Wishy-washiness

[tigressA]

I'm pretty much done--again--with this guy I've been seeing.

 

Last night we were talking about when we'd see each other again--he has off tomorrow but has to work the rest of the week, and I have plenty of leave time accrued. I got the sense he really did want to see me since he said so, and he didn't mention other plans. I said he could either come in the evening after I'm done with work like he usually does, or I could leave early. He said he didn't want me to miss work, and then mentioned seeing me later this week.

 

I told him I didn't get it--he doesn't have plans tomorrow, he says he wants to see me, but he wants to wait until later this week even though he has to work. Clue #1 I'm no longer a priority.

 

Clue #2: "It's my day off and I like to sit around, be lazy..."

 

Clue #3: "I don't like having to take the train, walking to and from the station, it gets old...you're not getting old , just the travel. I already miss you. I should have a car later this week, I totally wouldn't mind driving to you..." To be fair he had mentioned this once before, so it wasn't out of the blue. But the fact that he also rejected my offer to go see him is telling.

 

And Clue #1 that I likely never really was a priority, and that he's a liar: I reactivated and revamped my OKC profile last night. Without having to visit his profile I found out he's still on the site and he was online within the last day. He had even had at least one new picture added (as his default). Doesn't make his claim that he isn't seeing anyone else or looking around even remotely solid.

 

Ugh. It hasn't been that long at all, but I was really starting to like him. I was finally starting to really open up, loosen up, let my guard down. And this happens.

[mickleb]

It sounds like you've invested a little too much in him, already.

 

I don't find the things he's saying to be especially worrisome but why are you pressuring the guy? If he wants to see you, he'll do so. If wants his day off to himself, let him have it!

 

You're both back on the website, so what's the problem? Did you tell him you were going back on? (If so, he probably thought 'She won't care if I do too' - if not, he's doing nothing different to you.)

 

You haven't agreed to be exclusive, so you're in that awkward stage. You just have to live through it. You can force that conversation, but whilst you're not sure about him, it's highly unwise to do so. In addition, guys tend to prefer things to be easy-going at the start. If you come off as too high-maintenance, you could ruin a potentially good thing.

 

If you enjoy your time with him, continue it. If you don't end it. Either way, it's too early to take any of it too seriously.

[danm]

God I hate reading these things.

 

Seems like he is keeping his options open with the whole OKC photo thing and being online checking other offers that might be coming in. We can speculate, but not prove. For the sake of now, and especially his profile, I'd say he is not committing to dating only you just yet...

 

It's such a crap situation. When someone is really into someone, willing to ramp up the one to one dating thing, why can't they focus on just eachother for that moment? Why do people have to serial date?

 

Call me old fashioned, but if I like someone, I only have eyes for them. No matter how early in the dating game. If I want someone, I make them the only thing I am chasing and I try to make that work. I want a girl to make it obvious she is interested. Mind games are fun when you're young. As you grow up, it's a waste of time.

 

Perhaps it doesn't work in this day and age and multi dating is more efficient/practical with the amount of bad dates you get.

 

I wouldn't worry too much. You haven't both committed anything or made promises, so you are both entitled to keep looking. That's if he is even looking!

 

On the other hand, he could just want his day off. He may have had it planned long before he met you, and at least he has said a day later in the week he wants to see you.

 

Give him that credit!

 

Good Luck!

[tigressA]

He hasn't said a particular day he wants to see me; what he said was "Let's play it by ear." And he hadn't been planning this day off. He doesn't really 'plan' anything. He's really spontaneous. Until he said "Let's wait until later this week" there was every impression that he wanted to see me as soon as possible, and that would've been today.

 

Also, I thought we were on the same page. He had asked me several times if I was interested in/seeing anyone else and I said no; he said he wasn't either, but now I find out he's been online the whole time, which at the very least means he's looking for others. I did tell him I had been off the site for awhile.

