Sweett Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 So it's been a year since that nasty breakup. Caught him cheating, tried to work on it but 3 weeks after I caught him with her he breaks up with me saying he needs space because he didn't know if he wanted a serious relationship only to find out that now he's engaged to the person I caught him cheating with. I know this wasn't right but I cannot stand coming home to an empty house, not having someone to eat with or to take me out. Sometimes I thought that having him there would be better than being alone which is why I didn't leave him after he cheated but I guess it happened anyway. They also say its better to be alone than with the wrong person. Sometimes I get angry and upset just because I'm alone. Hearing the married people at my job talk about there husbands and kids depress me. Dating is so hard as it seems most guys I meet have issues as well. If they're single either they have to many kids, have emotional baggage themselves, are just looking for sex, or just aren't taking care of themselves physically. I am a beautiful person and I feel there are no men out there for me!! I'm 33 and don't want to be alone forever but it seems all the good ones are taken. Anyone else feel this way? 2
Appleness Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Hey Sweett, You realize we have some people posting here in their 50's right? I think 33 is young by comparison... Why do you not like being alone? If you know that you are a good, beautiful person then it's just a matter of having some patience til you find that person that you want. He won't be perfect but he'll be perfect for you. As far as kids, or emotional baggage, well to me that's just all minor details. If you were given the choice of a man who had a small child finding you now or you had to wait 5 more years for another man with no child, which would you rather have? Or the emotional baggage part, did you know that for some men, if they've never been hurt then they never face their mistakes and learn? They stay immature forever. Having someone cheat on you is painful. It doesn't matter that they are engaged. Would you rather that he dumped her and proposed to you? Would you even be able to trust him anymore? I know I wouldn't. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and truly see yourself as beautiful. Get massages, get a new haircut, buy some new cute outfits join a gym. Age is just a number when you look spectacular. There is nothing that feels as good as walking into the room and feeling people look at you in admiration and know that there no one to hold you back should you find that special someone at that moment. He's getting married now which means he's laughing first. Wouldn't you rather have the last laugh?
Author Sweett Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Hey Sweett, You realize we have some people posting here in their 50's right? I think 33 is young by comparison... Why do you not like being alone? If you know that you are a good, beautiful person then it's just a matter of having some patience til you find that person that you want. He won't be perfect but he'll be perfect for you. As far as kids, or emotional baggage, well to me that's just all minor details. If you were given the choice of a man who had a small child finding you now or you had to wait 5 more years for another man with no child, which would you rather have? Or the emotional baggage part, did you know that for some men, if they've never been hurt then they never face their mistakes and learn? They stay immature forever. Having someone cheat on you is painful. It doesn't matter that they are engaged. Would you rather that he dumped her and proposed to you? Would you even be able to trust him anymore? I know I wouldn't. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and truly see yourself as beautiful. Get massages, get a new haircut, buy some new cute outfits join a gym. Age is just a number when you look spectacular. There is nothing that feels as good as walking into the room and feeling people look at you in admiration and know that there no one to hold you back should you find that special someone at that moment. He's getting married now which means he's laughing first. Wouldn't you rather have the last laugh? I understand I'm young I just thought the person that left with me was gonna be with me for a long time. I put way to much trust in him I guess because I knew of him since high school and we talked about marriage as well. And as for meeting a guy with a small child I dont have a problem with that but what I have a problem with is a guy with multiple children by different women..sorry but I dont want that !!! One child is fine. I really dont know what my probelm is with being alone. some days im cool with it and other days I just wish someone was there then I start to think about him. My situation sucks so bad becasue the girl he left me for knew he was with me and he tried to make me think they were just friends. You are right I would like to have the last laugh...hopefully I will. But between him and her both I think karma will get them because it was just wrong!!! I wouldnt dare chase after a man whos already involved no matter what!
