Got a first date tonight!

[Fitz]

 

I get pissed at threads like this, it shows how looks are all you need for first impression.

I have been trolling random gals just for the fun of it. it actually can be really funny.

 

Its funny when women shame men with " the good looking guys are

so

charming and confident ". when it is obviously only their looks.

 

Sure, some girls may confuse "good looking" with what they think is being "confident" in order to feel less shallow.

 

But, guys are also guilty of judging women by their looks.

 

Of course, its frustrating when people claim to be indifferent to looks -but everybody (men and women) judge people based on appearance.

 

Its the way things are.

[It's Just Me]

He wants to sleep with you.

 

 

Now it is up to you as to whether you wouldn't mind:

 

 

A. Going over there having a good time and more than possible reject his advances.

B. Going over there and having a good time and then possibly cave into his advances.

C. Being honest and admitting that you aren't quite comfortable with that yet and would prefer a more public date.

 

 

I don't think any of them are wrong, it just comes down to which you prefer!

 

Oh, I have been there, and have always gone with C. Typically, that's where the contact would end, too - proving me right about the clown who would even suggest a home date for the second meeting.

 

The ones who really want to get to know you as a person never suggest that. Very inappropriate - unless all you want is to get laid and become a FWB. The suggestion speaks volumes about the person doing the inviting, but speaks even BIGGER volumes about those who accept this type of invitation.

 

As for those who will argue that it's cheaper to go this route than to buy dinner, I will suggest that not all dates require food. There's lots to do out there, and it doesn't have to revolve around dinnertime.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Oh, I have been there, and have always gone with C. Typically, that's where the contact would end, too - proving me right about the clown who would even suggest a home date for the second meeting.

 

The ones who really want to get to know you as a person never suggest that. Very inappropriate - unless all you want is to get laid and become a FWB. The suggestion speaks volumes about the person doing the inviting, but speaks even BIGGER volumes about those who accept this type of invitation.

 

As for those who will argue that it's cheaper to go this route than to buy dinner, I will suggest that not all dates require food. There's lots to do out there, and it doesn't have to revolve around dinnertime.

 

I absolutely agree with you. Suggestion in itself is such a turn off for me that I can't continue dating a person under such circumstances.

 

When this happened it the past I went with "going there but rejecting his advances"...to be honest EVERY SINGLE TIME guys put such heavy sexual moves on me that I felt extremely uncomfortable.

 

When I went with the option of suggesting something else and saying that I am not comfortable...guys acted like I am "forcing" them to take me out. They would agree but you could clearly see that they didn't really want to and were less than enthusiastic. And then they would just suggest home date for the next one...Basically, while you can "force" them to take you out, you still can't change their intent.

 

I do not believe that anyone is THAT clueless.

 

So now I go with option D: don't bother.

[Anela]

 

I get pissed at threads like this, it shows how looks are all you need for first impression.

I have been trolling random gals just for the fun of it. it actually can be really funny.

 

Its funny when women shame men with " the good looking guys are

so

charming and confident ". when it is obviously only their looks.

 

You were happy over a hot girl being nice to you, not that long ago:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/332467-my-hate-against-women-decreasing

 

You specified that she was

hot

; I remember someone remarking on that.

[It's Just Me]

 

I do not believe that anyone is THAT clueless.

 

So now I go with option D: don't bother.

 

Exactly. Huge red flag, and best to move on. It still irks me that some fairly naive women (who are looking for a real relationship) think it's the ultimate compliment to be invited to a guy's house for a second date! Really? You would go to a stranger's house that soon? All the emotional pitfalls aside, what about personal security?

 

I remember going on a first date with one guy. He seemed fun, and very genuine, but a bit aloof. We texted for a day, then he suggested that I go over to his place (an hour's drive away) to enjoy his new hot tub.

 

My answer was that I was busy, but I would love to meet him another time in the week for a walk along the beach near his place. Didn't hear from him until a week later, when he was drunk one night (by his own admission), in his hot tub, asking me to come for a visit that night.

