96nole Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Yep, threw my wife out the front door. She fell on her hands and knees. Not my finest moment and not cool. Cleared it all up eventually but that was the end of our M. Honestly, your marriage was over before that. You just got to do what we all wanted to do.....literally throw the cheater out on their ass. Although I can see how those would be 15 very long hours.
GLDheart Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Yep, threw my wife out the front door... I get the mental image of you swinging her by the underwear strap and shooting her out the door like she came out of a cannon! I wonder if someday (shame aside), you'll actually think "hmmm. It was worth the fifteen hours..."
BetrayedH Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Guess I wish I could revel in it but the fact is that it made my wife officially the "victim" for about six months. And it wasn't cool to manhandle my wife regardless of what she did. Didn't mean for her to fall/get hurt but man, I've never been so angry. Quite a sequence of events (this was right after I pulled my 3-pc sectional sofa into the backyard and set it ablaze - you can take a guess what I found out about the couch that day) but it's all been written about here before and this isn't my thread. Just hoping the OP didn't lose his mind like I did.
Garfish Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Sorry, I had to stop reading your post part way through when you said that she ALREADY had cheated on you. As the proverb goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".
Author stillsearchin Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 My update... well i didnt do anything crazy and i didnt lose my mind, not yet anyways, lol.. I was really hoping to catch her in the act of meeting up with this other man....but surprisingly, it never happened...she was telling me the truth...this time, that is. I've been debating the thought of confronting her before i leave on monday, or waiting to catch her...or just saying nothing at all and moving my stuff out...we rent with both names on the lease, so it shouldn't be a big deal to leave here. each approach has its own pros n cons...but what i do know, is that im leaving town on monday no matter what, as this job is too good to pass up...plus it keeps me very busy and keeps my mind off of things...its kind of my way of therapy, except its much cheaper than seeing a shrink!! I figured that if i didnt get the opportunity to catch her in the act this weekend, then i would just confront her with my evidence b4 i go away and end it.... But it didnt workout that way. I was attempting to play it cool like i knew nothing...but i hit the bars with my buds, i got tanked and realized that im ready to tell her now!! I confronted her friday night....I didnt tell her what i knew at first...i just told her that we needed to talk, that i knew she was lying to me about something very serious, it was very hurtfull and that i just wanted the truth.... she kept denying that there was anything, but i relentlessly kept asking her and told her that i have solid evidence and just want to here it from her first....she started by giving me the truth of 2 seperate lies that she had told me within the last couple months, not cheating or relationship breakers, but still bad that she had to lie to me. I kept pressing on, and of course she swore on everything that there was nothing else....so finally i just said "so what can you tell me about your new friend trevor"... "you know, the guy that your boss is trying to set u up with"....the look on her face was absolutley priceless!! she was in complete shock that i knew!! She didnt even consider that i may have read her email and immediately assumed that i must know someone from her work and she started pressing me to tell her who i knew....i played along and told her it doesn't matter and i just want to hear the whole story.... So i heard it, with much more detail than the emails gave me!! To make it brief, her reasoning was that she did tell her boss about me, but also told her that we were not working out cuz of our mistrust issues and that we are on the brink of splitting up....wow news to me!!....she also said that she had no intention of meeting this guy, but did get caught up in the moment of chatting with him....and she was enjoying the attention!! I already know that she could say anything she wants, but its all Bull**** to me, cuz i can never believe her....she swears that she is ending it with him from her email on monday, and will be telling him about me....lol ya sure u will!! I got the whole begging and pleading charade all weekend long,...im not buying it anymore....i think that our time is done and that its time for me to move on!! Im not saying anything more to her...still want to contact the other man...just cuz i can...but it wont really solve anything at this point!! Thanks for reading and thanks for the advice so far....im packing up for my departure in the morning!! The word FREEDOM is sounding really good right now!! 1
GLDheart Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 ....I didnt tell her what i knew at first...i just told her that we needed to talk, that i knew she was lying to me... .... she kept denying that there was anything.. ....she started by giving me the truth of 2 seperate lies... I kept pressing on, and of course she swore on everything that there was nothing else....so finally i just said "so what can you tell me about your new friend trevor"... ...the look on her face was absolutley priceless!! ... ...So i heard it, with much more detail than the emails gave me!! Ah the trickle truth walk through. And still in the end she still admitted to just enough so that you stopped pressing for more. She was "feeling" you out just as much as you were feeling her out. 1
karnak Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Ah the trickle truth walk through. And still in the end she still admitted to just enough so that you stopped pressing for more. She was "feeling" you out just as much as you were feeling her out. One thing that has really saddened me concerning humans is at what extent our actions are so predictable. Almost as if , despite our intelligence and resources, we are nothing more than chimps or something. After 3 years reading stuff in Loveshack I can say that, just by reading the first post we can all say if a person is cheating, is hiding something, etc.
LonelyMommy Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I've been dating my GF for about 4 years (on & off)... We met at a very unstable time of our lives as we were both fresh out of long-term relationships. We each had 1 child from our previous partner, which only complicated things Out of all of this where do the children come in and how have they been affected? Myself I would have dropped her the minute I found out that she was cheating...you don't need that kind of unhealthy relationship affecting these poor children. As far as you are concerned my advice is to forget about trying to catch her in the act, that will only consume you...take some time to find yourself, find out who you are as a person, and what you want and need...and after all that is said and done spend some time with the people in your life that are the constants, the ones who will always be there for you no matter what. Best wishes and don't let her break you spirits...you will find the one that is meant for you when you least expect it!!
nofool4u Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 OP, you don't need to confront her, and you don't even need proof. She cheated once already and you shouldn't even have entertained getting married to her after that. If a cheater is exhibiting shady behavior, but you simply have no proof, don't worry about it. You don't need proof. Someone who has cheated that is remorseful and vows to not do it again, doesn't act like your fiance acts. Tell her you want to check something on her ring. Then once you have it in your hand, tell her, "I'm breaking off the engagement, you are not to be trusted". You can tell her why and what you have found, but really, she doesn't deserve an explanation. Get the ring back, and leave her in the dust.
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