SpiralOut Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 This doesn't happen to me too often, but it happened to me last night and it really upset me so I want to know what the rest of you would have done. There is a group I go to once a week. I only just started a couple months ago. Someone was there last night who obviously knew everyone there; he just never showed up to any of the other nights I had gone. I noticed as soon as I arrived that he noticed me. He was talking to someone else. I wasn't particularly interested in chatting, as I am quiet and introverted like that and just wanted the chit-chat to stop so we could get started with the exercises. When he had a moment he started talking to me. Asked if I had gone there before. I said yes I had. I didn't bother to elaborate, didn't really see the need for it. I looked away from him. I noticed he was still looking at me, sitting not a foot away from me, non-blinking, just plain staring at me! So I looked over to see if he was waiting to catch my eye, to say something else to me or something, but he didn't say anything else. So I was like WTF, and looked away again. I was really annoyed by this point because he was STILL STARING at me and wasn't saying anything! Finally he asked another question. It was a weird one, that made me feel even more annoyed. I can't even explain why it bothered me so much. I'm usually pretty good at getting along with people even though I am quiet. Something about this guy just bothered me and made me not feel like talking to him. Maybe he thought I was being rude for not trying harder with the conversation but I just could not STAND him. Anyway it didn't last very long, and other people started talking to him so that was good. But I still felt angry. Has anyone ever stared at you even though you aren't talking, and it's obvious that you have finished your sentence? Most people at that point should know to glance away at least, right? But he didn't. It was so creepy! The only other time something like that used to happen was with my ex-boyfriends best friend who had a mental illness and would stare at me while trying to talk to me, even after it was obvious that I had finished all my sentences and was waiting for him to talk. It was unnerving. What would you have done under that situation? I wanted to ask him "yes? can I help you?" or "stop staring at me!!" but that would have been too rude for that situation...
january2011 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Some people are just awkward/have bad social skills/poor etiquette/or wasn't actually looking at you but looking through you and lost in his own thoughts - my SO has done the latter with other people in the past. I'd probably have asked him why he was staring. He made you feel uncomfortable, your reaction of discomfort expressed as anger is not suprising. But it is surprising that you didn't ask him why he was staring. I think that's a reasonable question and could be said without being too confrontational or rude. For example, "hey, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"
haribogumsnickers Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Put your shades on. Staring and gawking is all too weird enough. You could've politely asked what's up with the stare down buddy?..or just said straight up "bro, the thing that you're doing with your eyes non-blinking and everything is not cool"...nice eye lashes by the way." You're just too hot and he couldn't resist staring and glaring at your beauty. Just be like, "yeah, I'd do me too...".
Author SpiralOut Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 hahaha... well I was worried about putting him on the spot (since I hate it when people do that to me) and I was worried that everyone else would notice and that I'd cause a scene. I've been told by people that I'm scary when I'm angry. This includes when I am trying very hard to act calm. I'm very self-conscious already, so being stared at by a stranger pissed me off. It also pissed me off that he sort of laughed to himself, like he thought it was cute or funny that I was acting so uncomfortable? That seemed arrogant to me. Maybe that's just me overreacting though, what do you think? I think he is socially awkward. He was sharing way too much information.
GLDheart Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 He's definately gotten your attention now. Totally NOT my style of doing it... BUT, I'd say he's doing better than most guys.
BellaMarieOC Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I don't really see the problem here. I think you need to lighten up. From the sounds of it he's not a creeper and has plenty of friends in that class. Maybe he was staring through you and you thought he was staring at you. Maybe he was trying to signal to you that he was interested by looking at you. Either way it sounds like you are overreacting and need to calm down about it. If him looking at you bothers you THAT much then just excuse yourself the next time you think he's staring at you and move to another side of the room. No need to make a big deal about it.
pink_sugar Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Not sure if this is related or not, but often I get some weird creepy guy who's old enough to be my father staring at me and I purposely do something gross like pretend to pick my nose to get them to look away or just ignore them.
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