Floored Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I'm getting ready hit up the beach and meet up with my roommate that I haven't seen since he was deployed last year, and she texted me: "I just wanted to let you know that I was in town this weekend. I didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other. But I didn't want you to find out from someone else I was home" I guess the romantic in me was hoping for NC to be broken with something along the lines of "sorry, what a mistake, can I build a time machine and make it better". The pragmatic in me was expecting something less than that but at least the same vein. Two weeks of nothing, and she just says she doesn't want to see me? Der? Isn't that why we're not dating anymore? I wish I could say something to her, but I know anything I say will either be hurtful, desperate or just douchebaggy. Silence speaks volumes, but sometimes it doesn't speak enough. I'm moving on, the NC has helped, but now I'm sliding back toward wanting to fix it. First thing she's texted me after 2 weeks NC. Obviously she didn't ask anything so no response is expected, but of course I'm a whirlwind of emotions that I wasn't prepared for. I was less hurt by the fact that she was in town and she didn't know that I knew, as I knew she was here for a wedding that she told me about back in May (and you women say we can't listen ). Is she saying it to spite me? Does some small part of her actually care to save face with me?
Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 you may think its nothing but every text is a test. i wouldnt be surprised if you hear more. just ignore it or be short with her. "thanks", etc. you know the drill. they always come back 1
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 like you said....silence speaks volumes....and is the most hurtfull..as we all know...if you want to spite the text keep quiet 1
Author Floored Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Blargh, now I know it really feels like to be back at square one. Did she text me because she was with someone and didn't want to be found out? Does she miss me and just want to reopen that channel? Stupid, stupid thoughts. The beach was perfect, though strange. About half the people I was with were at the wedding she was at, probably why she tried to break the news before I saw them. They all kept mum about it, can't tell if they were being good friends or if they don't think I could handle it. Maybe I can't. Breakups are just exhausting. Haven't texted her though. Hopefully that will help pass these feelings faster.
It's Just Me Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I'm getting ready hit up the beach and meet up with my roommate that I haven't seen since he was deployed last year, and she texted me: "I just wanted to let you know that I was in town this weekend. I didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other. But I didn't want you to find out from someone else I was home" I guess the romantic in me was hoping for NC to be broken with something along the lines of "sorry, what a mistake, can I build a time machine and make it better". The pragmatic in me was expecting something less than that but at least the same vein. Two weeks of nothing, and she just says she doesn't want to see me? Der? Isn't that why we're not dating anymore? I wish I could say something to her, but I know anything I say will either be hurtful, desperate or just douchebaggy. Silence speaks volumes, but sometimes it doesn't speak enough. I'm moving on, the NC has helped, but now I'm sliding back toward wanting to fix it. First thing she's texted me after 2 weeks NC. Obviously she didn't ask anything so no response is expected, but of course I'm a whirlwind of emotions that I wasn't prepared for. I was less hurt by the fact that she was in town and she didn't know that I knew, as I knew she was here for a wedding that she told me about back in May (and you women say we can't listen ). Is she saying it to spite me? Does some small part of her actually care to save face with me? Ignore. She may be your ex, but she has some class, and doesn't want you to be blindsided by some inadvertent comment from a random person who has no clue. She may think that you didn't remember that she'd be in town. Do not read anything into this (I know, it hurts). 1
Samilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I'm getting ready hit up the beach and meet up with my roommate that I haven't seen since he was deployed last year, and she texted me: "I just wanted to let you know that I was in town this weekend. I didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other. But I didn't want you to find out from someone else I was home" I guess the romantic in me was hoping for NC to be broken with something along the lines of "sorry, what a mistake, can I build a time machine and make it better". The pragmatic in me was expecting something less than that but at least the same vein. Two weeks of nothing, and she just says she doesn't want to see me? Der? Isn't that why we're not dating anymore? I wish I could say something to her, but I know anything I say will either be hurtful, desperate or just douchebaggy. Silence speaks volumes, but sometimes it doesn't speak enough. I'm moving on, the NC has helped, but now I'm sliding back toward wanting to fix it. First thing she's texted me after 2 weeks NC. Obviously she didn't ask anything so no response is expected, but of course I'm a whirlwind of emotions that I wasn't prepared for. I was less hurt by the fact that she was in town and she didn't know that I knew, as I knew she was here for a wedding that she told me about back in May (and you women say we can't listen ). Is she saying it to spite me? Does some small part of her actually care to save face with me? I don't think that this text is meant to spite you. She didn't want you to learn of her presence in town from someone else and she isn't ready to see you, it's not disrespectful, it's rather honest. I know your feelings are hurt, it's not the message that you were hoping to get, but she could have not thought about you at all and just come to town without informing you of it, she didn't. You got to give her credit on that one. 1
Author Floored Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 I appreciate the broad range of responses. I'm just not going to read into that one. However, now that I've ignored her all day, she sends me one tonight, "Do you want to talk?" Still silence from me, not because I'm trying to spite her or make it seem like I'm fine, but I just don't know what to really say and I don't want to get into it. I've seen this concept of breadcrumbs mentioned a lot, but never seem to find what they mean. Are they a good thing? Is that what's going on here?
Canadian731 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Breadcrumbs means that she is trying to lead you in the direction se wants you to go in. Basically if she is leading you with "breadcrumbs" she is trying to get you to make the big move and say you miss her and want her back by dropping small hints. Don't buy into it I would keep up your NC just tell her you don't think you are quite ready to have a serious talk about your relationship just yet.
ihateslowjams Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I appreciate the broad range of responses. I'm just not going to read into that one. However, now that I've ignored her all day, she sends me one tonight, "Do you want to talk?" Still silence from me, not because I'm trying to spite her or make it seem like I'm fine, but I just don't know what to really say and I don't want to get into it. I've seen this concept of breadcrumbs mentioned a lot, but never seem to find what they mean. Are they a good thing? Is that what's going on here? breadcrumbs are bad from what ive read. If my ex texted me what yours have, I would have done the same thing you did and not replied. I think she's beginning to feel guilty and want to relieve some of it by talking to you.
Emilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I've seen this concept of breadcrumbs mentioned a lot, but never seem to find what they mean. Are they a good thing? Is that what's going on here? I've looked at your other thread about your break up and I don't think she is the kind of girl who is worth getting into a twist about. She wanted to be single, she said she wasn't in love. Fine. She is single now. We all reap what we sow 1
Ruby65 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Sounds like breadcrumbs!! She's just looking to have her ego stroked. After 2 weeks NC she's probably starting to miss talking to someone who loves her and thinks everything she says and does is important.... maybe some other guy rejected her and she's trying to feel better about herself..... in any case unless she's begging for another chance I would ignore.
Author Floored Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 I've looked at your other thread about your break up and I don't think she is the kind of girl who is worth getting into a twist about. She wanted to be single, she said she wasn't in love. Fine. She is single now. We all reap what we sow Ack, that first post. It's almost embarrassing to reread that, I'm sorry you had to; too many sleepless nights stacked together and I needed to dump it out before I cracked. Seems like I found LS just in time. So breadcrumbs are bad... I don't know why that's a bummer, but it is. And I think CaliGuy's NC guide says the same thing Ruby, about not returning contact unless she's begging. It's a real shame she's too proud of a person; even if she did get to a point where she really wanted me back and realized the huge (IMO) mistake she made, she'd never say so, and would rather suffer alone. Might do her some good I suppose, strength from suffering and all that, like I've been doing the last month. Thanks again everyone. That was a tough round to navigate, even though I knew the right thing to do, it's tough when your judgement clouds up with emotions.
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