marilla Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I have posted part of this story before and i got some answers then but things changed from then on. Please read and advice me. I am scared about what i am going to do! I met a guy at work. He pursued me and i got feelings for him but dropped me to be with this other woman there that hit on him. After a while he came back trying to win me back. This same thing repeated 3 times. Every time i got really hurt but the 3rd time was the worse-i was so in so much pain i can't describe! Every time i could see where i had gone wrong. The first 2 times i was not very decided which was hurting him whereas she would hit on him so i could see why he rejected me. The 3rd time i took too long to decide to try again which again was hurting him as he admitted to having feelings as well. So i could and can see my mistakes. During the last month we started to get closer again. He dropped that other woman and all the others interested in him. However we were moving really slow and the contracts finished without exchanging phone numbers. He isolated me the last day at work so we could talk but the boss called me and i was too embarrassed not to go to her office and we missed that chance. I guessed he would get my number from a common friend there and i parted happily with him. It has been 5 weeks and i have heard nothing from him. I am still hurt over what happened. But i still have feelings for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Should i just forget him? Should i try and contact him? i don't think going into a relationship now is a good idea, but being friends-do you think this is a bad idea? i never really got to know him and i feel bad throwing away all these feelings without being really sure! I wish i could hear his version and of what happened and what he has to say-as he came across very badly but i would really like to know why he did some things and if we could save this if he has feelings and cares. What do you think? should i make contact? should we try this as friends again? how can one let someone back when they hurt them so ?
BellaMarieOC Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Stop making up excuses for him. He's not interested, it's that simple. If he was he would be serious about pursuing you, but he's not. Why would you want to be with someone that potentially uses you as a back up plan? Don't try and force a friendship where there is nothing. Move on.
Author marilla Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 thanks for your answer. I forgot to mention that this man is really shy! Even at times i knew he had feelings he had a problem coming forward. He is shy! Also the last day i saw him at work he tried isolating me to talk which to me meant that he had finally made up his mind! However i did the mistake of going immediately up to my boss when she called for me and i ruined that chance to talk. But i did not think much of that as a problem since i thought he would call!!!!!!
Author marilla Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Thanks again for your answers. I know he looks bad but he isn't. In fact all he does is bouncing. It is like it never goes to the next level with anyone. As for not getting my number i think it was my fault. I could have told my boss to wait but i rushed to go speak to her. I kind of lost it at the time. So i may have also given the impression i didn't care much. He actually confided in a common friend there and used her to isolate me so we could talk. Why go to such extremes and tell a friend if he meant nothing? And like i said things have been awkward between us even towards the end as a result of all that had happened. So that could also be a reason he is not calling or having a hard time doing so. I am sorry. I am providing more detail just so you have all the picture. I am really grateful to you for helping me as this has for some months now putting a lot of strain on me! Thank you!
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