livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 All my ex claims is that I used him for stuff, and we broke up shortly after my birthday, maybe about a week after. NO I didn't use him to get gifts, but thats what he is saying. I had it tonight of him telling me all I did was use him so I told him I would be returning those gifts to his mailbox tomorrow. He said if I do thatll make things way worse. What do you guys think.
haribogumsnickers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Wait to return it on his birthday. No, bad advice. Truth be told, do what you think is right. Avoid the hostility. 1
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Wait to return it on his birthday. No, bad advice. Truth be told, do what you think is right. Avoid the hostility. Honestly I don't think anything can get worse than it is. I know it'll start more **** but I don't want one reminder of him anymore. He can have it back if he thinks I used him.
haribogumsnickers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Honestly I don't think anything can get worse than it is. I know it'll start more **** but I don't want one reminder of him anymore. He can have it back if he thinks I used him. Seeing how recent the breakup is, I can understand that you don't want to keep anything of his. I mean you can always box up everything and toss it. It's up to you but definitely remove his possessions. He seems like he's not over the BU yet. And if you feel like there's no going back, then by all means cut him off.
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Seeing how recent the breakup is, I can understand that you don't want to keep anything of his. I mean you can always box up everything and toss it. It's up to you but definitely remove his possessions. He seems like he's not over the BU yet. And if you feel like there's no going back, then by all means cut him off. I think he wants me to work my ass off to get him back, and Ive tried but we've argued here and there. So he only notices that. he got drunk tonight and texted me about something I posted online about a fraternity at my school asking me to come out to some event, and he got pissed off. So I replied and he just went off on me from there, Started saying all I do is use him, that I made it clear I don't want it to work, and he ended the conversation on the fact that I was a really bad girlfriend who did nothing for him.
haribogumsnickers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 He's clearly immature by drunk texting you for some drama. You don't deserve this treatment. You tried once to fix things and no improvements. Block his number or change yours. Cut him off now completely...the sooner the better.
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 He's clearly immature by drunk texting you for some drama. You don't deserve this treatment. You tried once to fix things and no improvements. Block his number or change yours. Cut him off now completely...the sooner the better. Agreed. I've tried, and he keeps getitng mad that i'm giving up. But this time it's for real. I don't know if I'll send it, probably not, but I have a pretty brutal note typed up right now. After i return his birthday **** to his mailbox Im going to send it, block him online, and block his phone so I won't get his texts. I'm done this time.
haribogumsnickers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 He's mad because you won't put up with his BS? Definitely a keeper. Sending the letter isn't necessary. Just keep it to yourself. Don't give him the satisfaction of showing your anger. If anything, show him just how happier you are now. 1
k100danny Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Hmm this is tricky. I feel i gave my ex a lot more than she gave me, she took everything for granted ect wHich annoyed me but I would never ask for any of the gifts i bought her for birthday, xmas ect back and would probably be quite offended if she sent them back to me. It sounds like maybe he is trying to make you feel guilty for breaking up with him or trying to do anything he can to remain in contact. I wouldn't send gifts back someone had bought for me unless they actually asked for me back as they were gifts from a time when they were given with love. I can understand someone being bitter if he spent a fortune on you for your bday then you broke up the next day without warning then in that case I would probably send it back but if it was on the cards ect i would keep it if it has meaning to you, if not and you really don't want it consider putting it in a box for a while and then see how you feel. I would never throw something away someone had bought me either.
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Hmm this is tricky. I feel i gave my ex a lot more than she gave me, she took everything for granted ect wHich annoyed me but I would never ask for any of the gifts i bought her for birthday, xmas ect back and would probably be quite offended if she sent them back to me. It sounds like maybe he is trying to make you feel guilty for breaking up with him or trying to do anything he can to remain in contact. I wouldn't send gifts back someone had bought for me unless they actually asked for me back as they were gifts from a time when they were given with love. I can understand someone being bitter if he spent a fortune on you for your bday then you broke up the next day without warning then in that case I would probably send it back but if it was on the cards ect i would keep it if it has meaning to you, if not and you really don't want it consider putting it in a box for a while and then see how you feel. I would never throw something away someone had bought me either. It was about a week after the birthday that the break up happened It was on impulse and I drove straight over to his house after to try to talk to him ebcause I didn't mean it. From that moment on I have been tryig to work with him but he just makes me mad so It seems like im constantly nagging him. I broke up with him we hadnt been talking much he hadnt been texting me much and that night we didnt talk all day or all night, i was trying to see if he would talk to me, so I get online and see he has 2 girls over at his house drinking so I call and acted like I was going out and was going to ask if he wanted to come, he got mad that I was going out and i broke up with him because he was yelling at me telling me I was no longer welcome. I think i've come to conclusion that as of tomorrow morning, its 6 am here and I havent gone to sleep.. I'm going to wake up, and if I have a text from him responding to the text his drunk ass passed out on, great. I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to block him online, not just delete, block him. I'm going to block his number. and I'm going to focus on me. I'll avoid his twitter account because that usually gets to me when I see things on it.
