Leopard Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Why are you worried about other women not finding you attractive when you're in a relationship with a woman that you supposedly are "in love" with?
jobaba Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Hi, I guess I'm trying to increase my self-esteem and self worth, but right now, I'm basically crashing. I'm a short guy (5'2") and I'm quite stocky but muscular. Sort of like a small teddy bear. I deal with my height insecurities whilst I was at school and I was complacent with the fact that I wasn't going to grow any taller. I then spent the next 3 years of my life being rejected by girls for the same reason, that I was too short to date, but them telling me that I was a perfect guy was no help at all. I sort of cooled down after that. I did some gymnastics to help improve my body whilst at school. About 3-4 months later, a girl (now my gf) told me she had a crush on me and things went on from there. I've lost some weight but I'm still a stocky fellow. Earlier this year, I came across a tweet on Twitter by girls about short men. I ended up digging further and further and pretty much read all articles about forums and the such about short men, and their attractiveness and their dating successes as well as success in other aspects. For the record, I'm a student pilot and I've basically gone through hell so far and I'm not going to give up. If anyone reads Florida Today, they probably know about a flight school which has gone bust. Anyway, after digesting the information I garnered from these articles about short men, I found myself in heartbreaking pain. It's causing me to resent myself, my body and my existence; I don't feel like I can control it, but there is definitely an overall negative view and hate on short men by girls. Now I know I shouldn't want girls like that in my life, and I don't, but the mental damage has already been done, and the result is now someone who's heading towards social anxiety, who cannot seek help from anyone. What do I do? How can I feel attractive again? I'm an incredibly determined person and I am strong-willed - that's why my gf fell in love with me, because I am a strong person - I just feel weak Get used to it. I've had hangups about my height my whole life. I'd also say if you are Asian or Mexican, you're probably closer to the average than you think. Subtract 2 or 3 inches from average height. For instance, for Mexican American women, you're right around their average height. I see lots of Mexican guys my height and your height. It's only because this country and world are so shallow that we are made to feel like freaks. You know, you will likely have hangups your whole life, but just don't let it affect the things you do. Just do what you want and don't let anybody stop you. BTW, this reminds me of a funny thing. I have come across a few guys in my days who are slightly taller than me at 5'6" or 5'7" or so who have called me short and little. WTF? One of the guys was like an inch taller than me and called me tiny. It just illustrates the dog eat dog d@uchebag world we live in. I'm a few inches taller than you, but if I met you, I'd say we were about the same height and in the same boat.
jobaba Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I am what they consider tall, dark and handsome. 6'1, olive skin and built... Only problem is I sit in a wheelchair since the age of 7 so I never got so experience the advantages all of you on here talk about but I never seemed to have a problem with women (Had about 6 relationships and a couple of randoms) except one and it wasnt due to my wheel chair. It was hard to be born with the staple of what every girl wanted and than have it really mean nothing. But I never let it get in the way and never will. When I was in my teens I would of traded spots with a 5'2 guy or even a midget to get to walk cause I do not even remember what that is anymore but at about age 17 I decided that it is what makes me different, unique and stand out while sitting down LMAO! So I lived life as I am and got appreciated and loved for who I am. I am sure there are many women who wouldnt take a second look at me because of it and many who would. I respect them all and dont resent the ones who wouldnt. Love and respect your GF. Don't for one second thing she is settling because determination + strong willed + intellect + honor > reaching the top shelf. I don't mean to minimize your situation, but I have wondered this to myself before... If women were to choose between a man who was six foot tall and in a wheelchair and another guy with the exact same face who was 5'2" (or around there), who would they choose? And I think most women would choose you. So much of desirability and relationships is founded on social perception, and I really believe a guy in a wheelchair who is naturally tall projects more masculinity than a short guy. I believe this is true.