[ThaWholigan]

Beating around the bush, beating around the bush

 

 

It's funny, because on some level, I've been accused of being "wishy-washy" . This guy takes the biscuit.

 

It's not so much his reasons for doing so, it's the fact that those reasons are unclear. I wouldn't jump the gun yet butt I suggest you do exactly what he's doing (well.......except beating around the bush - you know I hate beating around the bush )

[tigressA]

Beating around the bush, beating around the bush

 

 

It's funny, because on some level, I've been accused of being "wishy-washy" . This guy takes the biscuit.

 

It's not so much his reasons for doing so, it's the fact that those reasons are unclear. I wouldn't jump the gun yet butt I suggest you do exactly what he's doing (well.......except beating around the bush - you know I hate beating around the bush )

 

'Takes the biscuit'. I love British slang. And you are so right!

 

I am doing what he's doing--went back online. Updated my profile, edited the text, added a bunch of new pictures.

[mickleb]

And Clue #1 that I likely never really was a priority, and that he's a liar: I reactivated and revamped my OKC profile last night. Without having to visit his profile I found out he's still on the site and he was online within the last day. He had even had at least one new picture added (as his default). Doesn't make his claim that he isn't seeing anyone else or looking around even remotely solid.

 

Also, I thought we were on the same page. He had asked me several times if I was interested in/seeing anyone else and I said no; he said he wasn't either, but now I find out he's been online the whole time, which at the very least means he's looking for others. I did tell him I had been off the site for awhile.

 

Well, hon, it looks like you're both on the same page with the 'I'm not looking for anyone else' thing! You told him you hadn't been on the site for a while and are calling him a liar for going on it, yet you 'reactivated and revamped' your profile last night!

 

You know what I get from you two? Two people who like each other a lot, who claim to have tons of self-confidence, but are actually as vulnerable as two teenagers, starting out! I say this with affection but I really think all this playing about is a result of insecurity.

 

If I were you, I'd get on with my life. If he asks to see you later in the week, decide if it's worth the effort or not. If you do see him again, bring up the website stuff and tell him you're confused. Talk about his spontaneity if it bothers you. Sometimes the things we find attractive about a person become a bit of a bind when we want the dynamic to change. At the moment, though, you're just feeding your own paranoia. That won't help you to do the right thing.

[tigressA]

Well, hon, it looks like you're both on the same page with the 'I'm not looking for anyone else' thing! You told him you hadn't been on the site for a while and are calling him a liar for going on it, yet you 'reactivated and revamped' your profile last night!

 

You know what I get from you two? Two people who like each other a lot, who claim to have tons of self-confidence, but are actually as vulnerable as two teenagers, starting out! I say this with affection but I really think all this playing about is a result of insecurity.

 

If I were you, I'd get on with my life. If he asks to see you later in the week, decide if it's worth the effort or not. If you do see him again, bring up the website stuff and tell him you're confused. Talk about his spontaneity if it bothers you. Sometimes the things we find attractive about a person become a bit of a bind when we want the dynamic to change. At the moment, though, you're just feeding your own paranoia. That won't help you to do the right thing.

 

I wasn't the one who was saying all the while that I wasn't interested in or looking for anyone else and interrogating him about his interest while still being active on the website. I had been inactive until last night. We're on the same page as of last night. Before then, we were not. That is my point.

 

His spontaneity doesn't bother me. The fact that he was suddenly so indecisive and then altogether dismissive about seeing me today when before he was saying he really wanted to see me, he missed me, etc, is what bothers me.

 

I took my profile down again just now...I do agree that staying back on the site is playing games and I really don't want to be like that. It doesn't help either, since I'm not interested in anyone else anyway. If I decide to see him again I'll tell him what I saw and ask him about it.

[mickleb]

If I decide to see him again I'll tell him what I saw and ask him about it.

 

Marvellous plan, my honey.

