Saw ex and his ex before me is his gf now, with baby. Cried my soul out feel ****ty.

[zanzi]

Ew yeuch. I was doing pretty well getting over things, I was in NC and was hoping ex might start to miss me. He didn't miss me, because today as I went into the supermarket I saw him, made the mistake of speaking to him when I went back outside. It went like this...

 

me: " says hello type greeting."

ex: hi this is my baby. (baby, points.)

me: ...are you back with your ex now..? ( thinks to self: living in MY town where I go to uni, the town I moved to to escape the intense pain of my past. Your ruining that for me???)

ex: yes.

me: do you love her?

ex: Yeah I do again...

me: so its been a month and you already don't love me anymore?

ex: you wouldn't want me back anyway.

me: why do you think I am crying? Ive wanted you back every day.

ex: well now I'm back with my ex before you.

me: ah so you used me as a rebound.

ex: (uncaringly) sorry?

me: says some things about loving him, not wanting to live without him ect.

me: please come back. (yes I know, even as I said it I was disgusted by myself...)

ex: no.

exes new gf with baby appears: Your embarrassing yourself.

me: Im not embarressed.

newgf: grow up.

me: (thinks: you grow up. Your the one with a baby and a lames bf with no job. ffft. Have him bitch.)

 

So they both are agro and ex walks past me like I don't exist.

 

HE TREATED ME EXACTLY THE SAME WAY HE USED TO TREAT HER.

 

me: Goes back to art school, cries.

 

wtf. So right. Its been a month? last time I saw him days after breakup he was saying that his ex (now gf) had changed and that she was the mother of his child blah. Turns out I was a HUGE REBOUND like a package holiday away from his family while he wandered aimlessly, only to go back to his TRUE GF.

 

Because a month is pretty quick to get over someone you "loved."

 

so I figure he never loved me, trashes me. He wants me to hate him but Im not going to give him the satisfaction.

 

Why am I always a rebound, do I have that much self hate to myself???

 

Feel yuck tired, cried for an hour. why the hell is my "love" life so tragic? Before I was into this guy who had a gf for ages...

 

I get so lonely.

 

:/ But I'd rather be lonely then with him. His new gf is feral. So is he. feral as hell.