lovehurts5 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Long story of the BU can be found under emotional roller coaster. short story is my ex and I dated 4 years, broke up April 29th, hooked up May 26th, last I spoke to him was May 29th because he kissed someone in front of me and was calling her his girl 3 weeks our break up. He called me June 29th at 1230am but I didn't answer and I heard he was going to say hoe he screwed up and how he only wanted to be BU for 1 month. And now 2 months after no contact I am dying to text him.... All my friends are saying no.... Idk what to do...
KatZee Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Long story of the BU can be found under emotional roller coaster. short story is my ex and I dated 4 years, broke up April 29th, hooked up May 26th, last I spoke to him was May 29th because he kissed someone in front of me and was calling her his girl 3 weeks our break up. He called me June 29th at 1230am but I didn't answer and I heard he was going to say hoe he screwed up and how he only wanted to be BU for 1 month. And now 2 months after no contact I am dying to text him.... All my friends are saying no.... Idk what to do... He's not reaching out to you. He's out getting with other girls. There's absolutely no reason to contact him. You're looking for answers, or closure, or some sign he misses you. He doesn't. Keep NC.
Crila16 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sorry you're going through this, but the plain fact is, if he wanted to talk and text with you...he would have. NC is the only way. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll get him back with NC, but it does help you to eventually move on, prevent you from chasing someone who doesn't want to be with you, and may even possibly...give the person the chance to realize how much he misses you not being there. NC...never call. He broke up with you. If he wants you, he'll move mountains to get you back.
Author lovehurts5 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 He did try contacting me once... he told my friend he guesses he'll give up since I didn't answer the call? Do you think it's fair to say he thinks i'm the one that's moved on and okay? Because i'm not.. Maybe i'm just delusional.
flitzanu Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 He did try contacting me once... he told my friend he guesses he'll give up since I didn't answer the call? Do you think it's fair to say he thinks i'm the one that's moved on and okay? Because i'm not.. Maybe i'm just delusional. no. all of this is wrong. missing one call doesn't amount to anything. it's just his pathetic excuse to try to blameshift.
k100danny Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 he called you at 12.30am? yeah that wasn't to say sorry lets get back together trust me.
Canadian731 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 He is using you, he knows that if he gives you hope of getting back together he can get the booty call, seems like that's what you are to him now which is sad if he want to get back together he would try a lot harder to get a hold of you rather then calling at 12:30
salmagundi Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 if you want one man's point of view...its that the only way to really really make a man want you for real...is to tell the sad f?&k that he can't have you and make him vanish from your life. The only better way is to let him find out that you've found someone else... 1
steveblack Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Men are really really really easy. If he wanted to contact you for the reasons you want, he would. You got to move on. He is not the right partner for you. Stop looking at the good times, but look at him for the scumbag he is. move on, listen to your friends. And if he really really really wanted you, he would contact you more than once.... trust me
Samilia Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Long story of the BU can be found under emotional roller coaster. short story is my ex and I dated 4 years, broke up April 29th, hooked up May 26th, last I spoke to him was May 29th because he kissed someone in front of me and was calling her his girl 3 weeks our break up. He called me June 29th at 1230am but I didn't answer and I heard he was going to say hoe he screwed up and how he only wanted to be BU for 1 month. And now 2 months after no contact I am dying to text him.... All my friends are saying no.... Idk what to do... 12.30 is equivalent to drunk calling, not to a serious conversation. He would have called back after that, he didn't. I find his behavior to be disrespectful.. he used you for sex, kissed someone else in front of you, called in the middle of the night.. actions speak louder than words; and words you haven't even heard from him. I understand you're missing him, 4 years is not something you can get over in 4 weeks, but I wouldn't try to contact him. I found out that the only way to get someone back is to make them miss you, to show them that you have a life without them. So do just that.
Pod81 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Congrats on getting your first breadcrumb! If you read the threads on LS, almost all exes will throw out more than just one. Sure, it might be months down the road, but I don't believe he'll give up after just one attempt...especially considering that your relationship was 4 years long. There is ABSOLUTELY and POSITIVELY no way he's matured enough for a true reconciliation after 2 months. He kissed another girl in front of you AND he agreed with the break-up just to show you what life is like without him? Clearly, he values his own ego over the relationship you guys had. He needs to take this time to go from being an immature boy to a man! Any interaction you have with him while he's this immature boy will only set you back emotionally. Stay strong with the NC! 1
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) Long story of the BU can be found under emotional roller coaster. short story is my ex and I dated 4 years, broke up April 29th, hooked up May 26th, last I spoke to him was May 29th because he kissed someone in front of me and was calling her his girl 3 weeks our break up. He called me June 29th at 1230am but I didn't answer and I heard he was going to say hoe he screwed up and how he only wanted to be BU for 1 month. And now 2 months after no contact I am dying to text him.... All my friends are saying no.... Idk what to do... Go to the coping section and read the sticky at the top of the page, the guide to NC by no foolin'. It'll help you understand why NC is so important right now!! Here's the link. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion No good can come of your texting him. I can promise you that. 2 months is great and that is 2 months of healing and grieving. Contacting him WILL bring NEW pain into your life, something that will set you back. Don't do it! Just post here when you feel like contacting him.. Edited August 1, 2012 by whichwayisup put link in.
AnchordHeart Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 He's not worth it at this point. I feel like he's probably just starting to miss you. You'll KNOW he misses you if he shows up on your doorstep. Dont cave in at this little breadcrumb.
cbplayer Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Long story of the BU can be found under emotional roller coaster. short story is my ex and I dated 4 years, broke up April 29th, hooked up May 26th, last I spoke to him was May 29th because he kissed someone in front of me and was calling her his girl 3 weeks our break up. He called me June 29th at 1230am but I didn't answer and I heard he was going to say hoe he screwed up and how he only wanted to be BU for 1 month. And now 2 months after no contact I am dying to text him.... All my friends are saying no.... Idk what to do... Can you trust him? Do you still love him? Did you have terrible relationship?
Author lovehurts5 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I really really appreciate all of your advice so much! As badly as I want to text him I am not going to.. I agree that if he cared enough he would contact me again. I wish he would care but there's no changing him, he's got to do that on his own. I completely trusted him our whole entire relationship, it wasn't until 3 weeks after when I saw him with that girl that the trust was broken. Clearly he had this girl at least in the back of his mind because they worked together who knows if he had more going on with her while we were together. I can only hope that wasn't the case. I do still love him. A lot. A large part of me probably always will love him despite his actions right after our relationship. Our relationship was amazing the first 2 years, the last 2 we fought about very stupid little things. It sucks how things turned out and he told my friend that he also hates how things turned out.... I'll keep trying to be strong.. Thank you all again.
Recommended Posts