2muchlove Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I'm not one to celebrate my own birthday. It's never been a big deal to me. But I'm 25 now. And all I keep thinking is how I want her to text me so I can ignore her. That would be the best gift she could give me at this point. It will soon be a month NC and I'm really hurting today. Right now I'm in a city I used to reside, with none of my old friends here anymore. Just me staying at my fathers for the weekend. I've been away from the apartment we shared up north for what will be two weeks this sunday and it's helped astronomically. However I realize I will soon be back for the remainder of this month until the lease is up. And I know being there makes me crazy. Too many memories. I can't even walk around our city without any memories being brought back up. All of my friends there aren't really friends since I only made time for my relationship with the ex. So I'm forced more into solitude with only my thoughts to keep me company. I'm currently trying to create a new path for myself since I have no real direction in life after the death of my relationship. But I can't even begin to do that when she's the only thing on my mind. Anyways... My mind is tattered and heart still weak. I don't know what it's going to take to get over this. I'm starting to think time isn't even going to cut it. 1
AnchordHeart Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Happy birthday!!!! I'm sorry, this made me giggle a little bit. Go out and have dinner with your family or something <3 it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now :3 Go party! Have fun <3 Or just sit and watch your favorite movie
weallfalldown Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Happy bday...and sorry to hear your suffering.......i've just broke contact after 2 months......not a good idea, i was hoping she was gona text me or something so i could ignore it too....but nah.....hard nosed mare haha ...
Author 2muchlove Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Haha thanks Chi Town. You always know just what to say.
SeventhFloor Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Oops, I mean, day of birth! DUDE. I totally feel the same way. "I wish she would contact me so I could ignore the crap out of her! That will show her!" ...haha, it's so dumb. It's you feeling like you need an ego boost, that is all! Don't have such a self-defeatist attitude! The reason you're feeling this way, is probably because now it's your birthday, and you're older, and you're having a "quarter-life crisis." Things are changing everywhere. All of these realizations are weighing heavily on you and causing you to feel weak, shattered, and broken. WHO SAID IT WAS YOUR JOB TO TAKE ON THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD?! Go ahead dude, be lost so you can find yourself. Be lonely so it can be THAT much better when you're not anymore. Your heart was never weak. Brett Dennen said it best when he said, "I may be weary, but I am not weak I can sing a song of suffering Maybe, a song unsung is dancing on the tip of your tongue!"
Author 2muchlove Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Oops, I mean, day of birth! DUDE. I totally feel the same way. "I wish she would contact me so I could ignore the crap out of her! That will show her!" ...haha, it's so dumb. It's you feeling like you need an ego boost, that is all! Don't have such a self-defeatist attitude! The reason you're feeling this way, is probably because now it's your birthday, and you're older, and you're having a "quarter-life crisis." Things are changing everywhere. All of these realizations are weighing heavily on you and causing you to feel weak, shattered, and broken. WHO SAID IT WAS YOUR JOB TO TAKE ON THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD?! Go ahead dude, be lost so you can find yourself. Be lonely so it can be THAT much better when you're not anymore. Your heart was never weak. Brett Dennen said it best when he said, "I may be weary, but I am not weak I can sing a song of suffering Maybe, a song unsung is dancing on the tip of your tongue!" Thanks for sharing, that's a cool song. I just went for a walk along the beach to clear my head and came to the conclusion I keep bringing myself to over and over again with little follow through. Just be a man. I'm just trying to suck it up and move on the best I can. I'm not really concerned about finding love again. I just don't want to treat my next love poorly because of what my ex did.
Dblock10 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 ive been there, i moved city. never looked back happy birthday! ha funny how my ex was never there on my birthday. just got a card. cheers love
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