YorickBrown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Ok, first off I'd like to say that I am quite "enlightened" by this topic and the replies. The reason I say this is because it primarily deals with mostly "long term" relationships and why it all "suddenly" "failed". I myself had only been in 2 relatively "serious/long" relationships. The first one, was while in my early 20's which lasted for about 3 years and the last one was fairly recently, ended about 2 months ago, and lasted for "only" 14 months (i consider it long if it lasts more than a year). Everything in between was / is living up the life of a bachelor with "just friends", flings, hoes and hookers...I know, pathetic me:o but those where "happy" times, forgettable but The more embarrassing part is that Im kinda old now (in my 30's) and you would think, that I should know better by now. I mean, I've experience a lot of stuff & am now all "grown up" (at least I'd like to think that) while managing to avoid the pitfalls of loving & losing for so long and didn't get myself...uhmmm.... horrifically "hitched" (think Will Smith in that movie Although, the last one came awfully close --- i feel awful saying it now . Nways, here's the "enlightened" part, which I will put into a question: Is it worth having a long term or prolonging a relationship, nowadays? You know, for more than a year? You see, I feel that the "best ones" and those that end up in marriage (if that's what you are ultimately into)...are those that are relatively short -- just months (after all, how long do you really need to get to know someone nowadays?) I dunno...it seems silly and stupid, but its either you probably either know or not if it'll work out, after just months of being together. In fact, sometimes it just takes weeks and you already know (although at this point, you're still kinda dazed ) Does it make sense then to make the time spent shorter if you already know and are ready to settle down with the one?
Floored Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Strangely, I think having my relationship go long-term is what saved us both a messy divorce in the end. We talked early marriage since EVERYONE we knew met and married within months; some of our high school classmates were enganged before graduating HS, so the social pressure was there already, and we were like two slices of the same pizza. I had a job making enough to live a slum life, and we were getting our respective educations, but we decided to wait until we were in better financial situations before marrying. By the time we reached that financial level, she decided she wanted a single life far from me and her old life to romp around. In a way, it would have been better to cut it off early since we didn't end up having the future we set up, but how could we know way back when? Maybe even back then she knew she was having doubts, I don't know if I'll ever know. I think next time I find someone I'm crazy about, and if she's even crazier about me, I won't be waiting years and years. I won't jump the gun before we're ready, but I won't put it past its expiration date either. EDIT: woooops, now I'm reading the thread title and I'm definitely a LS noob, so forgive my ignorance.
Author YorickBrown Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Strangely, I think having my relationship go long-term is what saved us both a messy divorce in the end. We talked early marriage since EVERYONE we knew met and married within months; some of our high school classmates were enganged before graduating HS, so the social pressure was there already, and we were like two slices of the same pizza. I had a job making enough to live a slum life, and we were getting our respective educations, but we decided to wait until we were in better financial situations before marrying. By the time we reached that financial level, she decided she wanted a single life far from me and her old life to romp around. In a way, it would have been better to cut it off early since we didn't end up having the future we set up, but how could we know way back when? Maybe even back then she knew she was having doubts, I don't know if I'll ever know. I think next time I find someone I'm crazy about, and if she's even crazier about me, I won't be waiting years and years. I won't jump the gun before we're ready, but I won't put it past its expiration date either. EDIT: woooops, now I'm reading the thread title and I'm definitely a LS noob, so forgive my ignorance. Thanks for the reply Floored. No worries about not being an LS vet, I just primarily directed it to them coz I assume they're "over" their relationships more than anyone else here...hence, thinking somewhat more clearly to answer this thread. So, you think there is an "expiration" date? I guess it make a lot of sense to wait before both partners are "ready" (although, can anyone really say they are 100% already? ) before the onset of GIGS gets to either one. I just think while "haste makes waste", too much time will kill all, if not most of the passion in the relationship eventually. And, what makes it worse is when the relationship has gone too long, it becomes much more hurtful and difficult to let go when it comes to that EXpiration (pun intended)...
Floored Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Expiration date isn't quite my full intent on what I'm driving home at. There's a point where if the relationship isn't growing, it's dying.
todreaminblue Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Ok, first off I'd like to say that I am quite "enlightened" by this topic and the replies. The reason I say this is because it primarily deals with mostly "long term" relationships and why it all "suddenly" "failed". I myself had only been in 2 relatively "serious/long" relationships. The first one, was while in my early 20's which lasted for about 3 years and the last one was fairly recently, ended about 2 months ago, and lasted for "only" 14 months (i consider it long if it lasts more than a year). Everything in between was / is living up the life of a bachelor with "just friends", flings, hoes and hookers...I know, pathetic me:o but those where "happy" times, forgettable but The more embarrassing part is that Im kinda old now (in my 30's) and you would think, that I should know better by now. I mean, I've experience a lot of stuff & am now all "grown up" (at least I'd like to think that) while managing to avoid the pitfalls of loving & losing for so long and didn't get myself...uhmmm.... horrifically "hitched" (think Will Smith in that movie Although, the last one came awfully close --- i feel awful saying it now . Nways, here's the "enlightened" part, which I will put into a question: Is it worth having a long term or prolonging a relationship, nowadays? You know, for more than a year? You see, I feel that the "best ones" and those that end up in marriage (if that's what you are ultimately into)...are those that are relatively short -- just months (after all, how long do you really need to get to know someone nowadays?) I dunno...it seems silly and stupid, but its either you probably either know or not if it'll work out, after just months of being together. In fact, sometimes it just takes weeks and you already know (although at this point, you're still kinda dazed ) Does it make sense then to make the time spent shorter if you already know and are ready to settle down with the one? Is it worth having a long term or prolonging a relationship, nowadays? You know, for more than a year? I don't think today's society allows for long term relationships.Relationships have become like society and that is a throwaway society.Affairs are paramount read across the board here at love shack.Add drug problems children and financial issues.Sign o the times.Celebrities switch and drop and marry people for periods of days.Long term celebrity couples are cracking and breaking up.Shows like geordie shore and jersey shore are considered cool to teens.When I walk past the tv I turn it off and say that is utter crap....watch national geographic.They do but it isnt their first preference.More teens are inside playing games and watching tv with 200 channels.They are not meeting people this way.Expanding a limited 68 cm tv size horizon takes effort.Apathy is something to be admired for some.So in conclusion with logic I might add Apathy, throwaway society,little effort....hmmmm doesn't look proimising.
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