lynntlb78 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 So it's been a year since that nasty breakup only to find out that now he's engaged to the person I caught him cheating with. I know this wasn't right but I cannot stand coming home to an empty house, not having someone to eat with or to take me out. Sometimes I thought that having him there would be better than being alone which is why I didn't leave him after he cheated but I guess it happened anyway. They also say its better to be alone than with the wrong person. Sometimes I get angry and upset just because I'm alone. Hearing the married people at my job talk about there husbands and kids depress me. Dating is so hard as it seems most guys I meet have issues as well. If they're single either they have to many kids, have emotional baggage themselves, are just looking for sex, or just aren't taking care of themselves physically. I am a beautiful person and I feel there are no men out there for me!! I'm 33 and don't want to be alone forever but it seems all the good ones are taken. Anyone else feel this way? I hear what you are saying. Folks tell me that I am young, but its all relative to your surroundings and what you want for your life. All of my friends are married with kids and you start to feel like you just don't belong. The hardest part in dating at this age (30's) for me is that I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for and so when I was left by my boyfriend last year I felt like he took with him the next 40 years of my life. Sounds dramatic but when you feel like you found "the one" it is very, very hard to move along. I don't believe that you feel that with everyone that you date and truly feel that you are lucky if you find that once maybe twice in a lifetime. I also know that I had never wanted children, yet with this man I envisioned a family. So I felt a tremendous loss when he left. The worst part, like you, is that he left because he "wasn't ready" after having gone through a divorce (your "baggage dude"), yet was ready with someone else. Hurts like nothing else. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 So it's been a year since that nasty breakup. Caught him cheating, tried to work on it but 3 weeks after I caught him with her he breaks up with me saying he needs space because he didn't know if he wanted a serious relationship only to find out that now he's engaged to the person I caught him cheating with. I know this wasn't right but I cannot stand coming home to an empty house, not having someone to eat with or to take me out. Sometimes I thought that having him there would be better than being alone which is why I didn't leave him after he cheated but I guess it happened anyway. They also say its better to be alone than with the wrong person. Sometimes I get angry and upset just because I'm alone. Hearing the married people at my job talk about there husbands and kids depress me. Dating is so hard as it seems most guys I meet have issues as well. If they're single either they have to many kids, have emotional baggage themselves, are just looking for sex, or just aren't taking care of themselves physically. I am a beautiful person and I feel there are no men out there for me!! I'm 33 and don't want to be alone forever but it seems all the good ones are taken. Anyone else feel this way? As a man almost in the 30's I have to agree that MOST women in this age range (25-35) who are single are mostly nutcases, heavily damaged, have kids, or are incapable of taking part in a relationship emotionally. So i find myself in a weird limbo where I have to either find a younger woman, which has issues of its own, or hold out until everyone breaks up in their 30s and a good one gets dropped off somewhere. All in all, the single life is looking much better when you see the options around. 1
Mike_d Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 As a man almost in the 30's I have to agree that MOST women in this age range (25-35) who are single are mostly nutcases, heavily damaged, have kids, or are incapable of taking part in a relationship emotionally. LOL!!!! wait till you hit your 50's.... holy crap, the stories I could tell you, one little ditty to hold you over: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/275816-well-lucky-me-here-i-am-2.html#post3409446
NoMoreJerks Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 So it's been a year since that nasty breakup. Caught him cheating, tried to work on it but 3 weeks after I caught him with her he breaks up with me saying he needs space because he didn't know if he wanted a serious relationship only to find out that now he's engaged to the person I caught him cheating with. I know this wasn't right but I cannot stand coming home to an empty house, not having someone to eat with or to take me out. Sometimes I thought that having him there would be better than being alone which is why I didn't leave him after he cheated but I guess it happened anyway. They also say its better to be alone than with the wrong person. Sometimes I get angry and upset just because I'm alone. Hearing the married people at my job talk about there husbands and kids depress me. Dating is so hard as it seems most guys I meet have issues as well. If they're single either they have to many kids, have emotional baggage themselves, are just looking for sex, or just aren't taking care of themselves physically. I am a beautiful person and I feel there are no men out there for me!! I'm 33 and don't want to be alone forever but it seems all the good ones are taken. Anyone else feel this way? Yup, I sure feel this way a lot of the time. But I'm not actively looking at this point, and while I do feel lonely someetimes, I've found ways to fill my day and evenings and not feel the loneliness as much. Hang out with friends, or if you're not in that frame of mind yet, don't (I'm not, since I just recently got dumped -- I prefer to spend time on my own because I don't need to put in any effort to control my emotions when I'm by myself). Do something you enjoy doing, especially in the evenings. Rent some movies and watch them. Play a game. Read a book. I've started watching a movie every night, before going to sleep. It takes my mind off things, and makes me not feel the loneliness as much.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 As a man almost in the 30's I have to agree that MOST women in this age range (25-35) who are single are mostly nutcases, heavily damaged, have kids, or are incapable of taking part in a relationship emotionally. Are you serious? There can be many reasons as to why someone's single between 25 and 35. They may be temporarily single after a break-up, or single because they just haven't met someone yet -- maybe too little time on their hands to socialize, etc. I remember that in the past 2 years, I did not have much time to go out with friends and socialize, so my chances of meeting someone to have a relationship with were pretty much non-existent.