Forever Silent Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Hi, I guess I'm trying to increase my self-esteem and self worth, but right now, I'm basically crashing. I'm a short guy (5'2") and I'm quite stocky but muscular. Sort of like a small teddy bear. I deal with my height insecurities whilst I was at school and I was complacent with the fact that I wasn't going to grow any taller. I then spent the next 3 years of my life being rejected by girls for the same reason, that I was too short to date, but them telling me that I was a perfect guy was no help at all. I sort of cooled down after that. I did some gymnastics to help improve my body whilst at school. About 3-4 months later, a girl (now my gf) told me she had a crush on me and things went on from there. I've lost some weight but I'm still a stocky fellow. Earlier this year, I came across a tweet on Twitter by girls about short men. I ended up digging further and further and pretty much read all articles about forums and the such about short men, and their attractiveness and their dating successes as well as success in other aspects. For the record, I'm a student pilot and I've basically gone through hell so far and I'm not going to give up. If anyone reads Florida Today, they probably know about a flight school which has gone bust. Anyway, after digesting the information I garnered from these articles about short men, I found myself in heartbreaking pain. It's causing me to resent myself, my body and my existence; I don't feel like I can control it, but there is definitely an overall negative view and hate on short men by girls. Now I know I shouldn't want girls like that in my life, and I don't, but the mental damage has already been done, and the result is now someone who's heading towards social anxiety, who cannot seek help from anyone. What do I do? How can I feel attractive again? I'm an incredibly determined person and I am strong-willed - that's why my gf fell in love with me, because I am a strong person - I just feel weak How can you feel weak about something you have no control over. Do not let others dictate your happiness. Also you have a gf, why the heck do you still feel weak. She obviously is able to look beyond your height which should show you something about her character and her feelings about you. While you are feeling weak, you need to rethink your prorities and start being thankful and happy with what you currently have, and the first thing that would be on my list is my girl friend, who fell in love with my because I am strong person, not a tall person, not a small person, a strong person. May be peace be with you!
todreaminblue Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Being short is not a negative for women. Hell women aren't even called short, they are petite. Hmmm tell that to people who call me shorty......I am 6 foooooooooot i tell ya....lol...no one ever believes me....slinks off....deb
todreaminblue Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 your very stupid You write a three word answer implying someone is stupid.....hmmm...clever post don't you feel? Isn't it Ironic don't ya think? Please elaborate with your clarity and insight I am enthralled to hear in more than the given three words... Here are two questions... 1. Why is the poster "very" stupid? 2. Why did you feel the need to post three words with no real purpose. and here is one more. 3.Do you think what you posted was stupid and unnecessary? Don't answer that third question it is rhetorical.
Author silicone Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 I am what they consider tall, dark and handsome. 6'1, olive skin and built... Only problem is I sit in a wheelchair since the age of 7 so I never got so experience the advantages all of you on here talk about but I never seemed to have a problem with women (Had about 6 relationships and a couple of randoms) except one and it wasnt due to my wheel chair. It was hard to be born with the staple of what every girl wanted and than have it really mean nothing. But I never let it get in the way and never will. When I was in my teens I would of traded spots with a 5'2 guy or even a midget to get to walk cause I do not even remember what that is anymore but at about age 17 I decided that it is what makes me different, unique and stand out while sitting down LMAO! So I lived life as I am and got appreciated and loved for who I am. I am sure there are many women who wouldnt take a second look at me because of it and many who would. I respect them all and dont resent the ones who wouldnt. Love and respect your GF. Don't for one second thing she is settling because determination + strong willed + intellect + honor > reaching the top shelf. I think your last line really drills it into me. She wouldn't be with me if I wasn't somewhat of a good guy. You'd be suprised how "height obsessed" some women are online Sometimes they just type out a WHOLE paragraph explaining their height obession. Some women are even short, petite and STILL want a guy that's 6 feet or taller. One woman, only 5'3", must of repeated herself THREE times that "ONLY Email ME if you're 6 feet or taller, otherwise do not email me!!" She even made a remark, "Are there nothing but men 5'8" or shorter in this entire STATE??" She deserves to be single if she's THAT obsessed with such unrealistic criteria. Thanks Why are you worried about other women not finding you attractive when you're in a relationship with a woman that you supposedly are "in love" with? No, I feel unattractive.
