Ani9000 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I post a few days ago that I feel like its taking me a long time to move on. However, now I realize I am still holding on to hope that my ex will want me back. I really need help, I don't know how to stop hoping and holding onto him. I did everything I was supposed to I started exercising, I hang out with friends to fill the void and I packed all his stuff up and put it in a closet (he has yet to move his stuff out of our apartment and its been a month). Please tell me how to let go and stop hoping. Thanks
Canadian731 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 You need to have a friend contact him to get his stuff, until this happens you can't cut the ties completely and will always have that thought about the day he comes to pick up his stuff maybe you will talk and work things out. Break ups are one of the hardest things in life and whether his or your feelings changed doesn't really matter at this point. You are probably still idealizing him and your relationship but if it was as good as you think it is you wouldn't be posting on here. You will find someone whom you love and who loves you more then you could ever possibly imagine, on that day you will laugh about this whole situation. I wish you the best of luck and feel free to message me if you need any advice or help. 1
lovehurts5 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 It has been 3 months after my BU and I still find myself hoping too... You tell yourself not to but its something that cant be helped. You def. Arnt alone and if someone has the answer to giving up hope I'd love to hear it as well
lovejoy41 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I understand your pain. For me getting out of the house temporarily helps it. It's just going to take time. Unless you want to let go, you won't be able to move on. It's hard I know cause I'm going through it myself. My ex friend contacted me yesterday with just a simple "what's up" text. I didnt respond though and it hurt. I found that as long as I kept hoping it may still be a chance, that I could not stop crying and thinking about him but I got tired of that. Think about it... he's moved on so you have to do the same. if it's meant to be, it'll be but until then if you truly want to move on you got to let go. I know everyone is not religious but... I do more praying and reading the bible than I ever have right now. Release him in your heart,Let go and move on. Take it day by day and you will succeed.
Author Ani9000 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 I am not idealizing him...I mean we both had our faults and I didn't like who I was in our relationship and I never want it to be the same. And I have tried to get him to pick it up and he gave me a day he would come get his stuff and that day came and went.
Author Ani9000 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 I understand your pain. For me getting out of the house temporarily helps it. It's just going to take time. Unless you want to let go, you won't be able to move on. It's hard I know cause I'm going through it myself. My ex friend contacted me yesterday with just a simple "what's up" text. I didnt respond though and it hurt. I found that as long as I kept hoping it may still be a chance, that I could not stop crying and thinking about him but I got tired of that. Think about it... he's moved on so you have to do the same. if it's meant to be, it'll be but until then if you truly want to move on you got to let go. I know everyone is not religious but... I do more praying and reading the bible than I ever have right now. Release him in your heart,Let go and move on. Take it day by day and you will succeed. Thanks for your understanding...and I know have to let go and move on but idk how to force myself to let go. What more can I do? i already blocked him from facebook, don't talk to him and I packed up all his stuff.
lovejoy41 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) I was in a FWB thing for 5 years and I had feelings for him and him for me but he told me that he wants to be with a woman who will let him see other women while they are together. Basically wants to have his cake and eat it too, so I was the one who chose not to agree to that and he has went on. This woman he dated has now been living with him 1 1/2, and met his parents in June. That hurt me so bad but I know I deserve better. PPL on here say that its not his fault cause we were only FWB but thats crap. It still hurt me. I didnt deserve that. You cannot force yourself to move on. You have to be willing to let go and move on. Once you're tired of that pain that's in your heart, you will want to let go and move on. There is no instruction book on this unfortunately, it's just something we all have to do. You believe that you deserve better don't you? Blocking him on FB, packing his things, and NC are a great start. A wounded heart takes time to heal. Give yourself a chance to have real love with the person that's meant for you. Whether it's him or someone else, it starts with you letting go. It's a process dear. One that I'm getting through myself, but it's never going to happen if you don't make the decision to try first. Edited August 5, 2012 by lovejoy41
jmjacobs31 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I am almost 4 months into my break up and still struggling. I started to do better and now I feel like I took a few steps back. One thing i did was I made a list of all the things i didnt like about him and I read it when ever I am sad. It really helps. I also am seeing a therapist.
Car10e Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I'm in a similar boat. Everyone keeps telling me to let go, and I tell them its not that easy. I wish it were, but its not. I think deep down there will always be hope.
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