snowflakes88 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 As everyone has already pointed out, I think he's not that interested. Your conversation about exclusivity seems vague and unclear, and I think it's likely he went along with what you were saying in hopes of having sex with you. This guy is very clearly not really interested in a real relationship with you. The only reason you saw him is because you basically called and begged him to come get you, even giving up what you wanted (a real date) just to take whatever scraps he was willing to throw your way. You'll always be in this place - wondering if he's really into you, wondering if he's really interested - because you can't seem to stop pushing and contacting him. Would he contact you and make things happen if you stopped pushing? I think you know the answer is no, which is why you continue to push. This is totally one-sided. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would hope he wasn't lying through that whole conversation just to sleep with me..I mean i know i can be negative and worry alot..but I guess i would really hope he wasn't saying it and not truly meaning it.... Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Why would you think someone who doesn't even bother to contact you or take you out is serious about wanting to be exclusive with you? Again, you only saw him because you kept begging and nagging, and he took you back to his place and tried to sleep with you. Nothing about his behavior says he wants a serious relationship with you, and you seem totally gung-ho to have one with him - despite the fact that he is clearly not someone who can give you what you want. And let's be honest. If you fully believed him and thought things were great now, you wouldn't be back here seeking advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Actually I am the type to always seek advice; i overworry about alot of things. So you think basically he didnt mean it and will just blow me off once i sleep with him? Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Yes. He was already blowing you off, Rose. Again, you wouldn't have even seen him this time if you hadn't kept begging. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 And then he mentioned he has a ton of laundry to do So, he'd rather do laundry than go out on a date or hang out with you. After 6 dates and some texting, this isn't a relationship, he isn't your boyfriend. Stop calling him, stop opening up and telling him how you feel. It could be freaking him out, he could be thinking you have expectations. If he was truly interested he'd be making ALL the time in the world for you, making you feel more secure. Instead he seems to be just living his life without too much thought about you. Sorry to be blunt. Focus on your life, your friends and keep busy. If he calls and asks you out again, go and have fun, keep it light. Link to post Share on other sites
henderson14 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I honestly think not having sex yet is a problem. Have you turned down his advances? If so, that is the reason...guaranteed. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I honestly think not having sex yet is a problem. Have you turned down his advances? If so, that is the reason...guaranteed. After 6 dates? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 You may be completely right snowflake but to be honest some part of me believes him when he said he only got back thursday and wasn't meaning to neglect me and it wasn't like he has been out with friends or going to bars. And maybe the fact he does have a different lifestyle changes things a little too? I don't know..i guess for some reason i am trying to think more positive and give the benefit of the doubt? Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If you're happy with this situation, more power to you. The fact that you have like 10 threads dedicated to it suggests otherwise. Not sure what advice you are seeking if you've already decided to settle for what you're getting... good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 i'm just an anxious person inside..i overworry at times..i wish i could be more carefree but i guess this stuff usually gets to me..something i need to continue to try and work on. That's why i come here for advice. I spoke to a girlfriend and she doesn't believe he was lying to me. She thinks he would have ended it sooner already if he was just after sex and he wouldn't have been asking about my past with my ex, family etc... but who knows..maybe you are right and i will be blown off tonight. It's an insecurity i have that it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 You basically invited yourself over, he tried to blow you off and you didn't take the hint so he caved. Then you managed to squeeze "exclusivity" out of him--so is he your boyfriend? He's not affectionate, you can barely get a kiss out of him, he doesn't initiate contact...no wonder you are insecure about this. For some reason you are chalking it up to "he is different" but he isn't. If a guy is really into a girl, she KNOWS it. She isn't insecure about his feelings. She doesn't have to basically MAKE a guy be her boyfriend. well good luck, maybe he will magically change and start giving you more attention. Link to post Share on other sites
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