[Ninjainpajamas]

He hasn't said a particular day he wants to see me; what he said was "Let's play it by ear." And he hadn't been planning this day off. He doesn't really 'plan' anything. He's really spontaneous. Until he said "Let's wait until later this week" there was every impression that he wanted to see me as soon as possible, and that would've been today.

 

Also, I thought we were on the same page. He had asked me several times if I was interested in/seeing anyone else and I said no; he said he wasn't either, but now I find out he's been online the whole time, which at the very least means he's looking for others. I did tell him I had been off the site for awhile.

 

I'm the spontaneous type as well and really don't like making plans to do anything unless i have to.

 

However with that being said, If I'm really interested in someone I'm going to go above and beyond just seeing them on a regulated basis. I don't know how much time you've been spending together, but If it's been a lot then maybe he needs a break. If you haven't and he hasn't been going out of his way to see you then I'd definitely say there's a lack of interest on his part...it's minimal or just enough interest to keep going forward...plus who doesn't like intimacy, affection, sex, and all that jazz.

 

If he's asking If you're interested in anyone else/seeing then he's just simply covering the bases...meaning "I hope I'm the only one sleeping with her and she's not going to go off on some date randomly and ending up hooking up with some random guy"...plus it adds a level of security for guys like "I can kinda kick back and not really worry because she's interested in me so I know I'm alright".

 

As far as pressing that to the next level like..."Hey...I'm really interested with you and would like to remain exclusive, I'm done with my OLD profile...I want to see the potential of this relationship" Is not something many guys will spell out for you all the time but they'll be somewhere along those lines because they don't want to lose you or they'll assume you're exclusively with them or try and put on the pressure to make sure you don't develop or have any interest for anyone else.

 

So it sounds like he's still looking for other options...If I remember correctly you guys were both not entirely amazingly interested in each other so I'm not sure where this was really going to go plus hasn't it been a while by now that you've been dating, is it normal to drag on the "see where it goes" process at this point in time...is there something just emotionally/physically not clicking that's keeping that off the table?

[Kamille]

T, I don't have all the details of your story with this guy. For instance, I don't know how long you guys have been dating.

 

I like Mickleb's advice for one specific reason: From what I've gathered of your dating experiences here on LS, you're someone who's very intense very fast when it comes to dating. Whenever the guys you date do not match your level of intensity, you seem to get angry at them, as if the guy is somehow betraying you.

 

The way I see it, you have the right to dislike what you found out. You have the right to tell yourself you two aren't on the same page. You have the right to be disappointed. But that's as far as it goes. Otherwise, I worry that you'd only be entering another relationship based on a power struggle: you constantly questioning his level of commitment. You trying to gain power by playing games of "who's right and who's wrong". Don't do this to yourself. Take a step back and realize that your well-being doesn't depend on this guy being completely smitten and whatever amount of time you two have been seeing each other.

[tigressA]

The last time we saw each other was Thursday; before that we hadn't seen each other in more than a week, but we both had had other plans taking up our time, I didn't mind at all. He stays in regular contact though, it's very rare that I go a day without hearing something from him. We really haven't been spending much time together at all, which is why I thought he'd want to see me today regardless of who made the trip--I had offered to go see him because I have leave time accrued from work but he said he didn't want me to do that. Turns out I'm sick today anyway...

 

He does go out of his way to see me, in a sense. He doesn't have a car so he takes the train and walks to/from the station to meet me. He's made most of the effort when it comes to meeting. I've only gone to see him twice, but I would do it more if I could.

 

I think you're right though, Ninja. He clearly isn't all that interested if he's still active on the site, and what he's telling me is just BS to keep me around in case he doesn't find anyone 'better'...

 

Anyway, I've got other stuff to do, and if we talk anytime soon I'll discuss this with him.

Edited August 6, 2012 by tigressA

[ThaWholigan]

I'm the spontaneous type as well and really don't like making plans to do anything unless i have to.

