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When you don't notice a woman's signals, you've achieved success.


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Posted

A male friend of mine was at a party, and I was with him among other friends. There was this woman that seemed really engaged in conversation with him, I was watching her as she was talking to him. I was with him at the time when she approached. I knew her well, but she seemed to be maintaining eye contact with him, and not with me.

 

You know how 3 people are talking, and the one person that's talking is always looking back and forth at both people when telling a story. Her eyes weren't even on me, was in total eye contact with him all the way.

 

I think she was talking about rival highschools, and I threw something in about how our mascott was the Bulldogs, and she looks at me and said what her mascott was, too...then she went straight back talking to him.

 

After we parted ways and mingled with other people....I caught up with him later, and started hanging with him, and apparently there was a band there...people were dancing and such having a good ol time.

 

Well, a SLOW song comes on....and she approaches him and was asking or insisting he dance with her.

 

He said his ankle was kind of sore lately, and he didn't feel like doing so (this is when she was first asking)

 

He would always turn down women for dancing. Apparently he wasn't much into "freestyle" dancing, but more of a swing dancing. For a dancer, it was ironic how he would find any excuse NOT to dance, esp. when women would try to "get him up on the dance floor"

 

I was wondering if this was all part of his "game"? or not....but he never indicated to me such things.

 

1. He had a legitimately sore ankle

2. He just didn't like to free-style dance.

3. He doesn't like to dance on carpeted floors.

 

So guys, if a pretty woman asks you to dance, would actually give a rats ass if those were 3 of the above?

 

For #1 - Men would continue to aggravate a sore foot to SLOW dance with a woman.

 

For #2 - He turns down women because he doesn't dance the way most people do.

 

For # 3 - Who gives a rat's behind about carpeted floors?

 

Seriously, MEN...would you honestly forgoe those 3 just to dance with a woman, ESP if she asks you to dance?

 

Anyhow, he did say how some people told him "Yeah, I think so and so has the hots for you" and he kind of jokes and says, "Yeah, someone has to hit me over the head with a log in order to say. "I'm interested in you!"

 

ALL part of his game? Yes or no?

Posted

No, he is self conscious. I know a lot of men like that. Shame that it inhibits his ability to take it a step further with someone.

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Posted
No, he is self conscious. I know a lot of men like that. Shame that it inhibits his ability to take it a step further with someone.

 

Right, I THAT was the word, "Self-consouis" or "self-aware"

 

I'm like "You just turned down a slow dance offer from a pretty lady, and you turned it down because you have a slightly sore foot or the rug has shag carpeting?"

 

Maybe I should start doing that. I've turned down dancing with groups of women that kind of wave me over, the only reason I do it, its because it's a mood thing, after a few songs, Ill join them.

 

This guy hardly ever does dance.

Posted

You can be self conscious if you are too self aware

 

Dancing is a great way to connect, shame for him, he obviously doesn't have the confidence

Posted

irc, do you admire this guy's success with women?

 

I know a few guys like this, and they don't feel particularly successful with women. It frustrates me (for them), because even I can see when a woman is into them! But they don't see the signals, and as such don't make a move, and it goes nowhere.

Posted

I've seen it all the time in my life. Sitting at a restaurant or a bar, and one of the women is staring at one of the guys while he is talking and totally fixated and laughing and hanging on his every word.

 

A few times it has been a woman I've been into. That blows. It won't happen again though...

Posted

?

 

I'm confused by the thread title. How exactly did he achieve success?

 

It looks like he missed an opportunity instead

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  • Author
Posted
I've seen it all the time in my life. Sitting at a restaurant or a bar, and one of the women is staring at one of the guys while he is talking and totally fixated and laughing and hanging on his every word.

 

A few times it has been a woman I've been into. That blows. It won't happen again though...

 

So often I had prayed for a woman to be that INTO me and my every word while talking. Only to see some guy she's just wasting her time with. :laugh: I've known women to be oblivious to such things, but hardly ever the other way around.

Posted (edited)
You can be self conscious if you are too self aware

 

Dancing is a great way to connect, shame for him, he obviously doesn't have the confidence

 

I think this is a major part of my problem. I think I have a very heightened sense of self awareness, and I can overanalyze even the most mundane of things and be a bit self conscious of my actions or silly things like that. I often do great in social settings when I've drank a bit and can be relaxed physically and mentally.. I can be the same way sober, but only if I'm comfortable with those around me in the first place.

Edited by ScreamingTrees
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