spooky48 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 If you've ever tried online dating & you receive winks, IMs, e-mails & other responses & you've replied back w/ a small thank you & letter, how long do you wait for another response? What are the purpose of these anyway? Just to flirt or is that person really interested in you? What are you supposed to do w/them? I know these questions sound a bit strange but, I've been getting them recently on 2 sites I'm currently on (even though I've thrown-in-the-towel for love). I am unsure if they're trying to scam me (like a nigerian fake profile for $ scam), being cruel or just literally taking the piss. I have responded to some but, I never heard back & it's been more than a week since I've responded back to them. Any advice? What are you supposed to do?
oaks Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 If you've ever tried online dating & you receive winks, IMs, e-mails & other responses & you've replied back w/ a small thank you & letter, how long do you wait for another response? What are the purpose of these anyway? Just to flirt or is that person really interested in you? What are you supposed to do w/them? I don't "wait" for responses. I assume that I won't get one (because, statistically, that's the likely outcome) and get on with other things. Then if I get a response it's a bonus (and a surprise, because I wasn't busy "waiting" for it). The purpose is "look at me!!!" or "hey, over here! I'm interested in you!" You're supposed to... well, do what you like. Maybe look at the profile. If you like what you see/read, why wouldn't you respond? 1
FitChick Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Sometimes winks and favorites and various other versions of those two are just ways to bookmark a profile so he can look it over later in more detail to decide to contact you or to subscribe if he sees a lot of interesting women to make it worthwhile subscribing. If I am interested I will favorite a man back so he knows I am receptive. Then it's up to him to contact me. 3
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I ignore all but actual emails. If I choose to reply I assume that's the end of the line. If they respond, then I take that in isolation also. I definitely don't like one-dimensional prods, like winks etc, and if I liked someone I'd email them. 3
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Then it's up to him to contact me. Why not contact him? 1
It's Just Me Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 On some paying sites, if I remember correctly, if you're not a paid member, you can only send winks. If the winkee (you) responds to them via the built-in email system, the winker cannot access that mail, although they do get a notification that they can access the mail if they pay up. Most people will not do that. Your message will just sit there, unread. Some of these unpaid members will actually put their regular (Yahoo, Gmail, etc.) addresses in their profiles, if they are actually serious about the winks they send out. If you want a reply back, this may be the route you have to take to reach them. Of course, some paying members do send winks, do get your mail, and never respond. That is definitely a fact of life in OLD. In a case like that, you move on. No big deal. 1
rocketman122 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) I get winks and jcards all the time. many without pictures and I cant take them seriously. they dont even take the time to choose a normal topic from the list. they simply choose the first one which is "I liked what I saw, and decided to make the first move" AND WOMAN!!! you are soo not creative when sending messages..I mean PATHETIC!! I send a nice sincere message. nothing cocky, or boasting or trying to hard but simple elegant and with style. but you females..? holy crap..some just send "hi".. thats it..nothing else. just hi. but almost all the time its just hi, and the telephone number. thats it. sheesh, puts somer effort in. I cant take them seriously. it must be hard to type more than 15 words. I do reply to anything I get out of common courtesy. yes, or no, love and dating is a sensitive manner and it only takes but a few seconds to say thanks, but no thank you. I dont get the same treatment back, but that says enough about a person. and those that send me winks dont even have an account so they cant read my message, so wth send it in the first place. and like the men, many woman are in the mindset, im here to find someone and i'll send out as many as possible and see who bites. and everyone has a lid to their pot but sometimes I click to see the picture to see who it is and I say to myself.."really, are you serious" I know its shallow but sheesh, what was she thinking? they try and if not, keep going. for me its not only about the looks (of course thats the first thing-physical attraction is primal). I take the time to read the profile completely, sometimes multiple times. even at times I badly want to send her a message (I never send a wink jcard. they are so impersonal and tacky) but reading her profile we are not compatible and Its best I pass. for me though its more technical things. Ive seen profiles on sites in the US and I love it when woman write as much as possible about themselves, but here in Israel its the opposite. most write one line and thats it and nothing much expect "Im good looking, happy, love going out and shopping" boring as crap generic garbage..seriously woman put some effort to write something about yourselves. I cant take a woman seriously if she doesnt fill in info about herself. I simply pass. the system is to help you filter out those who arent compatible with you and its a waste for me to constantly go on dates. Ive been on way too many. anybody wants to know about dating..this is the place..crash course..way too many dates already. but most of all, I walk away..too much bullcrap ego/dating games..I have zero tolerance for those. I can understand if I dated woman 30yo or less, but I date woman who are 45+ (im 40)..that should be behind them. I also think a lot of the sites have virtual accounts thats made to get you to pay. Im certain I came across 2 like these. btw, it PISSES me off that woman expect men to send them messages..they will click on my profile over and over (and I theirs) but nothing. woman, you want something, go get it..sheesh. Edited August 1, 2012 by rocketman122
Author spooky48 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I have currently 4 profiles still active. One is I have a subscription for until October 1st paid b/c I paid for it before I threw-in-the-towel. The other 3 are non-paid. However, I will not lie. EVERY single wink, nudge, flirt, IM & small e-mail I've received on these sites, I've followed up with a small e-mail back. I am not a flirter nor sexy at that so, I would never send a wink or a flirt. I felt as though, I took the real time to respond back but, every single one of these men on these sites have not followed up or asked me out. It's got to be "me" then. As for exchanging of personal e-mails & telephone/cellphone #s, I've done that too but, I've ONLY given my cell number & not my e-mail address or home landline #. Nothing has occurred either with them. I don't know if maybe my response is crappy or if they're not interested anymore or if it was a cruel joke, etc. initially because, that's happened to me before (just like scammers I identified through sites, etc.). So, I will say this, I have really, really tried to follow up with a small but, kind message with every man that responded to me. Sadly though, here I am still single (it's pathetic & laughable). At least I still have a busy life off of the computer...