Author silicone Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Silicone...you could always try Philipina women. They tend to fall even below 5 feet tall. I already have a girl, I think. Your going to have to figure this out for yourself. A lot of short men have to compensate in another way like career, athletic ability, etc. Just remember that everyone has their own insecurities. I happen to be extremely tall, but am insecure about my current job situation. YOU have to find a way to be OK with it and if YOU are OK with it people will be able to tell. A short insecure man is so easy to spot. Thanks
Author silicone Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Get used to it. I've had hangups about my height my whole life. I'd also say if you are Asian or Mexican, you're probably closer to the average than you think. Subtract 2 or 3 inches from average height. For instance, for Mexican American women, you're right around their average height. I see lots of Mexican guys my height and your height. It's only because this country and world are so shallow that we are made to feel like freaks. You know, you will likely have hangups your whole life, but just don't let it affect the things you do. Just do what you want and don't let anybody stop you. BTW, this reminds me of a funny thing. I have come across a few guys in my days who are slightly taller than me at 5'6" or 5'7" or so who have called me short and little. WTF? One of the guys was like an inch taller than me and called me tiny. It just illustrates the dog eat dog d@uchebag world we live in. I'm a few inches taller than you, but if I met you, I'd say we were about the same height and in the same boat. Cheers - at the moment, not many people know about it - I don't let it affect my operation or interaction with people. I don't mean to minimize your situation, but I have wondered this to myself before... If women were to choose between a man who was six foot tall and in a wheelchair and another guy with the exact same face who was 5'2" (or around there), who would they choose? And I think most women would choose you. So much of desirability and relationships is founded on social perception, and I really believe a guy in a wheelchair who is naturally tall projects more masculinity than a short guy. I believe this is true. Interested to know where our society has put us, isn't it? How can you feel weak about something you have no control over. Do not let others dictate your happiness. Also you have a gf, why the heck do you still feel weak. She obviously is able to look beyond your height which should show you something about her character and her feelings about you. While you are feeling weak, you need to rethink your prorities and start being thankful and happy with what you currently have, and the first thing that would be on my list is my girl friend, who fell in love with my because I am strong person, not a tall person, not a small person, a strong person. May be peace be with you! I'm trying, but here's the thing, I don't think that my gf is proud of me. She told her parents that we're just friends now, her public social profiles list her as single. She's going through a MF transition, so it could be her being hormonal, but I don't know. I just don't feel like she appreciates me sometimes.
NoCashBack Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Hi, I guess I'm trying to increase my self-esteem and self worth, but right now, I'm basically crashing. I'm a short guy (5'2") and I'm quite stocky but muscular. Sort of like a small teddy bear. I deal with my height insecurities whilst I was at school and I was complacent with the fact that I wasn't going to grow any taller. I then spent the next 3 years of my life being rejected by girls for the same reason, that I was too short to date, but them telling me that I was a perfect guy was no help at all. I sort of cooled down after that. I did some gymnastics to help improve my body whilst at school. About 3-4 months later, a girl (now my gf) told me she had a crush on me and things went on from there. I've lost some weight but I'm still a stocky fellow. Earlier this year, I came across a tweet on Twitter by girls about short men. I ended up digging further and further and pretty much read all articles about forums and the such about short men, and their attractiveness and their dating successes as well as success in other aspects. For the record, I'm a student pilot and I've basically gone through hell so far and I'm not going to give up. If anyone reads Florida Today, they probably know about a flight school which has gone bust. Anyway, after digesting the information I garnered from these articles about short men, I found myself in heartbreaking pain. It's causing me to resent myself, my body and my existence; I don't feel like I can control it, but there is definitely an overall negative view and hate on short men by girls. Now I know I shouldn't want girls like that in my life, and I don't, but the mental damage has already been done, and the result is now someone who's heading towards social anxiety, who cannot seek help from anyone. What do I do? How can I feel attractive again? I'm an incredibly determined person and I am strong-willed - that's why my gf fell in love with me, because I am a strong person - I just feel weak It sucks that women are not attracted to short men as much as tall men. People do discriminate against short guys, and not just in the love area either. It happens in the workplace and outside too. You're not the only short guy that has noticed this. Have you thought about doing an internet search for the word 'heightism' or "Height discrimination" or "short Men" and see what you get?
weallfalldown Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 hi, look i'm 6ft 4....i have issues with the way i look and i'm 37.....i'm slim with long legs, and people take the piss, but my face is very nice lol......so everyone's individual......unique
yongyong Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Why are you asking him to dig up negative info about short men? If you have a big nose, are you going to focus on how people are going to look at you badly? how about just focusing on positive side? It sucks that women are not attracted to short men as much as tall men. People do discriminate against short guys, and not just in the love area either. It happens in the workplace and outside too. You're not the only short guy that has noticed this. Have you thought about doing an internet search for the word 'heightism' or "Height discrimination" or "short Men" and see what you get?