 

I didn't reply until the next day. "Sorry, I was out with friends. If you still want to do something, let's bike or rollerblade on Saturday, at ZZZ Place which is halfway between us. What do you think?"

 

Two days later, on a Thursday, I get a text. "It's going to be hot out for the rest of the week. Wanna come to my place on Saturday?"

 

I stopped answering his texts. As I see it, I gave him every opportunity to save face, and show his true colours/intentions - and he did.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yep, exactly.

 

I had this situation few months ago: first date went well, as good first dates go. He asks if he can see me again, I say yes.

 

Second date: we text back and forth and he asks me if I am free on Saturday. I said yes and I actually had a specific movie I wanted to see so I suggested that. No response until the next day....when he said that he is not sure if he can make it on Sat. I say OK. Few hours later I get a text asking me if I want to hang out at his place on Sat. I again respond that I would rather go to the cinema and see that movie. His response was: "I hate cinemas, I would rather we get a DVD and watch it at my place".... I mean by this point it was blatantly obvious that I offered him an alternative multiple times that he rejected. So I said "Let's just forget it".

 

Few days later I get another text from him "How about you come to my place on Friday night, we can watch a DVD". I didn't respond.

 

Week later: "Why are you not responding to my texts?" I didn't respond.

 

 

Geeeeeez.

[Necromancer]

You were happy over a hot girl being nice to you, not that long ago:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/332467-my-hate-against-women-decreasing

 

You specified that she was hot; I remember someone remarking on that.

 

I approached her because she was so approachable, her looks had of course nothing to do with it. ^_^

[It's Just Me]

Yep, exactly.

 

I had this situation few months ago: first date went well, as good first dates go. He asks if he can see me again, I say yes.

 

Second date: we text back and forth and he asks me if I am free on Saturday. I said yes and I actually had a specific movie I wanted to see so I suggested that. No response until the next day....when he said that he is not sure if he can make it on Sat. I say OK. Few hours later I get a text asking me if I want to hang out at his place on Sat. I again respond that I would rather go to the cinema and see that movie. His response was: "I hate cinemas, I would rather we get a DVD and watch it at my place".... I mean by this point it was blatantly obvious that I offered him an alternative multiple times that he rejected. So I said "Let's just forget it".

 

Few days later I get another text from him "How about you come to my place on Friday night, we can watch a DVD". I didn't respond.

 

Week later: "Why are you not responding to my texts?" I didn't respond.

 

 

Geeeeeez.

 

You did the right thing. In other situations similar to this one, when pressed for an answer, I have actually said that I'm not comfortable going to a person's house so early in the game. The result was the same - POOF! Gone.

 

Good riddance. A good man (and they are out there, believe me) will understand, will find ways to make you feel comfortable, and will want to see you, no matter what the circumstances.

[Eternal Sunshine]

You did the right thing. In other situations similar to this one, when pressed for an answer, I have actually said that I'm not comfortable going to a person's house so early in the game. The result was the same - POOF! Gone.

 

Good riddance. A good man (and they are out there, believe me) will understand, will find ways to make you feel comfortable, and will want to see you, no matter what the circumstances.

 

Haha I have once said the same just straight up "I am not comfortable with going to your place just yet" He was all like "Oh OK no problem". A day later text "Wanna come to my place and eat dinner?" :rolleyes::rolleyes:

[miss_jaclynrae]

See eternal, that is the thing though, maybe it is just me, but at such an early stage I don't mind bringing up the third option and suggesting somewhere else because by doing that I can tell if I want to continue dating.

 

 

All I am saying is that I don't automatically write men off for ASKING. Consistently asking though is pressuring, and that is not ok for me.

And making feel bad for not wanting to is a HUGE no no.

[It's Just Me]

See eternal, that is the thing though, maybe it is just me, but at such an early stage I don't mind bringing up the third option and suggesting somewhere else because by doing that I can tell if I want to continue dating.

 

 

All I am saying is that I don't automatically write men off for ASKING. Consistently asking though is pressuring, and that is not ok for me.

And making feel bad for not wanting to is a HUGE no no.

 

Instead of jacking Jac's thread, we should start a new one on this very topic.