he has left me for being too tired to have sex in the morning

[julialondon]

I´m really devastated. After 3 years my boyfriend has left me. I had been working full time and extra time at home, as well as studying for my final exams in the uni.

I had been working hours and hours at night and sleeping little.

When I managed to finish everything. I saw him, we went out, we had sex at night and then in the morning, on the first day I could really sleep I was exhausted and tired.

He wanted to have sex but I was exhausted and so I told him. He got angry and asked me to leave his house. he said that I cannot be in his bed if I don´t have sex with him. he said he doesn´t want me to say no to him that he wants somebody submissive and obedient.

I left, I tried to talk to him but he refused to and he even hit me.

I don´t know what went wrong. we were making plans together, going to courses together, travel together etc....

in the past he had been a bit agressive to me and angry for no reasons, he had cheated on me, and confessed, when we met and were dating, what I forgave.

I also forgave worse things, he left me when I was pregnant too, and had hit me in the past.

he said sorry for everything, and said that he wouldnt do it again and we would have other children and he loved me.

but now he does that, only because i was too tired to have sex in teh morning, but we had had sex hours ago.....

i´m very very very sad.

i cannot talk to him to make him understand i´m a human being. and i´m heart broken.

i love him too much

i always forgive i just want him to love me and be happy

and he is always leaving me for no reason. im really heart broken

[weallfalldown]

Hi. I caused problems in one of my relationships by asking and expecting sex too much. it put a lot of pressure on the relationship. I understand your upset, and i also used to leave my ex over silly things....but the bottom line is it bit me in the ass in the end, as all leaving someone all the time does, is cause insecurity and more problems, eventualy leading to a breakup. To be honest he is using the fact you love him as a power trip, and you need to be strong and give him an ultimatum.......as hard as it might be.

[sendme]

your bf sounds like my bf, and what I'm coming to realize is that with people like this you will never be able to show them you are human...

 

you'll never be able to show them your true worth because they are so wrapped up in their own world and their own worth...

 

they don't feel remorse for what they do which is why he does crappy things to you all the time...

 

if you're anything like me, you've probably thought to yourself if you stick around and take his crap he'll one day realize how awesome you are... but he won't... What he knows is that he can control you and manipulate you, and that his priorities always come first. and every time you take him back you re-enforce that, every time he treats you poorly and you tolerate it or get over it, every time there is a double standard and you accept it, you re-enforce to him that he is the center of his narcissistic world.

 

I feel for you, because it hurts like crazy to love someone so much who uses you and abuses you, who doesn't respect you or hear you, or even feel remorse for their actions. It sucks to have things go well for a while and then to have another drama over nothing, it sucks to feel you are always to blame for everything.

 

This is the pot calling the kettle black because I haven't left my current bf, but as someone who is in your situation, I say get out... he gave you the out, everyone on earth knows that any guy who would break up with you for not having sex with him on demand is a jerk. You are better you do deserve more, and you can walk away with your head held high! you've tolerated more than most people would, you've done everything you can, and he's to blame. He threw this away not you, and one day, you'll find someone who doesn't devalue you, someone who treats you the way everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect. And even if you're alone for a while... I'm beginning to think being alone is far better than constantly being with someone who tears you down.

[blotter]

Let me get this straight, he is physically abusing you, cheating on you, left you when you were pregnant and doing "worse things" than that, and you don't know "what went wrong". And then you let all this slide cause he said "sorry". It sounds to me like you might have a lot of issues of your own to deal with if you consider this a healthy relationship.

[TaraMaiden]

I´m really devastated. After 3 years my boyfriend has left me.

 

Good.

Change the locks, cut off all contact and report him to the police for violence and abuse.

Nobody - but nobody - here is going to advise you to reconcile, take him back, forgive him, give him another chance or even let him within a mile of you.

He's a bully, he's abusive and he's violent.

And everyone will tell you that, without exception.

 

 

Get him away from you, keep him away from you and please, please please, don't even think of trying to help us see his good, kind, considerate loving, generous, side, because it all becomes completely pointless and invalid when you see what he's really like.

He's a nasty, manipulative piece of trash, and he's nice when it's all cool and in his favour, but he turns vicious when you have a mind of your own.

 

Distance yourself from him now, permanently.

 

You really aren't expecting any other kind of feedback - are you - ?

[weallfalldown]

Easy said than done...............we all know when your in love it aint so easy...takes great courage and strength!....not everyone's that strong, but you are right!.

[Gulf-Delta]

I´m really devastated. After 3 years my boyfriend has left me. I had been working full time and extra time at home, as well as studying for my final exams in the uni.

I had been working hours and hours at night and sleeping little.

When I managed to finish everything. I saw him, we went out, we had sex at night and then in the morning, on the first day I could really sleep I was exhausted and tired.

He wanted to have sex but I was exhausted and so I told him. He got angry and asked me to leave his house. he said that I cannot be in his bed if I don´t have sex with him. he said he doesn´t want me to say no to him that he wants somebody submissive and obedient.

I left, I tried to talk to him but he refused to and he even hit me.

I don´t know what went wrong. we were making plans together, going to courses together, travel together etc....

in the past he had been a bit agressive to me and angry for no reasons, he had cheated on me, and confessed, when we met and were dating, what I forgave.

I also forgave worse things, he left me when I was pregnant too, and had hit me in the past.

he said sorry for everything, and said that he wouldnt do it again and we would have other children and he loved me.

but now he does that, only because i was too tired to have sex in teh morning, but we had had sex hours ago.....

i´m very very very sad.

i cannot talk to him to make him understand i´m a human being. and i´m heart broken.

i love him too much

i always forgive i just want him to love me and be happy

and he is always leaving me for no reason. im really heart broken

 

This sounds like a good thing. Never talk to him again, and don't let your kids see him either.

[biogirl05]

I recommend reading "getting past your breakup" by susan elliott, she also went through abusive relationships, but now she writes books about how to get out of them and find healthier relationships.