Titanwolf Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) I've done some intense research on this during a time when I was researching how attraction affects human interaction. I have to say, in all honesty that some women are just vicious. The things they say could only be said with the anonymity of the internet, or within a close circle of trusted friends, it was brutal. Somehow they believe that an immutable trait is somehow your fault and that you consciously chose to be small. They attribute positive qualities such as assertiveness and confidence to a "Napoleon complex" (which has been proven to be a fallacy) and it's only more frustrating to the man, considering the fact that if it were a 6ft man with these qualities, it'd be admired and considered a virtue. Some women will say things in public (and make sure everyone hears) to uphold false nobility, but then return home and proceed to laugh at that 5 ft 5 guy who had the courage to speak to her that day. It is a cruel world my friend and there's not much you can do about that. Your height has no bearing on your character, NONE, so remember when you think about the quality of person you are, your height doesn't factor in. A guy once called me small (I've got a body like Tom Hardy in "Warrior") so I walked up to him point blank and said "I don't seem so small when you look me dead in the eye do I" and then the friends stepped in yada yada yada, the guy eventually left after he apologized. What I'm trying to say is, just because you feel weak inside, doesn't mean you should let people perpetuate that weakness but allowing them to tread all over you. I truly hope you find self assurance my friend, and if it helps any, I'm 5'4 and I've only been rejected once in my life. Edited July 31, 2012 by Titanwolf 1
ascendotum Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm trying, but here's the thing, I don't think that my gf is proud of me. She told her parents that we're just friends now, her public social profiles list her as single. She's going through a MF transition, so it could be her being hormonal, but I don't know. I just don't feel like she appreciates me sometimes. Just saw this. Those 3 things are not a good sign dude. Did she change it recently or was it always 'single'? 'hormonal' or maybe just more confident in herself now. I think you should get the inclination to start looking around and flirting with other girls in your spare time and look at transitioning yourself....to a new lover. Hey she said she 'single' on her profile. I personally think you will do better with asian/latino girls. If you have a great gf, then I think you can put your mind at ease and are unduly causing angst for yourself and possibly sabotaging your relationship focusing on this, but when you are single it would be tough on your self esteem. Good luck either way.
Fitz Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) wilt chamberlin slept with 15000 white women. First of all, you constantly bring up Wilt Chamberlain (in multiple LS threads). Why the fixation? Second of all, -yes. The odds are that Wilt slept with a lot of white women. But of course he did! Black women are a minority group! Remember, black people are only around 10% of the US population! And about half of that are black women! So of course, a rich and famous athlete had sex with lots of white women. It's a reflection of the population! Third of all -do you mean to tell me that Wilt Chamberlain turned down hot black women? Hot Hispanic women and hot Asian women etc.? So if some hot groupie snuck into his hotel room, you're saying that Wilt Chamberlain threw them out because they were not white? SMH... Otherwise, yeah. Height can be overcome. And sure, many women respond positively to being treated like crap. I'm not saying you have to become an as$****. But be careful about being too nice... Edited August 1, 2012 by Fitz
NoMagicBullet Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Earlier this year, I came across a tweet on Twitter by girls about short men. I ended up digging further and further and pretty much read all articles about forums and the such about short men, and their attractiveness and their dating successes as well as success in other aspects. ... Anyway, after digesting the information I garnered from these articles about short men, I found myself in heartbreaking pain. It's causing me to resent myself, my body and my existence;... Try to look at this in a larger persepctive -- this negative view of short men is just one of MANY negative messages men and women get everyday about their physical attributes. It's all horrible Jonestown Kool-Aid for the mind, heart, and soul. The easy answer is to avoid articles like these, but we all get deluged with this damn Kool-Aid every single day, unless we go live in a cave with no TV and no internet. I know where you are coming from, silicone. Just last week I saw something on TV about a breast enhancement device, and out of curiosity, I started looking up info on it and comparing it to surgical breast work. I'm not looking to get a boob job, and mostly I've been content with how mine look. But somehow after reading more about it all, I just felt like my breasts were totally inadequate. I felt a real sense of despair. I literally cried about it, and I've never done that before in my life: cry over my boobs. I guess the Kool-Aid finally got to me. I've gotten over it now, but I'm not going to be looking that stuff up again. So all I can say is avoid the Kool-Aid. Avoid articles like those and places where they crop up. That's what I keep trying to do, and after a while, I usually start feeling better. Sure, there are challenges that both short men and women face -- like not being taken seriously professionally, among other things. But don't start seeing the "women despise short men" boogeyman everywhere. Work on letting it go and accepting yourself again. If this is causing you a great deal of social anxiety, get some counseling. I don't know what is going on with your gf that she doesn't seem to want to make things publically official with you. Relationships are complex, so don't assume it has anything to do with your height. Also, there are still women out there who don't care how tall a man is. I'm one of them, and I'll say that the closer a man is to my height of 5' 2", the easier it is to kiss him! 2
RiverRunning Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Lots of women suck. FWIW, I'm 5'8". The man I'm marrying is 5'5", MAYBE 5'6" (if he's wearing shoes...whenever I've measured him, he's 5'5"). His height has never bothered me. I don't find him less attractive. There are women out there like me...unfortunately a LOT of people have been conditioned to be into a stereotypical look (thinness for guys on women, height for women on guys). It's going to reduce your matches. But there ARE matches out there for you.
