Narcofox Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 hey everyone! i'll be honest straight off the bat and say that when it comes to relationships and things like that, i'm completely clueless. that's why i'm coming here for some diagnosis and advice. my friends don't seem to know much and i don't have many people to ask, so hopefully ya'll can help me out the events that lead up to me meeting, kissing and eventually ending up being with my ex were so perfect and coincidental that naive little me thought "OMG, THIS IS FATE!" she was perfect in every single way, from her eyes to her personality to her body, literally the dream girl. we lived a half an hour away from each other, and because i didn't have a license at the time we could only meet up on weekends. but we were different to most couples our age, spending our time on couches making up worlds and talking sh*t, having rap battles, studying the constellations on starry skies and showering each other with types of affection we assumed other cultures used instead of going on dates or to the movies. she stuck with and fought for me when my parents found things from my past out and tried to break us up, and we had so many inside jokes people literally thought we had our own language. it was the best 4 months i've ever spent with anyone, and i've never been so close and intimate with anyone before or since then. things started taking a turn for the worse when i went overseas for 2 and a half weeks. during that time she met another guy, who i found out about shortly after coming back. she began lying to my face, ditching me with the worst excuses and growing more distant. i was obviously a wreck, and i was doing everything i knew how to "fix things". she broke up with me through text on christmas last year. at the time, things had been rough between her and her family and she had run away from home. her message explained how things were tough with her and her family, and how because she thought my family hated her she couldn't cope with coming down to see me and having to deal with all that. she said it wasn't me, but that it was so hard to be with me, and that when everything gets fixed she'd love to try again. i replied by saying that it was ok, that i'd miss her and if this was something she felt she needed to do then i would be fine with it and that i'd be waiting when she got back. we went NC for a while, but she would occasionally send me drunken messages telling me she missed me. at the beginning of this year, my best friends and i went on a road trip to where she was staying, one of those "friends go on a road trip so one of them can win the girl back" things you see on every teen movie. it was the first time i had seen her in about a month, and it was slightly awkward because i had this weird feeling that she wasn't "mine" anymore. we talked about everything that happened and she even cried, but because of all the lies she had been telling me before we broke up, i found it hard to believe half of the things she said. after that trip, we began talking again, although it was sporadically. she said that she wanted to take things slow and just ease back into it. i was down for whatever, just as long as we could be together again! after a month, i got a message from her saying that she had a boyfriend and that she was sorry for leading me on. i replied with "ahaha alright" and we lost contact. a couple weeks later she tried talking to me on facebook, but i shut down every attempt she made at a conversation and jokes, and eventually just left the conversation. a month later, as i was going through my old cell phone, i found messages that she had sent me on my old number (she didn't know i had bought a new phone) wishing me a happy birthday and asking why i never reply to her. i ended up replying, we made small talk, but i eventually stopped because i had begun to dislike her and was tired of her crap. a week later, she called me, apparently "slightly tipsy" and said that she needed to tell me something. when i asked what, she said that she loved me and that she didn't know why she broke up with me, how everything was perfect and how much she used to laugh and how happy she was when we were together. the next day she sent me a message asking what she said. apparently she had called a few people, but couldn't remember what she had said, due to the fact she had consumed and entire bottle of vodka, a 3L sack of wine, 5 mixed drinks and skulls of random peoples drinks. i knew that that much alcohol could kill a grown ass man, so i assumed she was lying. that's when i started to get hopeful. i started planning ways and scenarios for us to get back together, asking friends if they thought it could happen. then she asked if she could call me. i was expecting a confession, but it turned out to be the most pointless and disappointing phone call ever, just nothing but stupid small talk and catching up. another facebook chat attempt came a few weeks later, but i shut her down again. i was over her sh*t. about a month and a half later, she started talking to me on facebook again. i was in a weird mood and actually replied, and we ended up talking for 3 hours. i showed no interest in her whatsoever, but after we finished talking i felt great, and everything started coming back AGAIN. 2 days later, she sends me a message saying that she's out stargazing, and everytime she sees the big dipper ("our" constellation) she thinks of me. i didn't reply, but my hopes were soaring, and i spent many nights re-reading that entire 3 hour conversation, looking for hints that she might still be keen. we lost contact again, and that brings us to today. 3 days ago i was at a club when i got a message from her. because i had deleted her number i didn't know it was her and she expressed some disappointment in not being remembered, but after apologizing and some small talk, the conversation went like this: her: do you ever miss me? me: i think of you from time to time, why do you ask? her: idk, i miss you a fair bit, and every time i drink i always think to talk to you haha don't know why, but i wanted to know if you missed me, just wonders of the mind me: ahahaha why do you miss me? all i have is an afro and a scarf her: hahaha not gonna lie the hair is sick! but when i fell for you at the start it was your personality, you made me laugh 24/7 and it was great, only later i fell for the hair ahaha me: ahahahaha wtf, why are you telling me this? you have a boyfriend, aren't you happy and ****? her: haha no i'm very happy, idk what it is i just miss you i then asked her why she left me. it was something i'd always been wondering, but never had the chance to find out. she told me that our relationship was difficult other than her and me, that it was awkward when she thought my family hated her and the distance was hard, and when she met the guy she left me for he lived closer, his family loved her and it was just so much easier. she said she was scared when she started falling for me because she was used to being a slut and having guys get sick of her after a short period of time, but i was amazing and she didn't know what to do. she thinks she bad news for any relationship, and that she's sorry if she hurt me and that i'm on of the best people she's ever met. so i'm at a complete loss as to what is even going on or what to do. throughout this whole saga there hasn't been i day when i don't think about her, not a starry sky that doesn't remind me of her and not a night where i don't miss her. i have no idea what's going through her head or what i'm supposed to do about any of this. i want to let go of her, but when she keeps getting my hopes up and reminds me of her even more with things like this, it's nearly impossible. at the same time, i still love her, and would do anything to get her back. what do i do?!
flitzanu Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 she's playing you. "i'm used to being a slut and guys leaving me quickly". what?? is that the kind of chick you want? you went out of town for 2 weeks and she started sleeping with another guy. it's obvious you were way more into this girl than she was into you. me: ahahahaha wtf, why are you telling me this? you have a boyfriend, aren't you happy and ****? her: haha no i'm very happy, idk what it is i just miss you ^^^ she says she's happy. missing you doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't hint about anything "romantic". she's looking for you to stroke her ego, and you're doing it.
Author Narcofox Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 So you think I might just be getting my hopes up for no reason and looking for things that aren't there? Idk, I just don't get why she keeps talking to me and saying things like that
flitzanu Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 yes, you're getting your hopes up about things that aren't there. she sounds like an attention whore. she also doesn't sound like a girl that's going to be very monogamous, and not good for a relationship. if you want to constantly worry about a girl that's gonna bang some other dude the minute you turn your back, as she did after you were gone for only TWO WEEKS, then maybe she's the type you want. i'd suggest finding someone with a little more into the relationship.
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