Ryan13 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Alright, here's the story, I met a girl online, exchanged emails for amount a week, then she gave me her number. We then started texting back and forth for another couple weeks. (I had asked her out the first week, she was busy) We talked almost every night through texts and I would always tell her to have a wonderful night, etc. sometimes she would beat me to it. We finally went out and it was amazing, we sat and talked for what seemed like forever, the date ended with a kiss. We talked about going out again, and after another week or so we did go out again, the date lasted about 4-5 hours we just sat and talked. Later that same evening, I told her that I had a wonderful time and that I enjoy seeing her, her response was that she had a lot of fun as well and that we will go out again for sure. This was last Wednesday. She is currently in the process of buying a house, so I know she is super busy, on the second date I even went with her to the bank to get a document notarized. lol. The next day I sent her a text asking her how her day was, she said she was really happy since her offer for a house was accepted, I told her that was awesome, then I asked her what her pops thought of the house and she said he hadn't seen it yet, then wrote right after that she was at the vets...That was the last I heard from her. I will only chase so much, so I waited..and waited, two days then sent a text asking her how her day was, nothing...I'm totally lost as to what to do, the only response that I have heard from her, is her liking a mundane post I made on facebook...I know her phone works. It has been a week since I have talked to her last, I know she had a pretty crummy weekend due to what she has posted on facebook. It's hard for me to figure out what to do, I'm a full time student who has a boat load of extra time, she is a single mom, I'm 31 she's 27. Should I wait it out, or call? I'm crazy about this girl...not sure why, maybe the way she looks at me. Thanks in advance for the help.
monkey00 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Let's cut to the chase, did you meet her on a dating website? If yes, then that's why... But honestly though it doesn't seem like you did anything wrong. Though a hunch is that since she is a single mom, there's a possibility she's looking for someone assertive and a provider of sorts given her situation....or probably has uber baggage from the baby daddy.
yongyong Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 It sound like you put way more emotion to this hang out thing than her. (because you are freaking out) When a guy puts more emotion, it's such a turn off. (whether it's genuine or not) You didn't even bang this chick..... maybe you thought it was something very special and she was thinking you were just one of guys she met online. I look at women from OLD just as sexual objects. If I put my emotion to it, they will get scared and run so why should I?
Author Ryan13 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I did meet her on a dating website, as far as being assertive, I thought I was being a little too aggressive. Women confuse me sometimes. Okay, all the time.
Author Ryan13 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I wouldn't say I was really freaking out, just really confused. I stopped banging women on the first date, looking for a little more than just getting laid.
truth_seeker Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Alright, here's the story, I met a girl online, exchanged emails for amount a week, then she gave me her number. We then started texting back and forth for another couple weeks. (I had asked her out the first week, she was busy) We talked almost every night through texts and I would always tell her to have a wonderful night, etc. sometimes she would beat me to it. We finally went out and it was amazing, we sat and talked for what seemed like forever, the date ended with a kiss. We talked about going out again, and after another week or so we did go out again, the date lasted about 4-5 hours we just sat and talked. Later that same evening, I told her that I had a wonderful time and that I enjoy seeing her, her response was that she had a lot of fun as well and that we will go out again for sure. This was last Wednesday. She is currently in the process of buying a house, so I know she is super busy, on the second date I even went with her to the bank to get a document notarized. lol. The next day I sent her a text asking her how her day was, she said she was really happy since her offer for a house was accepted, I told her that was awesome, then I asked her what her pops thought of the house and she said he hadn't seen it yet, then wrote right after that she was at the vets...That was the last I heard from her. I will only chase so much, so I waited..and waited, two days then sent a text asking her how her day was, nothing...I'm totally lost as to what to do, the only response that I have heard from her, is her liking a mundane post I made on facebook...I know her phone works. It has been a week since I have talked to her last, I know she had a pretty crummy weekend due to what she has posted on facebook. It's hard for me to figure out what to do, I'm a full time student who has a boat load of extra time, she is a single mom, I'm 31 she's 27. Should I wait it out, or call? I'm crazy about this girl...not sure why, maybe the way she looks at me. Thanks in advance for the help. I went through something similar. Like you, I invested too much emotion into a person I didn't know at all, only from OLD. Girls on OLD, for the most part, are unstable and do not take it too seriously. They're being messaged by tons of guys and love their options. It's just the way it is. I would back off and let her come to you. If she doesn't, you could send a message asking her if she wants to meet or hang out. Personally, I would stay away from a single mother. At 27, she sounds like she has a lot of baggage you don't need to burden yourself with. Find a girl who is single, never married, has no kids. You're only into this girl, I know from my experience, because she is being a challenge for you. That's all it is.
Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Well I very recently went through something similar. I'm confused reading your thread though. Your last communication with her was that text conversation last Thursday that seemed pretty friendly... How did she disappear? Did you ask her out again? I'd say it wouldn't hurt to call her.
Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 My mistake, I just read where you sent her one more "How's your day" text since. Still you got to be more assertive. A phone call asking her out again....
Author Ryan13 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 My mistake, I just read where you sent her one more "How's your day" text since. Still you got to be more assertive. A phone call asking her out again.... Well I called...she didn't answer but she did text me right away saying, "I am in a meeting at work, sorry! What's up?" So I wrote back saying, just wanted to see how your day was going and when we were going to go out again, she replied with, soon, sorry Ive been so damn busy it's not funny and that she has been working longer hours. I just told her no worries and that since it's mid terms all week I'm not available but I'm open next week and asked her if she wanted to get together for some dinner downtown by the water, she was like, ya we could totally do that. We shall see what happens... Thanks for the advice so far, been a ton of help.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Look man you've really got to back off and slow down here...It's like cooking a steak man, there's a process to it, you don't just cut it up eagerly then throw it on a pan and set the heat to high...you've got to take your time, sear it to lock in the juices, then let it simmer down on medium heat and let it cook itself. You're basically just trying to get through that process too quickly and becoming too emotional, and women will back away from it because it comes off weird. If you're a decent guy (not sure I buy you sleeping with women on the first dates, you sound inexperienced to me) you've got to relax and not be over-zealous, especially when you really like a girl which you can tell is this case here and maybe she's throwing you off too because you're used to women being open and available but she's got other things going on with the kids, house, work so you're basically smothering her. I'm sure she had a good time but I'm not really sure what you're doing sending her texts and phone calls like If she really needs that, It's clear you are interested and want that attention and you're not letting her reciprocate. Be careful with some of the advice here, It's the blind leading the blind...even though they can relate to your circumstance. 1
SJC2008 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 What has he done to be over zealous or putting in too much emotion? It seems like you CANNOT like a woman before she likes you, she has to like you first??
Author Ryan13 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Look man you've really got to back off and slow down here...It's like cooking a steak man, there's a process to it, you don't just cut it up eagerly then throw it on a pan and set the heat to high...you've got to take your time, sear it to lock in the juices, then let it simmer down on medium heat and let it cook itself. You're basically just trying to get through that process too quickly and becoming too emotional, and women will back away from it because it comes off weird. If you're a decent guy (not sure I buy you sleeping with women on the first dates, you sound inexperienced to me) you've got to relax and not be over-zealous, especially when you really like a girl which you can tell is this case here and maybe she's throwing you off too because you're used to women being open and available but she's got other things going on with the kids, house, work so you're basically smothering her. I'm sure she had a good time but I'm not really sure what you're doing sending her texts and phone calls like If she really needs that, It's clear you are interested and want that attention and you're not letting her reciprocate. Be careful with some of the advice here, It's the blind leading the blind...even though they can relate to your circumstance. Well said, as far as being inexperienced, I spent the last decade in the military not really wanted any type of relationship, although there were a few now and again that last 6 months or so, so yea a little inexperienced in the whole dating thing. The last thing I want to do is smother her, but now I kind of have an idea what is going on, I can step back(which I should have done first) and let it simmer.
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