NoCashBack Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Why are you asking him to dig up negative info about short men? If you have a big nose, are you going to focus on how people are going to look at you badly? how about just focusing on positive side? You need a brain check. What did you say ur gender was?!
mortensorchid Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I am 5'10", I have been with men who were/are shorter in the past, and quite honestly even though they said that it did not bother them, I think deep down they were uncomfortable with it. I also do not like hearing guys around me say that they are taller than they actually are, when they are far shorter. All I do is nod and agree, but I know the truth. I had a great aunt who worked as a nurse in the maternity ward of a hospital. This is a sort of but not really non PC thing to say today, but in her day should they encounter a couple having a baby with a tall man and a short woman (or vice versa), they would literally write on the chart "mismatch". Solution? I would go for small or smaller women. You really don't want to be with an Amazon (like me) or someone who could be bigger than me still. You'd feel more at ease with a smaller woman.
AwkwardGuy Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) Anyway, after digesting the information I garnered from these articles about short men, I found myself in heartbreaking pain. It's causing me to resent myself, my body and my existence; I don't feel like I can control it, but there is definitely an overall negative view and hate on short men by girls. Now I know I shouldn't want girls like that in my life, and I don't, but the mental damage has already been done, and the result is now someone who's heading towards social anxiety, who cannot seek help from anyone. Just registered here to say that I'm in the same position as you, actually in the advanced stage. I've always been quiet/sensitive and had self-esteem issues, but being 5'2 by high school has turned me into a complete social outcast. I couldn't stop feeling inferior next to people and that eventually has developed into severe social anxiety. I dropped out of uni and became depressed which has lead to several other medical issues. It's been like this for about 3 years now, I've scoured the internet for every possible article/video on the subject and of course it has damaged me further. Rarely anything good is said with regards to us on the internet or media, so I realized how unattractive it must be. They always make it sound like you must have some kind of outstanding feature or talent to compensate with, something to level the field. But as unlucky as it gets, I have a personality of a fish combined with absolutely no talents/aspirations to become a successful rich man/celebrity. All I ever aimed for was to be 'average', which obviously isn't never going to be enough to 'compensate' . I don't leave house anymore, don't have any friends and I'm unemployed. All because I absolutely despise myself for being this short and can't even think of anything else. I can't speak to girls at all, 1 rejection would destroy me entirely in this state of mind. Finally, living in a country with rather low standarts of living/zero opportunities (unlike the US and the rest) made me see how horribly wrong things have been going ever since I was born. And now only thoughts of ending life keep coming to mind... So I admire that you're not giving up and doing something with your life. I hope things will work out for you. Dont' become like me, no matter what they say. Edited August 2, 2012 by AwkwardGuy
Author silicone Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Try to look at this in a larger persepctive -- this negative view of short men is just one of MANY negative messages men and women get everyday about their physical attributes. It's all horrible Jonestown Kool-Aid for the mind, heart, and soul. The easy answer is to avoid articles like these, but we all get deluged with this damn Kool-Aid every single day, unless we go live in a cave with no TV and no internet. I know where you are coming from, silicone. Just last week I saw something on TV about a breast enhancement device, and out of curiosity, I started looking up info on it and comparing it to surgical breast work. I'm not looking to get a boob job, and mostly I've been content with how mine look. But somehow after reading more about it all, I just felt like my breasts were totally inadequate. I felt a real sense of despair. I literally cried about