Tree_Salmon Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Are you serious? There can be many reasons as to why someone's single between 25 and 35. They may be temporarily single after a break-up, or single because they just haven't met someone yet -- maybe too little time on their hands to socialize, etc. I remember that in the past 2 years, I did not have much time to go out with friends and socialize, so my chances of meeting someone to have a relationship with were pretty much non-existent. I'm assuming you're a girl. MOST girls, there are exceptions to the rule, in this age group have proven to be un-datable. This is from my experiences in a big city.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I'm assuming you're a girl. MOST girls, there are exceptions to the rule, in this age group have proven to be un-datable. This is from my experiences in a big city. Wow, way to generalize and stereotype. Based on your personal experiences.... how representative of the broader population are your experiences exactly?
lynntlb78 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 LOL!!!! wait till you hit your 50's.... holy crap, the stories I could tell you, one little ditty to hold you over: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/275816-well-lucky-me-here-i-am-2.html#post3409446 Oh, great! Instill sheer panic in us 30 somethings with nothing on the horizon. lol. Sorry for your rough go.
CopingGal Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 So it's been a year since that nasty breakup. Caught him cheating, tried to work on it but 3 weeks after I caught him with her he breaks up with me saying he needs space because he didn't know if he wanted a serious relationship only to find out that now he's engaged to the person I caught him cheating with. I know this wasn't right but I cannot stand coming home to an empty house, not having someone to eat with or to take me out. Sometimes I thought that having him there would be better than being alone which is why I didn't leave him after he cheated but I guess it happened anyway. They also say its better to be alone than with the wrong person. Sometimes I get angry and upset just because I'm alone. Hearing the married people at my job talk about there husbands and kids depress me. Dating is so hard as it seems most guys I meet have issues as well. If they're single either they have to many kids, have emotional baggage themselves, are just looking for sex, or just aren't taking care of themselves physically. I am a beautiful person and I feel there are no men out there for me!! I'm 33 and don't want to be alone forever but it seems all the good ones are taken. Anyone else feel this way? Hi. Yes, oh my gosh, some times I feel like that. Most of the men I've dated had issues, but this last one was the absolute worse!! So I started reading self-help books and help myself. If there are normal men out there, they never come by my way, but even still I have hope. The last boyfriend was just disgusting. Being alone has to be better than being with a grade A *********. I left him over a year ago and haven't dated since while he has dated woman after woman after woman. I don't see myself as being ready any time soon. Try to concentrate on yourself to make your life better. Try to fill your life with great things and take care of you.
lukas Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 If there are normal men out there, they never come by my way, but even still I have hope. I feel the same way about women. I think though they are out there, they just tend to be taken most of the time and it's really hard to find them as a result since someone else is happy with them. That said have hope and in time you may just well meet one.
Million.to.1 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 My God, this thread is EXACTLY how i feel. 33, single, nothing on the horizon, and all my friends are married & having babies. I always thought i would be doing that too by now, so it kinda makes me feel like a failure. Like i'm not good enough for that side of life. My last 2 relationships were train-wrecks too. I just don't think I'm cut out for it. looking ahead to a life alone, with no family is so depressing. I only have a few years left if i want to have kids. It's kinda overwhelming actually.
Mint Sauce Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 and another 33 year old with nothing on the horizon and surrounded by friends who have their families already...Fortunately, as a guy, the biological clock is more kind. For the early-30s girls/women here, I think you should be looking at men between 35 and 40. They may have a child already, but they know what they want, and may be more inclined to have a 2nd kid with you on a shorter timescale. We really need a dating tool on this forum
Tree_Salmon Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Wow, way to generalize and stereotype. Based on your personal experiences.... how representative of the broader population are your experiences exactly? What I meant was you're not out in the market for women so you don't really know. Unless you are out there for women. Ask most of the guys here about that range and see what MOST tell you. Generally, this is true.
CopingGal Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 My God, this thread is EXACTLY how i feel. 33, single, nothing on the horizon, and all my friends are married & having babies. I always thought i would be doing that too by now, so it kinda makes me feel like a failure. Like i'm not good enough for that side of life. My last 2 relationships were train-wrecks too. I just don't think I'm cut out for it. looking ahead to a life alone, with no family is so depressing. I only have a few years left if i want to have kids. It's kinda overwhelming actually. Hi. You have lots of years left if you consider other options: being a foster parent, adoption, etc. So try not to be down about it. I'm in my 40's with no kids. But one day I hope to be a foster parent.
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