 

However with that being said, If I'm really interested in someone I'm going to go above and beyond just seeing them on a regulated basis. I don't know how much time you've been spending together, but If it's been a lot then maybe he needs a break. If you haven't and he hasn't been going out of his way to see you then I'd definitely say there's a lack of interest on his part...it's minimal or just enough interest to keep going forward...plus who doesn't like intimacy, affection, sex, and all that jazz.

 

If he's asking If you're interested in anyone else/seeing then he's just simply covering the bases...meaning "I hope I'm the only one sleeping with her and she's not going to go off on some date randomly and ending up hooking up with some random guy"...plus it adds a level of security for guys like "I can kinda kick back and not really worry because she's interested in me so I know I'm alright".

 

As far as pressing that to the next level like..."Hey...I'm really interested with you and would like to remain exclusive, I'm done with my OLD profile...I want to see the potential of this relationship" Is not something many guys will spell out for you all the time but they'll be somewhere along those lines because they don't want to lose you or they'll assume you're exclusively with them or try and put on the pressure to make sure you don't develop or have any interest for anyone else.

 

So it sounds like he's still looking for other options...If I remember correctly you guys were both not entirely amazingly interested in each other so I'm not sure where this was really going to go plus hasn't it been a while by now that you've been dating, is it normal to drag on the "see where it goes" process at this point in time...is there something just emotionally/physically not clicking that's keeping that off the table?

Agreed. The disconnect with this guy (and Kamille pointed it out with the intensity) is that this guy's intention is fuzzy, and TigressA doesn't (to use my favorite phrase again) beat around the bush. In order to match her intensity, a guy would have to lay his cards on the table to an extent, rather than flit around her periodically trying to draw her out. This won't work. You're either all in or all out.

 

From what I've gathered of your dating experiences here on LS, you're someone who's very intense very fast when it comes to dating. Whenever the guys you date do not match your level of intensity, you seem to get angry at them, as if the guy is somehow betraying you.

 

^^^This seems right on the money.

 

Reminds me of a girl I used to like .....

 

Moral of the Story - Don't beat around the bush

[Kamille]

Correction:

 

Take a step back and realize that your well-being doesn't depend on this guy being completely smitten in whatever amount of time you two have been seeing each other.

 

....

[tigressA]

Kam, I do realize my well-being doesn't depend at all on this. I'm far from devastated. But I am a little more bummed out by my discovery than I typically would be at this juncture, since I started to really let my guard down.

 

I let him know last night I was annoyed. Then he threw some more words around probably expecting me to be okay with them. I'm letting it lie, and I'll talk with him when the time comes. I'll let him know I was disappointed having seen him still active on the site when he told me he wasn't interested in anyone else.

 

This guy is way too vague for me. He could be interested but the way he's going about it isn't forward enough. I prefer someone who's more explicit, like myself. I'll talk with him and see what results, but if I get more fuzziness, I'm out.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Kam, I do realize my well-being doesn't depend at all on this. I'm far from devastated. But I am a little more bummed out by my discovery than I typically would be at this juncture, since I started to really let my guard down.

 

I let him know last night I was annoyed. Then he threw some more words around probably expecting me to be okay with them. I'm letting it lie, and I'll talk with him when the time comes. I'll let him know I was disappointed having seen him still active on the site when he told me he wasn't interested in anyone else.

 

This guy is way too vague for me. He could be interested but the way he's going about it isn't forward enough. I prefer someone who's more explicit, like myself. I'll talk with him and see what results, but if I get more fuzziness, I'm out.

 

You know tigreesA, I always get the feeling from you that I want to ask "What do you want? and what are you looking for?"...I don't really feel a lot of consistency with you, I get this all over the place type picture of you. I get the impression that you say what you want and then you end up with someone or something entirely different then you're kind of disappointed in it because that person isn't conforming into what your expectations are...even when in the beginning you weren't really even seeing that quality in them...like If you can kind of change and mold that person into what you want If you just give them some time and a chance to shift into the right gears.

