ThaWholigan Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 How did inexperience turn into a debate about misogyny? 1
It's Just Me Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Getting back to the original topic... I don't know that I'd be happy with someone with no experience, and I don't have the patience to teach. I keep picturing Matthew Broderick with the hooker in Biloxi Blues. However... being with someone new, despite their experience level, is like a learning/teaching process anyway, so... perhaps I'm being too squirrelly. But he definitely has to know how to kiss.
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I was also going to add that I dated someone with less experience before my last ex but his attitude was very different. He was a good student I really think it comes down to attitude at the end of the day.
carhill Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Social relationship experience is important, indicating that a person can build and maintain healthy interpersonal relationships. That and family history are my two primary 'experience' factors to assess. The sex and kissing stuff can be worked out/assessed. People are always changing and growing. Each experience is part of that.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 To me it's both because the two are linked. My last ex was rather inexperienced at the age of 27 for cultural reasons rather than because of social anxiety. This meant several things that I have already learned and didn't really feel like going through with another person again: he had no idea how to build intimacy in bed but allowed his weird little pent-up fantasies to dominate which was extremely awkward to me; he had no idea how to kiss and to be fair he wasn't really learning (and we had a few opportunities together); he had no sexual finesse and he didn't really understand conflict resolution skills and the consequences of controlling behaviour towards the other person. It was a disaster and I would have not dated him if I had understood the extent of his inexperience. He basically made some of it up and that showed through once dating started getting more serious. I was also going to add that I dated someone with less experience before my last ex but his attitude was very different. He was a good student I really think it comes down to attitude at the end of the day. Ok. This does make sense. I do know some guys who are inexperienced due to culture and they do act somewhat awkward around women. Perhaps the cultural issue accounted for the differences between the two men you talked about here?
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Physical and relationship experience is extremely important to me and inexperience is a dealbreaker considering how often it seems inexperienced guys are quite misogynistic, hateful, bitter, or resentful towards women. Fair enough. Is this something that you would try to find out about someone beforehand or is it something like if he kisses you on the first date and it's awkward/bad and then he tells you he's never kissed before you run for the hills? I would hope most people would not be prejudiced against inexperienced people, but if that's sincerely your experience I can't really blame you for going by that.
ThaWholigan Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 As an inexperienced man who is fairly comfortable with it, I find it funny that those men who lack experience are automatically given a bad rap or seen as completely weird even if their reasons for inexperienced are perfectly understandable. Another is that they are somehow automatically bad at relating to people/opposite sex, or bad in bed, or both. I do a good job of masking my inexperience because I'm smart. People usually only know if I decide to tell them - or someone I know decides to spill the beans . Fortunately I don't take too much of life too seriously, so it doesn't bother me as it seems to bother other inexperienced men on the internet - but I see the funny side of it because it's ridiculous. I'd absolutely rock a girl's world, she'd be a fool to turn me down .
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 This is where men and women tend to be different. I believe men are way more open minded to this than women. As long as the woman is pretty and like him, that's all he cares. Doesn't matter if she's inexperience, low income, too short or too tall. If she's really to be with him and has a personality he likes than that's good enough. Women have way too many standards that a guy have to keep in order to please her. Well most women.
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 The sex and kissing stuff can be worked out/assessed. People are always changing and growing. Each experience is part of that. Not to mention that everyone is different and there's the part of getting comfortable with someone new so being a little inexperience with a new person is part of that I believe.
proseandpassion Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Not important. I could honestly say I would date a mid 30s woman (or older) who had never had a boyfriend. As long as she has general social experience, good enough. Plus vaginas on women tend be tighter if they have had less partners and especially if they have never had children. Oral would be tricky, but that stuff can be taught. Bananas and instructional videos. The whole vagina being tighter thing is such a "her boobs felt like a bag of sand" comment... clearly shows you know little to nothing about female anatomy.
aj22one Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 The whole vagina being tighter thing is such a "her boobs felt like a bag of sand" comment... clearly shows you know little to nothing about female anatomy. Well, it depends on what kind of sand you've got in the bag now doesn't it? haha
ptp Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I don't really care about her experience as long as she is open to trying new kinky things. I don't want someone who is close minded in bed.