it, and I've never done that before in my life: cry over my boobs. I guess the Kool-Aid finally got to me. I've gotten over it now, but I'm not going to be looking that stuff up again. So all I can say is avoid the Kool-Aid. Avoid articles like those and places where they crop up. That's what I keep trying to do, and after a while, I usually start feeling better. Sure, there are challenges that both short men and women face -- like not being taken seriously professionally, among other things. But don't start seeing the "women despise short men" boogeyman everywhere. Work on letting it go and accepting yourself again. If this is causing you a great deal of social anxiety, get some counseling. I don't know what is going on with your gf that she doesn't seem to want to make things publically official with you. Relationships are complex, so don't assume it has anything to do with your height. Also, there are still women out there who don't care how tall a man is. I'm one of them, and I'll say that the closer a man is to my height of 5' 2", the easier it is to kiss him! Thanks - I'm desperately trying to avoid the kool-aid. I have a new flight instructor / teacher who is literally my height or taller by 1 cm, and he's an awesome guy. Yeah, he's raised my hopes and my self-esteem. I can't say that we've kissed in public, because we haven't had the chance too, being LDR etc. I'm sure she would if she had the chance to. It's just that I know she's going through a hard time. She's a MF trans, and it's hard on her but I can't be supportive if I keep getting locked out Lots of women suck. FWIW, I'm 5'8". The man I'm marrying is 5'5", MAYBE 5'6" (if he's wearing shoes...whenever I've measured him, he's 5'5"). His height has never bothered me. I don't find him less attractive. There are women out there like me...unfortunately a LOT of people have been conditioned to be into a stereotypical look (thinness for guys on women, height for women on guys). It's going to reduce your matches. But there ARE matches out there for you. The thing is, I'm only starting to see this better side of the coin. I went through 3 years worth rejections through my last years at school, not attending proms etc. Every girl whom I know though, all of whom are in relationships have said that if they weren't in relationships, they would totally into me. The only girl who has made it painfully obvious that she likes me/ into me, outside of my circle, is my cousin. I think William Gibson did have a fair quote: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by *******s.”
Author silicone Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 What women are attracted to is confidence. Stop reading stupid sh..! You get confident and you can do whatever you want ! Size will be equalized by confidence ! All women love men that are sure of themselves that is sexy. Not full of themselves ! The problem is, it's how I'm feeling inside, and it shows when I'm by myself. No one knows that I'm remotely affected by it I am 5'10", I have been with men who were/are shorter in the past, and quite honestly even though they said that it did not bother them, I think deep down they were uncomfortable with it. I also do not like hearing guys around me say that they are taller than they actually are, when they are far shorter. All I do is nod and agree, but I know the truth. I had a great aunt who worked as a nurse in the maternity ward of a hospital. This is a sort of but not really non PC thing to say today, but in her day should they encounter a couple having a baby with a tall man and a short woman (or vice versa), they would literally write on the chart "mismatch". Solution? I would go for small or smaller women. You really don't want to be with an Amazon (like me) or someone who could be bigger than me still. You'd feel more at ease with a smaller woman. Aww My girlfriend right now is an amazon (I don't think she'll forgive me, but she will when we're together in a room). I feel at ease though. I think it's because I'm so used to everyone being taller than me at different heights, it doesn't affect me associating myself with someone significantly taller than me. I had a gym instructor a few months ago who is 6'8". He kept telling me how amazed he was that I was able to outdo absolutely everyone in the weight training classes. To be fair, I do work hard, and when I do something, I do it with full intent and determination. That said, I do it for myself to maintain my figure (since I'm a stocky guy, it's easy for me to put on muscle and weight).