 

I also wonder how good of a communicator are you? Do you open up first or do you expect the man to make all the moves?

 

Do you feel like it's the mans responsibility to define the relationship or set the pace as to not aggravate the process but If it doesn't work you give it a little nudge and then become frustrated?

 

I get the feeling that you really want to let your guard down with someone, and be in a relationship and you're just looking from someone with something you feel like you have potential in and then you start peeling the layers on your own...not because you're actually feeling closer to this person and they're opening you up but because that's what you want to happen, you have this idea of sharing yourself and creating this bond that you at times seem desperate to have.

 

That's just my snap analysis, I don't even know why I'm saying it right now or because of something you said in the past or another post or what-not (I have a horrible memory...I forget posts)...but that's just the feeling I get from you in this moment so I thought I'd throw it out there just because. It's like I sense an internal struggle within you and that's what came to me.

[Eternal Sunshine]

T - I think that you have invested too quickly here.

 

Since my break-up, I have been much slower and more cautious to invest. I am at nearly the same point in the dating game with someone I met on OKC. We both still have active profiles but it doesn't bother me at all. I don't even check... As for seeing each other, we mainly didn't have much time to hang out due to my schedule. Not sure if he would slow it down IF my schedule was wide open..He does call me every day though.

 

Anyway, if you are starting to feel hurt by his actions, it means that you are more invested than he is. It doesn't matter if it's too early, if it's justified etc. Emotions just are. Tough thing is that you can't really "talk yourself" out of feeling this way.

 

My advice is to either MAJORLY pull back or leave. Only you know if you are capable of lowering expectations here.

[Kamille]

You know tigreesA, I always get the feeling from you that I want to ask "What do you want? and what are you looking for?"...I don't really feel a lot of consistency with you, I get this all over the place type picture of you. I get the impression that you say what you want and then you end up with someone or something entirely different then you're kind of disappointed in it because that person isn't conforming into what your expectations are...even when in the beginning you weren't really even seeing that quality in them...like If you can kind of change and mold that person into what you want If you just give them some time and a chance to shift into the right gears.

 

I also wonder how good of a communicator are you? Do you open up first or do you expect the man to make all the moves?

 

Do you feel like it's the mans responsibility to define the relationship or set the pace as to not aggravate the process but If it doesn't work you give it a little nudge and then become frustrated?

 

I get the feeling that you really want to let your guard down with someone, and be in a relationship and you're just looking from someone with something you feel like you have potential in and then you start peeling the layers on your own...not because you're actually feeling closer to this person and they're opening you up but because that's what you want to happen, you have this idea of sharing yourself and creating this bond that you at times seem desperate to have.

 

That's just my snap analysis, I don't even know why I'm saying it right now or because of something you said in the past or another post or what-not (I have a horrible memory...I forget posts)...but that's just the feeling I get from you in this moment so I thought I'd throw it out there just because. It's like I sense an internal struggle within you and that's what came to me.

 

Very well put.

 

Tigress, there is little doubt that this guy, for some reason, lied about not looking for anyone else. I wonder why this kind of situation seems to crop up with some regularity in your dating experiences. I don't think his lie should be dismissed and I don't think that's what anyone here is saying.

 

What we all seem to be paying attention to is that there seems to be a pattern in your dating experiences. It's likely linked to the guys you choose, how you communicate who you are and what you need, how quickly you require devotion and how you react when they don't conform to your expectations.

 

This can go one of two ways: either 1. you learn to communicate your needs better, without expecting your dates to meet every single one of them (as if that would prove they love you) or 2. you learn to not take it as a personal affront when idiots behave like idiots. Instead of involving yourself in a tug of war with the idiots, you're better off learning to cut your losses and walk away.

