PIM Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 So I meet this amazing girl on OLD. Took me a while emailing back and forth but we finally setup the first date. Date, at least I think, went really well. Conversation flowed the whole time(as did the wine) she was very affectionate and so was I. Date ended with 2 passionate make out sessions. First walking to the subway and 2nd when we were saying goodbye. Text her a few days later she takes all day to get back to me. I call her the next day to make plans but she doesn't pick up. Next day I get a text from her that she was sick the night before. I ask to meet up but she says this week's no good, busy at work and leaving town. I say ok cool have a great time! I text her week after and catch up. She apologizes for not keeping in touch. We joke around about meeting up and she stops texting. I don't contact her that week. Week after I give her another try and she says she's out of town still. Another week passes, I text her and we joke around a bit about how I was out late last night and some of my more awkward dancing moves might have come out. After that I ask her how's here schedule look this week, no reply. That was a week ago. I know my first mistake was texting. I suck at it and I'm much better on the phone but she said her schedule was hectic so I figured it'd be the way to go. Anyway I pretty much know at my core this is a lost cause but was wondering should I give it one more shot by calling? I've been playing it pretty cool so far, really only texted once a week because she did mention how crazy work was(ie working wkends and late hours). Also terms have been good with me and her. Really no awkwardness or anything like that, I've been keeping it light even with her not replying all the time and I have been exploring options. Thing is even if I don't end up with the girl, I would really like to know where I went wrong. Is it weird to ask?
Chunky Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 If she was into you she would find a spare minute to call or text you. Forget her! Sounds like she isn't interested in you.
smellybelly Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 She isn't super interested but women tend to like persistence and confidence . Flatter her but be straight forward and confident. If you're going to try again try something like this.... I want to take you out for dinner next week . Which day is best for you.... Your intentions are straight forward and clear. If then no response then leave it for good and move on.
It's Just Me Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 There is something about your first date that turned her off. She's no longer interested. Move on.
Author PIM Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Yeah I think you're right there was something on the first date that turned her off. I would really like to know what it was but I wonder if I ask her what are the chances that: A) She'll tell me at all B) She'll tell the real reason. So really I shouldn't bother at all at this point.
SJC2008 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Online dating is tough for both sexes. A date can go great but there's always someone better at the click of a mouse. Don't ruminate over what you did and didn't do because it'll just get you down and make you insecure. As long as you were yourself don't worry about what you did. Also, I don't kiss on a first date (even though I just did) becauce it is totally unneccessary IMO. I mean really what's the point? A first date is a feeling out session to see if you are interested in seeing her again. If a woman is interested she is not going to deal break you over not kissing her on the first date. Besides just becasue the kiss you doesn't mean they are interested either. They don't know you and would rather go along with it becasue they are afraid you may go bonkers if they give you the cheek. Case in point my last date, I kissed her on the lips and she let me. She did not return my call either.
SJC2008 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Dude, she is multi dating. She has a few other guys lined up from OLD. If you are better than the other guys she may go out with you again. Right now she is multi dating. Welcome to the world of multi daters. True but what she is doing is dating out of her league because all of a sudden she can get really good looking men. Nevermind that before OLD they never paid attention to her. The good looking men prey on these types of women, pump then dump. But for some reaosn they don't see it comming. Instead of thinking "Hmm, all of a sudden these hot guys wanna date me, mabye I should keep my guard up to make sure I don't get used for sex". Instead what she'll do is rationalize "I'm busy, don't go to bars/clubs but I'm sure if I did I'd get hot guys".
