Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I noticed this about myself. I would say that 75% I am confident, breezy, and go for what I want in life. I would also say that a good 25% I can be really sensitive and insecure. I am working on this so that instead of it being 75/25 maybe it's 85/15 or 90/10 or whatever. Anyone else able to relate?
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Sure. No healthy person wants to be insecure. The right person will make you feel secure however
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Yup. It's the difference between your head (the 75%) and your heart (the remaining 25%). You can intellectually believe certain things about yourself, but until your heart believes it too, you'll find yourself being insecure. It's a long road to make them meet in the middle...
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Sure. No healthy person wants to be insecure. The right person will make you feel secure however I couldn't disagree more. Other people don't make you feel secure. That comes from within. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I noticed this about myself. I would say that 75% I am confident, breezy, and go for what I want in life. I would also say that a good 25% I can be really sensitive and insecure. I am working on this so that instead of it being 75/25 maybe it's 85/15 or 90/10 or whatever. Anyone else able to relate? is this a ratio thing again.....how do you determine the ratio when there are no exact science to emotive responses...hmmmmm i am 100 per cent deb no returns no regifts 100 per cent pure love.....i love that song ......thats my ratio.....deal with it or i kick your butt
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I couldn't disagree more. Other people don't make you feel secure. That comes from within. Nonsense, the right person makes you feel very good about yourself the wrong person doesn't. The key is not to tolerate the latter obviously but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's not the AIM to find someone that makes you feel secure but it is what happens.
Author Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) I did some more thinking about this. When I was younger I had a horrible self-image. I was shy, short, and un-athletic growing up, and I felt socially challenged. The one thing that I have always had going for me, though, is that I am incredibly stubborn and persistent and I knew I was wiling to do whatever it took to turn this thing around and get myself the life I want. I have done A LOT of work on self-improvement and on understanding women and dating. I made myself approach women and other people until I got pretty decent at it. I took up CrossFit. I worked my ass off until I got a muscle-up (I focused on that in particular because for some reason those represented tangible progress for me in my athletic development and getting them would be a badge of honor, an accomplishment) and now I can do bunches of them--not because I'm talented but instead because I worked so hard at them. BUT I still have issues. Women disappearing on me or coming on strong and then blowing me off triggers something, some sort of insecurity in myself, and I react. (Although the last girl I posted about I really did like.) Maybe it's that I still have that old bad self-image that comes out. Wow, I have really been bearing my soul here lately... Edited August 1, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
yongyong Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Everyone will act fake when they meet someone new. 'You are not meeting him/her, you are meeting his/her representative' Obviously as you guys spend more time, your real personality will come out and it could be a turn off to the other person.
Author Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Everyone will act fake when they meet someone new. 'You are not meeting him/her, you are meeting his/her representative' Obviously as you guys spend more time, your real personality will come out and it could be a turn off to the other person. As unsavory as it might sound, there is a lot of truth to that. It's even a part of social skills. "How are you doing?" at the start of a job interview from someone who is almost a complete stranger engenders a very different response than "How are you doing?" from your best friend. At some point you do have to get to what's real though.
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Nonsense, the right person makes you feel very good about yourself the wrong person doesn't. The key is not to tolerate the latter obviously but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's not the AIM to find someone that makes you feel secure but it is what happens. I think this is chicken and egg. If you don't have confidence in yourself it's almost impossible to dismiss haters, and easy for others to reduce or eliminate what confidence you started with. That's why my vote goes on the DIY method. I've worked on it a lot with counselling. Not in dating particulaly, but in all aspects I felt split personality. The super-anxious with no faith in myself, and the rational smart one. Over time they've merged more and I feel whole, and some of that anxious person is actually simply how I process. It's part of how I make decisions and is vital. I embrace it now, because it doesn't hold me back or impact negatively.
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