Jamesblame Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I've just started dating a new woman after a long term relationship. The problem is that I'm not sure if my feelings toward the situation are "normal." I separated from my ex six months ago. She and I played back and forth for a while, but eventually I tired of her and moved on. She now wants me back (to address the notion of this new relationship being a rebound) I've been seeing a great woman for the past week. I've known her for about 2 weeks total. We originally planned on just being friends, however, we have great chemistry and things seem to be going well. Our dates are ridiculous affairs..even when we were just friends. We've hung out together the past 4 days, and sometimes those events have started out in the afternoon and ended up at dawn. I don't think that's normal. I feel strongly for her. We are very similar and get along well. But the cuddling and intimate discussions seem like one or both of us are overstepping our boundaries. We're both in our late twenties, and have previously been in long term relationships. I was drunk the other day and texting a friend. I told him that I found a woman I admired and LOVED. I'm really uncertain about this type of emotion. It seems crazy and weird. She feels similar it seems. We've talked about the potential of rebounding and how rare our connection is. (We've both been dating for awhile, but there hasn't been a strong connection) How should we be feeling? Also re the possibility of a rebound: Both of our exes want us back. My ex is insistent on having me, and is really devastated when I told her I was moving on with this woman. There's a similar situation for her. If we were rebounding, wouldn't we just go to our exes? I don't know..I'm confused by what feelings are normal for people nearing their thirties.
carhill Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 One option is to clearly put each other's exes in the past and give the current dynamic an honest go. Generally, friendships are built over long periods of time through shared interests, philosophies and developed trust and respect. After two weeks, IMO you and she have googly eyes. So, explore that and see where it goes. If a rebound, that. A friendship, that. A romance, that. Relationships are risks; there are no 'sure things'. Good luck. 1
amantis Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 You are thinking too much , just follow your heart . Do you love / like your girlfriend ? would you like to back to her ? or you want to see what happens with this new girl ? Its not that difficult , stop using the word rebound , thats for the fkedup people who dont know wtf they want in life .
fificremefarben Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I agree, I think you're overthinking things a little. I think you're looking at things in comparison to your previous relationships and trying to figure out what's "normal" now that you're in this stage of life. Don't worry about what's right and wrong, just go with it and a go with what feels right for you both.
Author Jamesblame Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 Good point all. I'm definitely an over-analyzer. I just don't want to freak this new woman out, haha. Because I like her. A lot.
CarrieT Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Good point all. I'm definitely an over-analyzer. I just don't want to freak this new woman out, haha. Because I like her. A lot. Read Philosoraptor's recent thread about going head-over-heals for a girl and having it end suddenly. It is great to have these new feelings. The trick is to see where these feelings exist after four seasons have transpired. You are in the honeymoon stage of learning about a new person; that is the time when the oxytocin levels are raging and you are riding on the euphoria and first blush of love. 12 or 14 months from now, when you two have gone through all the ups-and-downs of a full year, will you know if there is enough there for a life-long relationship... 1
Author Jamesblame Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 I would definitely agree with that.
proseandpassion Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I have had this happen to me so many times only to have the rug pulled out from under me. Be wary of people who want to get too intense too quickly. They usually are quite fickle. But if you are feeling it, go for it.
weallfalldown Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Good point all. I'm definitely an over-analyzer. I just don't want to freak this new woman out, haha. Because I like her. A lot. Yea my **** up too...over analyzing......too deep
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