Leopard Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I would proceed with caution definitely. I would wonder why a guy, especially in this day and age, doesn't have any sexual experience. My first thoughts would be that something is fundamentally wrong with him.
Leopard Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 The whole vagina being tighter thing is such a "her boobs felt like a bag of sand" comment... clearly shows you know little to nothing about female anatomy. I don't mean to be blunt or rude...but I have heard from men that i'm "tight'. I assume this is because they have dated older women who have had kids or lots of sexual partners. So I always believed that it's true the vagina can either be "tight" or "lose" depending on what goes on down there.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I would proceed with caution definitely. I would wonder why a guy, especially in this day and age, doesn't have any sexual experience. My first thoughts would be that something is fundamentally wrong with him. At what age would you say it starts to be a concern? I'd imagine that an inexperienced 18 year old wouldn't be a big deal? What about a 21 year old? Or 25? 30?
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I would wonder why a guy, especially in this day and age, doesn't have any sexual experience. My first thoughts would be that something is fundamentally wrong with him. So you assume that somehow unattractive average looking guys, guys that are overweight, or underweight, or low income, or bad personality, ect, ect, can get laid just like that? Outside of hookers what women would want these guys? Most women would have standards and don't go sleeping with guys that are unattractive and average looking. Heck even the average girls wouldn't want an average or unattractive guys. Not everyone has good genes.
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 no women want inexperienced guys. it makes them angry when they find out. LOL. I believe it. Best to hide it and not say anything. If it's the point of things not working out in bed or whatever just assume or admit that you are nervous or have jittles, ect, ect. I think its logical that even the more mature women will understand that part because they are probably nervous too. LOL. Just say you need a few takes to get use to them.
Leopard Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 At what age would you say it starts to be a concern? I'd imagine that an inexperienced 18 year old wouldn't be a big deal? What about a 21 year old? Or 25? 30? I would say even 18. What GUY hasn't even kissed at 18? So you assume that somehow unattractive average looking guys, guys that are overweight, or underweight, or low income, or bad personality, ect, ect, can get laid just like that? Dood, for every ugly fat slob man is an ugly fat slob woman. There are more matches" for the below average people than there are for the above average people. 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I would say even 18. What GUY hasn't even kissed at 18? What about my situation? I've kissed plenty and had sex but obviously no real relationships so my endurance is horrible. Would you be okay with a guy just performing alot of oral/foreplay for a week or two to get his endurance up? I actually wouldn't mind giving head for 15-20 minutes to make up for my lack of interplay endurance
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Dood, for every ugly fat slob man is an ugly fat slob woman. There are more matches" for the below average people than there are for the above average people. So you assume that even an ugly fat slob man would try and have sex with a fat slob woman? Good luck in getting that erection. Heck personally speaking if I was an ugly fat slob I rather not lower my standards and sleep with an ugly fat slob woman just to prove I slept with someone.
brahmabull117 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 What about my situation? I've kissed plenty and had sex but obviously no real relationships so my endurance is horrible. Would you be okay with a guy just performing alot of oral/foreplay for a week or two to get his endurance up? I actually wouldn't mind giving head for 15-20 minutes to make up for my lack of interplay endurance meant to say intercourse endurance
Leopard Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 In that case, tell all the men on this forum to stop hating on women for dating "up" and not the men that are in their "league". Average women can't just get wet for only average men 1
chphan Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 the women aren't nervous and they'd hate me for being nervous and i don't even think i could get missionary right. i'd panic. but i'll never get to try cause i can't get first dates. women will know cause i'm awkward and they'll run away. i don't have a chance with any. they're rather be alone than with me. You don't know that. Not every women will think that or hate it cause you are nervous. You just need to find the right one that is understanding. Granted that is hard to do. 1
Leopard Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 theres no match for me. even a fat slob will run away and prefer to be alone. Then get off your lazy a$$ and do something about it. B*tching and moaning on a forum won't get you anywhere. 1
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 I would say even 18. What GUY hasn't even kissed at 18? I'd imagine a shy type probably, someone who blooms socially in college. I knew a lot of guys who graduated high school and were inexperienced. But, thank you for your perspective. I really appreciate it.
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