 

Likely, the winning recipe is a combination of both 1 and 2.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What we all seem to be paying attention to is that there seems to be a pattern in your dating experiences. It's likely linked to the guys you choose, how you communicate who you are and what you need, how quickly you require devotion and how you react when they don't conform to your expectations.

 

.

 

If you go back and read all of your posts about this guy and the development of things between you … I think you'll see that you doing a lot of the flipping and flopping about what you want to do, how you feel he fits in with that and your expectations of him.

 

You do seem to "require devotion," as Kamille puts it. But I don't see you as being ready to be devoted yourself …

 

I don't know about this guy, at all. I do know that you have been mostly ambivalent about him. This is not in defense of him, but from your posts I gather that you visit, updated and re-activated your OKC account because of "impressions" you've been getting from him. Could it be possible that he is responding to you in a similar fashion?

[tigressA]

You know tigreesA, I always get the feeling from you that I want to ask "What do you want? and what are you looking for?"...I don't really feel a lot of consistency with you, I get this all over the place type picture of you. I get the impression that you say what you want and then you end up with someone or something entirely different then you're kind of disappointed in it because that person isn't conforming into what your expectations are...even when in the beginning you weren't really even seeing that quality in them...like If you can kind of change and mold that person into what you want If you just give them some time and a chance to shift into the right gears.

 

I also wonder how good of a communicator are you? Do you open up first or do you expect the man to make all the moves?

 

Do you feel like it's the mans responsibility to define the relationship or set the pace as to not aggravate the process but If it doesn't work you give it a little nudge and then become frustrated?

 

I get the feeling that you really want to let your guard down with someone, and be in a relationship and you're just looking from someone with something you feel like you have potential in and then you start peeling the layers on your own...not because you're actually feeling closer to this person and they're opening you up but because that's what you want to happen, you have this idea of sharing yourself and creating this bond that you at times seem desperate to have.

 

That's just my snap analysis, I don't even know why I'm saying it right now or because of something you said in the past or another post or what-not (I have a horrible memory...I forget posts)...but that's just the feeling I get from you in this moment so I thought I'd throw it out there just because. It's like I sense an internal struggle within you and that's what came to me.

 

Good questions. You may have a point about wanting someone to fit a mold. I recognize I have ended up with quite a few people who weren't really my ideal, as I do tend to rush into things and realize only later it wasn't the best idea.

 

I've been working a lot on my communication style. I used to be really fearful of expressing my true feelings and needs, but I've become much better at that. With this guy, I say and do things without even thinking of them beforehand. There's very little calculation, compared to past interactions. There's just...something...that makes me like that with him. It's not just because he's there and I've decided it's time for me to start opening up. It's only after that I think, "Wow, I really said that to him. And it went over really well." I was always honest and open with him about how I felt--even when I didn't like him/was ambivalent.

 

Usually I open up first...I don't much care who does it first. I just like to know that we're on the same page, and if we're not that's when I get frustrated at times. I get frustrated when there appears to be a contradiction between actions and words, like in this situation when he's said he isn't interested in/dating anyone else but then is still actively looking on the dating site.

[ThaWholigan]

You know tigreesA, I always get the feeling from you that I want to ask "What do you want? and what are you looking for?"...I don't really feel a lot of consistency with you, I get this all over the place type picture of you. I get the impression that you say what you want and then you end up with someone or something entirely different then you're kind of disappointed in it because that person isn't conforming into what your expectations are...even when in the beginning you weren't really even seeing that quality in them...like If you can kind of change and mold that person into what you want If you just give them some time and a chance to shift into the right gears.

 

I also wonder how good of a communicator are you? Do you open up first or do you expect the man to make all the moves?

 

Do you feel like it's the mans responsibility to define the relationship or set the pace as to not aggravate the process but If it doesn't work you give it a little nudge and then become frustrated?

