robaday Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Im in an interesting, if not very bizarre situation, and Im not really sure how to handle it. My ex gf wants me back. Weve been seeing each other for a month again, and Ive taken her on a few dates. She is extremely jealous, even though she broke up with me. Every weekend asking if Im seeing anyone else, every weekend, asking if im sleeping with anyone. And yet...Ive found out shes on a dating website. Im not angry about it, cant be really, because were not "officially" back together, and Im on there too! But Im finding her expectations of me being exclusive rather laughable at this moment. Were both keeping our options open, difference with her is she doesnt mention the fact she is....... How do I play this? Ive not said anything so far, but next time shes jealous Im probably going to have to call her out on her own hypocracy.
Failboy Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Let me be honest here: The worst thing you could do is getting off the website and telling her that you are not seeing or sleeping with anyone and that you really want to be exclusive with her. Do NOT do this. As far as I can tell she is turned on by the possibility that you might be a challenge, a man with options who is desireable to other women who theoretically could be better looking than her. Don't waste that great opportunity. Asking her to be exclusive with you will only turn her off for 2 reasons: 1.) She might not be ready to take that step and 2.) It indirectly tells her that you have no better option than her. Make her fight for you. Even IF there is no competition... she doesn't need to know this.
Author robaday Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Thing is I couldnt care less shes on there, shes not really doing anything wrong. But the fact shes got these quite frankly ridiculous expectations of me, when shes logging in regularly is a complete turn off, at least Im straight with people i.e. ive told her i consider myself single and am keeping my options open yet shes maintained that she would never look at another man, and has no interest in an open relationship........why the hypocracy, why not be straight? Id be very happy with friends with benefits! but theres no way in hell she could handle me dating other people......
Eddie Edirol Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 The reason that she is asking you if you are seeing anyone is because she doesnt want to see that you successfully moved on while she hasnt, because she doesnt want to be alone. If shes alone and youre with someone, then she knows shes doing something wrong. She's on a dating website because she wants to do better than you, but she cant. If she does, she will dump you again. So next time she asks, tell her you ARE seeing someone, and let it piss her off. Let her think you dont need her, let her think you moved on and she is nothing to you again. You dont want to get into anything serious with her, because she WANTS to move on from you, and will at the first chance she gets.
Xestenz Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Oof. This brings back bad recent memories. I had met my ex girlfriend on POF, and it ended for once and for all when she went back on POF (after saying she couldn't be in a 'committed' relationship with me anymore because of lack of time but strung me along by calling and texting everyday for a month). I would ask your girl what her intentions are on the dating site. Maybe she had a profile active when you guys were broken up and simply hasn't deactivated it yet?
Author robaday Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 na mate - she logged in last week after id spent rather a large amount of money on a present for her.............think im gonna have to turn into a jerk now, been way too nice to her!
2sunny Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Thing is I couldnt care less shes on there, shes not really doing anything wrong. But the fact shes got these quite frankly ridiculous expectations of me, when shes logging in regularly is a complete turn off, at least Im straight with people i.e. ive told her i consider myself single and am keeping my options open yet shes maintained that she would never look at another man, and has no interest in an open relationship........why the hypocracy, why not be straight? Id be very happy with friends with benefits! but theres no way in hell she could handle me dating other people...... Well I guess that makes her a liar.
Jamesblame Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Sorry to hear. That can be tough. When my ex and I were originally talking about reconciliation, I told her that it would need exclusivity -- after all, you'll get butterflies from new people, not old. She didn't want that. So I didn't date her. I found my current girlfriend, and my ex came out of the woodwork trying to get back together with me. But it was too late. If I were in the OP's position I'd suggest just being friends until both of you were interested in committing to reconciliation.
Failboy Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 na mate - she logged in last week after id spent rather a large amount of money on a present for her.............think im gonna have to turn into a jerk now, been way too nice to her! That would be a very good start. You are her back-up guy right now. It would hurt her self-esteem deeply if even her back-up guy would get more action in bed than she does, especially with women hotter than her. That's why she is so interested. She will leave you with no remorse whatsoever once a guy she is more attracted to wants her. 1
Author robaday Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 Havent brought it up yet. Another argument today where she was asking what i was hiding (my social networks are all privatised). Im gonna have to bring it up and call her out on this bullsxxxt
Recommended Posts