thavi Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Hey guys, I just broke up with my gf for the second time in all of our 4 years that i've known her. The first time we were broken up for 1 year then got back together and now I have just broken up with her again after 1 year. Yesterday before I broke up with her I had given it lots of thought and felt like it was the right thing to do. We had been having rough spots for about 8 months building up to our university graduation plagued by her cheating on me one time, her insistence that she couldn't put her whole self into our relationship because if she did she would be leaving herself open to be hurt by me again, her inability to trust me, and her demanding that I promise to marry her and remain close by where she is working because she can't do long distance. We went on a grad trip to europe for 1 month together which was fight free and an all round loving and good experience, and then we came back to the real world and things broke down again over and over. Long story short, I felt like it was time to break up with her and it was really hard and she pleaded with me and there were tears and it just about ripped my heart out for doing it to her. Now i've woken up, first day after breakup, and I feel terrible. I am second guessing myself, thinking that I should have given her a chance to change like she promised she would, giving her the chance to put her whole self into the relationship, show me how much she really loves and cherishes me, show me how much she has been taking me for granted, and telling me that if she failed in any of the things she promised she would do I could up and dump her on the spot. I feel so terrible and the reasons that I broke up with her are being swallowed up by my guilt at feeling like I wasn't good enough to even give her a chance. Was I wrong in what I did?
salmagundi Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 No, you were not wrong. Obviously something is wrong with this relationship. Otherwise, why is she cheating on you (repeatedly?!). Why is this the second time you've dumped her. Why do you go back and continue to invest yourself in this relationship rather than cutting the cord and seeing what else is out there. You know if you had done that the first time she cheated on you, you might not be on this forum today...
Canadian731 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Never second guess yourself on matters of the heart. If she really says she is gonna change now is the best time to teach her that she needs to. Go strict NC or as NC as possible. Don't text her, call her, email her, anything and if she does contact you don't respond. Tell her she needs to change if there is any hope of you two ever working and leave it at that. Take this time to enjoy life for you, do everything and anything you want
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