Bobby231 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Hey guys and gals, I'm 21 and currently in a bit of situation and looking for advice from both men and women on what I should do. I've been talking (texting and internet messaging) a girl for just over a year now, we did sort of know eachother before this because I dated someone in her friends group but around a year ago we started talking just one to one. At first that's all it was but over the space of a few months I started to have feelings for her, as we were talking so often and if I didn't talk to her she'd message me asking why I hadn't been talking to her. So anyway about 4 months after I started talking to her I sent her a drunken text telling her I fancy her and she told me she felt the same but she couldn't just form a relationship over texting, (we hadnt met up at this point). As time progressed these drunken texts were always by her like she'd say things like "all I want is you" but then the next morning be like "sorry about that it was a mistake) at one point she even asked me out over one of these texts! We had our first date around a month ago and I was really nervous because we'd talked for so long and I was scared I'd disappoint her, anyway nothing happened on the first date, we talked about it later in the night and she said she had a lovely time and we've been texting daily since (we live quite far apart so meeting up is difficult at times. The main problem is she's going away on business for a year in just over a month and she said "i'm not going to ask you to wait for me because that would be harsh of me". What does she mean by this? That she's no longer interested? or that she does want me to wait but doesn't want to look bad by asking? Some additional information, we've never fallen out or had an argument, I treat her really nicely, like in general I'm not the nicest of people but she brings out the good guy in me and I like that! I'm just unsure if I'm wasting my time with her and she doesn't feel the same way I do and just doesn't know how to say it? She's told me she likes me but I'm unsure if it's enough to survive over a year of her being away? Should I wait for her or move on? I've told her I'd like to wait for her but I'm unsure if she'll want me when she's back? Thanks for reading, advice from male and female would both be welcome!
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 No, what she means is that this relationship has really not moved to any level - so she won't be surprised if you decide to quit at one point and go your way. She may well do the same, because there's no bond there, no commitment, no exclusivity, really. What she means is that, as things stand, an LDR has got no chance - because there's pretty much nothing there to build it on....
Author Bobby231 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 No, what she means is that this relationship has really not moved to any level - so she won't be surprised if you decide to quit at one point and go your way. She may well do the same, because there's no bond there, no commitment, no exclusivity, really. What she means is that, as things stand, an LDR has got no chance - because there's pretty much nothing there to build it on.... So unless things drastically change in the next month or so there isn't much hope?
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 a long-lasting relationship which holds promise of fidelity, companionship and intimacy - takes longer than a month to establish. so, yup - basically, I'd personally start detaching - unless she turns up on your doorstep clad in white, clutching a bouquet and a priest by the lapel - I'd consider it a 'fun while it lasted' relationship....
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