madjac74 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 So I meet this amazing girl on OLD. Took me a while emailing back and forth but we finally setup the first date. Date, at least I think, went really well. Conversation flowed the whole time(as did the wine) she was very affectionate and so was I. Date ended with 2 passionate make out sessions. First walking to the subway and 2nd when we were saying goodbye. Text her a few days later she takes all day to get back to me. I call her the next day to make plans but she doesn't pick up. Next day I get a text from her that she was sick the night before. I ask to meet up but she says this week's no good, busy at work and leaving town. I say ok cool have a great time! I text her week after and catch up. She apologizes for not keeping in touch. We joke around about meeting up and she stops texting. I don't contact her that week. Week after I give her another try and she says she's out of town still. Another week passes, I text her and we joke around a bit about how I was out late last night and some of my more awkward dancing moves might have come out. After that I ask her how's here schedule look this week, no reply. That was a week ago. I know my first mistake was texting. I suck at it and I'm much better on the phone but she said her schedule was hectic so I figured it'd be the way to go. Anyway I pretty much know at my core this is a lost cause but was wondering should I give it one more shot by calling? I've been playing it pretty cool so far, really only texted once a week because she did mention how crazy work was(ie working wkends and late hours). Also terms have been good with me and her. Really no awkwardness or anything like that, I've been keeping it light even with her not replying all the time and I have been exploring options. Thing is even if I don't end up with the girl, I would really like to know where I went wrong. Is it weird to ask? Sometimes they are just ucked up. I had an experience just like yours. We met on an OLD and talked back and forth and finally went on a first date. We had a great time! Great conversation, fooled around at the bar...in the car (I know I sound like dr seuss) anyhoo it was fun and then she kind of flaked after that. We talked about setting up another date and then poof she just disappeared. It was about 2 weeks I hadnt heard from her and sent her a "happy mothers day" text...no big deal. Another few weeks went by so I figured maybe something happened so I just sent her a random "Hi" text and I get back "Madjac74 I have a boyfriend now. Do not contact me anymore" haha I was stunned and thinking...uhhhh I just said Hi. Anyhoo I didn't contact her again as she requested and moved on. So you probably did nothing wrong. Don't ask her. Just get away from her
henderson14 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 She was probably dating several men and you did not qualify for the finals. Well put. I agree.
Trimmer Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 She was probably dating several men and you did not qualify for the finals. Someone's been watching the Olympics...
YellowShark Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 She was probably dating several men and you did not qualify for the finals.Someone's been watching the Olympics... No it's true. PIM is one of many "clicks," and she has lost interest and gone elsewhere. Don't sweat it PIM easy come easy go. Today with cell phones and the internet it is virtually impossible not to firm up a second date. So if the oher person waffles, or avoids responding, you can be pretty sure it's a Ba-bye.
Trimmer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 No it's true. PIM is one of many "clicks," and she has lost interest and gone elsewhere. Don't sweat it PIM easy come easy go. Today with cell phones and the internet it is virtually impossible not to firm up a second date. So if the oher person waffles, or avoids responding, you can be pretty sure it's a Ba-bye. Oh, I agree. I just thought Pierre's choice of terminology was quite topical.
Author PIM Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 No it's true. PIM is one of many "clicks," and she has lost interest and gone elsewhere. Don't sweat it PIM easy come easy go. Today with cell phones and the internet it is virtually impossible not to firm up a second date. So if the oher person waffles, or avoids responding, you can be pretty sure it's a Ba-bye. Usually I would have that attitude but this girl's different. I was a wreck leading up to the date as you can see here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/332416-first-date-way-out-my-league-crazy-nervous Her photos were amazing online and not only that she seemed cool, yet silly and playful exactly my type. And when we met up she didn't disappoint at all. Did I happen to mention this was the hottest/cutest girl I've ever taken out from OLD or IRL? She was literally TV pretty.... Not only that, I thought I crushed the date. Good conversation, we were both being pretty affectionate and it ended with, what I thought, was a really passionate make out session. To go from as happy as I was that night to no second date it's almost too much to take. I f**king hate dating sometimes....
monkey00 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Date, at least I think, went really well. Conversation flowed the whole time(as did the wine) she was very affectionate and so was I. Date ended with 2 passionate make out sessions. First walking to the subway and 2nd when we were saying goodbye. I've been there, if you move too quickly with a girl on the first date you can scare her off. The faster you move the harder you crash. Next time if a date goes well you can give her a peck on the lips at the end of the date or second date. Who knows if this was the cause of it, but as OLD goes...people are notorious for multi-dating. But try a different approach next time instead of getting heavy on the physical. Text her a few days later she takes all day to get back to me. I call her the next day to make plans but she doesn't pick up. Next day I get a text from her that she was sick the night before. I ask to meet up but she says this week's no good, busy at work and leaving town. I say ok cool have a great time! This is all a pretty bad sign, already the first part is a red flag. If a girl is really really interested in a guy she won't take a whole day to text back. At most an hour or two.
Recommended Posts