dms1 Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I have been at my current job for just over a year now, and in a LDR with my boyfriend for about 4 years. He is underemployed and looking for a job near me. Recently he decided he would apply for a job at my company. I didn't say anything when he applied because he has no experience in the industry and did not seem like a good fit for the position. I found out today that my company set up an interview with him. We've discussed moving in together and I'm on board with that, but I just feel like working together and living together is too much togetherness, particularly since neither of us have friends or family close by. How do I tell him that I feel suffocated and panicked at the idea of him working at the same place without hurting his feelings? Am I being selfish because this might be a really good opportunity for him? Does working at the same company with a significant other work?
newmoon Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 hi. i have worked with my long-term boyfriend for over a year now. so, yes, it can work, especially if you're older/mature and even better, if you're in different departments within the same company. if you are equals - sharing the same work space, work goals, co-workers, etc. then it would be more problematic. i happen to be my bf's immediate supervisor, so there really isn't too much interaction between us during the day, which really helps at night. sometimes, when we get home, we haven't even spoken all day because we didn't run into each other. aside from how you work together, you also have to be aware of the coworkers and hw they will react to having a couple in the office; whether you like it or not there will be some haters and gossipers and it gets rather hard to deal with at times, especially since most of that dislike is aimed at the female in the partnership. do be supportive of your bf - he is obviously moving closer to be with you and take the relationship father, and the job (ifhe gets it) might not be permanent - as soon as he's settled he might find something else and move on from the company. anyway, my advice, if he does end up working with you, is to limit the time you spend together at work (take lunch/breaks solo) and such, so when you come home to each other at night there is stuff to share and talk about 1
FitChick Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 How would you feel if he worked somewhere else but lived with you? How would you feel if he worked at your company but lived alone or with roommates? If you don't like either scenario, you don't really want a serious relationship with this guy. The fact that you've been in a long distance relationship for FOUR YEARS is a clue...
TaraMaiden Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 This is what you do: You agree, that at work, there is no mention of a personal life, and anything that happens at home, stays at home and is off-limits for discussion at work, unless completely and totally unavoidable. You also agree that, at home, there is no mention of a professional life, and anything that happens at work, stays at work and is off-limits for discussion at home, unless completely and totally unavoidable. My cousin runs the company his father set up and has his wife, his younger brother and his fiancée working with/under him. This is their rule, and so far, in 15 accumulated years, they've adhered to it, and it's been very successful.
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