Author silicone Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Just registered here to say that I'm in the same position as you, actually in the advanced stage. I've always been quiet/sensitive and had self-esteem issues, but being 5'2 by high school has turned me into a complete social outcast. I couldn't stop feeling inferior next to people and that eventually has developed into severe social anxiety. I dropped out of uni and became depressed which has lead to several other medical issues. It's been like this for about 3 years now, I've scoured the internet for every possible article/video on the subject and of course it has damaged me further. Rarely anything good is said with regards to us on the internet or media, so I realized how unattractive it must be. They always make it sound like you must have some kind of outstanding feature or talent to compensate with, something to level the field. But as unlucky as it gets, I have a personality of a fish combined with absolutely no talents/aspirations to become a successful rich man/celebrity. All I ever aimed for was to be 'average', which obviously isn't never going to be enough to 'compensate' . I don't leave house anymore, don't have any friends and I'm unemployed. All because I absolutely despise myself for being this short and can't even think of anything else. I can't speak to girls at all, 1 rejection would destroy me entirely in this state of mind. Finally, living in a country with rather low standarts of living/zero opportunities (unlike the US and the rest) made me see how horribly wrong things have been going ever since I was born. And now only thoughts of ending life keep coming to mind... So I admire that you're not giving up and doing something with your life. I hope things will work out for you. Dont' become like me, no matter what they say. It's sad to read a story like this - simply because I've seen this in life, and it is just depressing. I might be quiet, but when I roar, I roar. That's probably what attracted my girlfriend to me, that and she saw me in my most loving persona that I've been. She knows that when I have a passion for something, nothing is going to stop me from achieving it. In fact, at school, in my last year, after I stopped asking girls out, and cooled down, my headmaster told me a few things. It was along the line of that he had never seen anyone as determined and optimised as I, and that he was truly lucky to be in my companionship. He called me an inspiration. He had only known me for 2 school years, yet he pretty much said to everyone that if his daughter brought me home, he couldn't ask for more. That said, a few weeks ago, I folded my guts and sang (a very female-orientated song) in an assembly of boys (I went to an all boys school). Receiving a standing ovation gives your the confidence, the hope and the power to do more. I was (and still am) a popular guy at school. Everyone knew me, but it wasn't just because of my determination and will, it was much more superficial, something I worked on hiding so that girls wouldn't positively discriminate for me if I asked them out. Alas, my plan to maintain the secret failed, and lo and behold - I had girls who had rejected me flirting with me heavily. I'm not a bad looking guy - I'm attractive in my own way. I do, however, have an aura of optimising in my wake. What we see on the outside is definitely not what's matching on the inside. I remain defiant to my strengths and aware of my weaknesses.
NoMagicBullet Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Optimism, like confidence, is attractive. You seem to have a lot going for you, and overall, a very good attitude about things. Maybe some of this "short man" stuff hit you the wrong way while you have concerns about your GF and the relationship. I think when we feel our relationships are solid and headed in a positive direction, it's a lot easier to brush off the world's negativity. Your GF being LDR and in the middle of a MF trans is a lot for her and you to deal with. You're right -- you can't be supportive if you're locked out. But maybe she has things she just needs to work out by herself right now. Maybe with the MF trans, she's in a holding pattern while she sorts out her future public identity, including being public about you being her boyfriend? Just a wild guess. I'm sure you've let her know that you care about her and are there for her, and that's the best you can do right now. Great quote by Gibson! I'm putting that on my refrigerator.
Author silicone Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 Optimism, like confidence, is attractive. You seem to have a lot going for you, and overall, a very good attitude about things. Maybe some of this "short man" stuff hit you the wrong way while you have concerns about your GF and the relationship. I think when we feel our relationships are solid and headed in a positive direction, it's a lot easier to brush off the world's negativity. Your GF being LDR and in the middle of a MF trans is a lot for her and you to deal with. You're right -- you can't be supportive if you're locked out. But maybe she has things she just needs to work out by herself right now. Maybe with the MF trans, she's in a holding pattern while she sorts out her future public identity, including being public about you being her boyfriend? Just a wild guess. I'm sure you've let her know that you care about her and are there for her, and that's the best you can do right now. Great quote by Gibson! I'm putting that on my refrigerator. I certainly have an optimistic outlook on things - I've gone through my share of crap this year alone, losing nearly $80k as my flight training school has gone bust :/, leaving me stranded out in Florida. It probably has hit me in the wrong way. I mind end up installing an internet filtering system due to somewhat of an obsession with the subject. I know she's just made her identity public, to her friends at least. I am truly glad for her. I was happy to hear that she was going to some sort of party based on the genre. She's been supportive of where she can be. Losing a friend, for her, a former mutual friend, wasn't easy, and it wasn't easy that she was being bombarded by that friend that she was using me for my money :/
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