haribogumsnickers Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Winks are meaningless and don't wait too long for the next response. Message someone who actually responds in a timely manner. But above all, wait long enough for someone who is interested and you find to be interesting enough. 1
chphan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Sometimes winks and favorites and various other versions of those two are just ways to bookmark a profile so he can look it over later in more detail to decide to contact you or to subscribe if he sees a lot of interesting women to make it worthwhile subscribing. If I am interested I will favorite a man back so he knows I am receptive. Then it's up to him to contact me. What you say is true in terms of why I would add someone to favorite it's so I can easily find and locate them to send a message later since I like to use the cellphone application to surf profiles when I'm bored. But I found out that some female users think you are a stalker if you add them to favorites and don't send a message right away. So I don't add females to favorites no more. And some female users have it in their profiles expressing that if you going to add them as a favorite you should at least drop a message saying, "hi." So I follow their rule and drop a messaging saying, "Hi", and introducing myself and they don't even respond back. LOL. So I don't bother with favorites anymore. Female users take guys adding them to their favorite list way too seriously.
Author spooky48 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Winks are meaningless and don't wait too long for the next response. Message someone who actually responds in a timely manner. But above all, wait long enough for someone who is interested and you find to be interesting enough. I love the last sentence of your post here, good advice!
Author spooky48 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 I'm finding that these last 2 weeks now, all I've received are flirts, winks & no follow-ups to the e-mails I've sent regarding receiving them... I just don't even feel like doing ANYTHING in regards to responding to love anymore, hence, why I've thrown-in-the-towel.
tivoconga Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 When I've responded to winks, I have had very good luck with follow-up responses. Women have explicitly told me that they send winks, because they get annoyed with the return rate on their e-mails. As such, the wink is a quick way to say, "hey, I'm interested", but doesn't require the time/effort of an e-mail that will likely not be returned. Yeah, it's the lazy bones way of doing things, but my return rate is >75% when responding to winks on Match.com - that's way better than my ~30% return rate on other messages [i don't send many messages cold]...
Author spooky48 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 If people keep sending you chat requests & you both actually schedule a time to be there & they repeatedly do not show-up or you get a message from them much later in the night, do you think there's something not working with your account or are they just not interested anymore? I am just not plainly maybe understanding what the deal with this is? Can anyone explain?
Meg717 Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 If people keep sending you chat requests & you both actually schedule a time to be there & they repeatedly do not show-up or you get a message from them much later in the night, do you think there's something not working with your account or are they just not interested anymore? I am just not plainly maybe understanding what the deal with this is? Can anyone explain? I am going to say they might not be interested. If I liked a guy and we scheduled a time to talk, I'd be there..
Author spooky48 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 The winks, smiles, IMs & messages are endless & now annoying. Every single one, I've written a reply to, asking to possibly speak later online or on the cell but, no responses. I seriously don't know what I'm doing wrong but, maybe...I should just eliminate or not go on my profiles for a while. We'll see.
CarrieT Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I seriously don't know what I'm doing wrong but, maybe...I should just eliminate or not go on my profiles for a while. We'll see. You aren't doing anything wrong - this is just the way internet sites work. Guys are trawling for "something" and a large percentage of them are married and just players. It is the process of figuring out who is genuine and who is there for the game. You either learn to deal with it or you don't.
Emilia Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I have responded to some but, I never heard back & it's been more than a week since I've responded back to them. Any advice? What are you supposed to do? In my experience men that contacted me with a wink or some card were never worth responding too because they always turned out to be flakes or a bad match (ie casual sex) on the rare occasion that I responded. Generally speaking, a person who wants to get to know you will write to you. If he is only trawling sites for something casual or if the is too shy/awkward, they are not likely to be a match for you.
rocketman122 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 The winks, smiles, IMs & messages are endless & now annoying. Every single one, I've written a reply to, asking to possibly speak later online or on the cell but, no responses. I seriously don't know what I'm doing wrong but, maybe...I should just eliminate or not go on my profiles for a while. We'll see. can you see if they read your messages? a lot just dont have membership so they cant reply.
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