 

I get the feeling that you really want to let your guard down with someone, and be in a relationship and you're just looking from someone with something you feel like you have potential in and then you start peeling the layers on your own...not because you're actually feeling closer to this person and they're opening you up but because that's what you want to happen, you have this idea of sharing yourself and creating this bond that you at times seem desperate to have.

 

That's just my snap analysis, I don't even know why I'm saying it right now or because of something you said in the past or another post or what-not (I have a horrible memory...I forget posts)...but that's just the feeling I get from you in this moment so I thought I'd throw it out there just because. It's like I sense an internal struggle within you and that's what came to me.

Venus in Pisces

 

Exalted - always in search of the elusive romantic dream. In the 12th house, the house of secrets, and the subconscious. Square the Moon - the celestial body that represents the inner emotional life of the individual in question.

 

Perhaps it's the Aries in her that protects this side of her personality , by eliminating all doubt and getting straight to the meat and potatoes. Finding that balance in a man must be tempered - likely by finding that balance within oneself. Eliminating the doubt is one thing, but being comfortable navigating it would be far more liberating in the long run. Then one is able to keep an even-keel during the fuzziness that is the courting process, when one is keeping cards close to the chest.

[tigressA]

Very well put.

 

Tigress, there is little doubt that this guy, for some reason, lied about not looking for anyone else. I wonder why this kind of situation seems to crop up with some regularity in your dating experiences. I don't think his lie should be dismissed and I don't think that's what anyone here is saying.

 

What we all seem to be paying attention to is that there seems to be a pattern in your dating experiences. It's likely linked to the guys you choose, how you communicate who you are and what you need, how quickly you require devotion and how you react when they don't conform to your expectations.

 

This can go one of two ways: either 1. you learn to communicate your needs better, without expecting your dates to meet every single one of them (as if that would prove they love you) or 2. you learn to not take it as a personal affront when idiots behave like idiots. Instead of involving yourself in a tug of war with the idiots, you're better off learning to cut your losses and walk away.

 

Likely, the winning recipe is a combination of both 1 and 2.

 

I don't think what I'm doing is 'requiring devotion'. I see it as 'requiring consistency'. Words and actions lining up. I have been open with him this whole time. I've let him know when I've been bothered by something, I've answered his questions honestly, and the last time he reiterated he wasn't seeing anyone/looking around, I even told him I didn't want him seeing anyone else. All I have expected is the same I have given. I haven't gotten it, clearly.

 

And yes, I'm bothered by the fact that he lied. I know I have a right to be, I know no one's contesting that. What I'm contesting is that I'm somehow reacting in a tug-of-war way. At first I was planning on just staying online but I took my profile down this morning, because I realized I don't want to be like that and it doesn't help matters. I recognized I was doing something passive-aggressive out of spite, and I stopped it. Keep in mind I didn't go back online just to see if he was still there. That was not even on my mind. I took him at his word, I trusted him--I assumed he wasn't online because of what he said to me. I'm going to continue to be honest and let him know I'm disappointed by his actions, and see what he has to say for himself. I don't see how that is an overreaction or tug of war in any sense.

Edited August 6, 2012 by tigressA

[Kamille]

No, you're right. You aren't over-reacting in this specific instance. And I'm glad to hear you're finding it easier to open up. That's a skill that only keeps growing.

 

Being able to open up is not the same as "trusting" the other person. Being able to open up shows that you trust your own judgement. For that, congrats T!

[tigressA]

No, you're right. You aren't over-reacting in this specific instance. And I'm glad to hear you're finding it easier to open up. That's a skill that only keeps growing.

 

Being able to open up is not the same as "trusting" the other person. Being able to open up shows that you trust your own judgement. For that, congrats T!

 

Thanks, Kam.

 

And congrats to Mme. Chaucer for giving me my 500th Like

[FitChick]

Thawholigan, don't you think Tigress needs a Leo? They are very loyal when they make a commitment and strong enough to deal with Aries. Or perhaps a Pisces with Leo or Aries somewhere in the chart.