSELF more. It was really hard accepting that at first. But I know your 100% correct. These people are no good for me and I no longer want to be part of their lives, especially where i'm only in it as a tool to be used. Post BU i felt that surely I was being treated this way because I was a bad person. That somehow it was all my fault... and it was. Because I let people walk all over me. Ive really stepped back and taken a good long look at the situation as a whole, and, having gained some real confidence and self-esteem, I feel like I should cut these people out of my life for my own benefit. If they are such 'sociopaths' i'm sure they wont mind anyway
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