robaday Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 My ex gf, broke up with me 4 months ago. It was a brutal breakup, and I went NC immediately. After her contacting me repeatedly I caved and reinitiated contact. Guess,I was concerned about her, her behavior leading up to the break up had been highly unstable. We met up a few times at her insistence. Thing is though she has become increasingly controlling, but also insecure. A week ago, she threw an ultimatum at me - all or nothing. Thing is, Ive seen her two times a week over the last month. Considering she broke things off with me, her ultimatum essentially demanding security and a serious relationship, just isnt realistic for me right now. So I kicked her out the other night, told her i wont be forced into a serious relationship right now, and dont appreciate the way shes demanding security whilst removing my security. Not sure if this is the final end to this saga...I dont think Im in a position to handle threats or ultimatums right now.
Canadian731 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 You did the right thing by kicking her out, she is trying to manipulate you and that'd not ok. Don't respond to any of her attempts to contact you. She needs a time out, also it seems like you need this time to get your head around the whole situation. NC NC NC, that's the beat thing for you right now, personally I would treat it as the relationship is done, because either way you arent going back to the person she is being right now. Maybe once she works out her issues and proves it to you not just tells you she will change you can give it another go, if you do just start as friends. But that being said I wouldn't plan on you two getting back together. Goodluck man
Author robaday Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 thank you, i was wondering if i was being too harsh on her, but thank you, i needed an outside opinion. think she realises what shes done, shes been apologetic since, but i wont play this game.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Why is your self esteem low enough to want to deal with these kinds of women? Probably because he loves her? Just a hunch.
stillafool Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 thank you, i was wondering if i was being too harsh on her, but thank you, i needed an outside opinion. think she realises what shes done, shes been apologetic since, but i wont play this game. Why don't you want to be in a relationship with her? The girl wants to lock you down. Aren't you flattered?
Author robaday Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 Hey dude, yeah i do have issues, which is why im on an online forum asking for advice - i thought that was pretty obvious.......
Author robaday Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 Classic story of the modern male - no father present in my life, raised by mother and two sisters, incredibly shy until my mid twenties, developed nice substance abuse issues as coping mechanisms throughout my teens, throw in alcohol abuse, OCD, major depression, hypomania episodes, and a few tragedies, yeah im a psychologists dream. My self esteem has improved a lot since five years ago, when i was a real mess. Ive done three years of counselling, am free of all drugs, have and still read all manner of self help books, do a lot of exercise, basically mate, im a work in progress from a shell;) so yeah, advice appreciated
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