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Hmm this is tricky. I feel i gave my ex a lot more than she gave me, she took everything for granted ect wHich annoyed me but I would never ask for any of the gifts i bought her for birthday, xmas ect back and would probably be quite offended if she sent them back to me. It sounds like maybe he is trying to make you feel guilty for breaking up with him or trying to do anything he can to remain in contact. I wouldn't send gifts back someone had bought for me unless they actually asked for me back as they were gifts from a time when they were given with love. I can understand someone being bitter if he spent a fortune on you for your bday then you broke up the next day without warning then in that case I would probably send it back but if it was on the cards ect i would keep it if it has meaning to you, if not and you really don't want it consider putting it in a box for a while and then see how you feel. I would never throw something away someone had bought me either. And honestly, thats bull**** on his part. I tried to pay when we went out, but he would snatch my card away every time. When I could I would leave him his favorite snacks with a letter about how much I cared about him on his door. I painted him a cooler and filled it with all his favorite things for a formal we went to, and even post break up I found something in a store I thought he liked so I gave that to him. I really did try to do stuff for him but hes saying stuff like " al you had to do was cook dinner for me and that would have made such a difference" I'm not a good cook so i didnt want to do that..plus i had a roommate that was so dirty and used up the whole kitchen..
Author livelife Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 He's mad because you won't put up with his BS? Definitely a keeper. Sending the letter isn't necessary. Just keep it to yourself. Don't give him the satisfaction of showing your anger. If anything, show him just how happier you are now. Funny thing is, two of his fraternity brothers have asked me to go out and do fun stuff with people this weekend...and heck yes I'm going!
Pens55 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I dont see any need for you to return the gifts. If you honestly know that you were not using him, you shouldnt feel guilty about recieving the presents. I've been on both sides of this - both HARSH breakups initiated by her around xmas. The first time, I gave her a really nice diamond necklace and got broken up with pretty soon after...initially, I wanted it back, but I got over that pretty quickly - it was just initial spite that passed. The next year (yeah, pattern right...) I got her concert tickets to a band we both like - well we broke up like the day after xmas. All of the presents (hers and mine) were still in my car at the time of break up. I figured Id just hold on to everything and maybe things would get resolved..obviously they didnt. So I ended up keeping the gifts she got me (basically no thought token gifts) - I would have gladly given them back but no discussion took place. But I did keep the concert tickets I got for her (again, if she asked I wouldve given them to her). Long story short, I used the tickets, had a blast, and considered it payback for the crap she put me through. I felt guilty at first, but I eventually figured out that I dont owe her anything. She left, so her entitlement to my nice gesture went out the door with her. Guess I needed to let that out..sorry for hijacking, but hopefully it gave you another scenario to consider
steveblack Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Matters what you got. If you want it keep it. If not give it back. Those are just things, I bought my ex very expensive sofa, I am not asking for it back. I joked with her when we are breaking up that we would need to cut it in half.
AlexanderJames Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 So this a**hole guilt tripped you by saying you used him for gifts, then threatens you by saying if you return his gifts it will make things worse for you. Seriously. What a dick.
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Sounds a lot like my ex. It was always my fault. I was a terrible girlfriend because I had my own opinions, feelings, didn't agree with him 100% of the time, I wasn't smart enough, I was going behind his back, I couldn't relate - I mean you name it, he threw everything in the book at me. When you're in love with someone you don't see that it's a manipulation. They guilt trip you, you fall for it, they gain the power.
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