dannykeyz831 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Ex gf came to pick up some of her things that she had left at my house. I had such a hard time holding back the tears as we were saying our final goodbye to each other. This girl meant so much to me and it was a shame that she didn't feel the same towards me because I treated her like a princess and would have done anything for her. She didn't love me which is why i got dumped and I told her that I couldn't be her friend either so it ended just like that. We were on and off for 3 years and I still believed that things could have worked out. She just turned 24 a couple of weeks ago and I turned 29 on april. We got along so well and had amazing chemistry together. I never yelled at her or lay a hand on her and would even cook for her and make her lunch but at the end of the day she didn't love me and thought there was someone else out there better for her. Sure I didn't have the best job in the world and I'm still in the process of getting my career started (In the process of getting my B.A. in Criminal Justice) but that shouldn't matter right? Could it have been an age difference? Maybe I was too nice. I'm going crazy here thinking about what I should have done differently. I'm hurting big time guys. Please give me some advice...how do i move on from this?
Shaun1967 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Hey Buddy, You have done nothing wrong - its not your job, its not you. You are putting pressure on yourself and trying to find fault in yourself - dont do it! Things do change and very often one party dosen´t like it. I am like you my friend and my wife moved on - and she still is. Aparently!!! One thing for sure - dont chase her, she will run further. If possible dont have any communication with her - thats the best thing I have done for me, not her, me! It will give you chance to recover the loss without looking for that glimmer of hope. What you need to do is use the energy and concentrate on yourself - everyone says it and I thought "yeh yeah" but it does work. Do positive things - get out and about talk to people, friends, and laugh about anything. Try not to spend to much time mulling over things, it will bring you down. its not easy - but it does get easier! Cheers
Zammo25 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) If I have learned one thing it is words mean nothing. My ex was full one for 3 months, said she loved me, wanted me to sell up and move in with her and then she detached over the following months and despite me making mistakes I made it clear I did not want it to end. 6 weeks after I last saw her she is with another man and told me via a friend to never contact her again. It sucks but people's feelings change and there is no guarantee someone will be with you long term if they lose that feeling. Part of me wants her to be happy as she was a great Woman but part of me wants this new guy to be an absolute bastard for her to realise I was not so bad but I am not holding onto that. As far as I am concerned they will be blissfully happy and be married within 6 months. That makes it easier to deal with. I am a great guy and treated her and her daughter well but at the end of the day it was not enough. I have given up trying to work out the makings of the female mind now as it will literally drive you mad and destroy you, if you let it. Edited July 23, 2012 by Zammo25
Samilia Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Ex gf came to pick up some of her things that she had left at my house. I had such a hard time holding back the tears as we were saying our final goodbye to each other. This girl meant so much to me and it was a shame that she didn't feel the same towards me because I treated her like a princess and would have done anything for her. She didn't love me which is why i got dumped and I told her that I couldn't be her friend either so it ended just like that. We were on and off for 3 years and I still believed that things could have worked out. She just turned 24 a couple of weeks ago and I turned 29 on april. We got along so well and had amazing chemistry together. I never yelled at her or lay a hand on her and would even cook for her and make her lunch but at the end of the day she didn't love me and thought there was someone else out there better for her. Sure I didn't have the best job in the world and I'm still in the process of getting my career started (In the process of getting my B.A. in Criminal Justice) but that shouldn't matter right? Could it have been an age difference? Maybe I was too nice. I'm going crazy here thinking about what I should have done differently. I'm hurting big time guys. Please give me some advice...how do i move on from this? I had a guy who wanted me that bad years (and years) ago. He was nice, smart, had a great career with a lot of money. He just wasn't the guy. Don't beat yourself up.. that will be all but a good distant memory when you meet the right girl who will love you back. To move on you need to keep busy, and live. Simple as that. At first it's hard, and then it gets easier and easier, with a few relapses. I could suggest a few ways to keep busy: your BA, friends, volunteering, hiking, camping, family.. I love going to the movies and I love gardening.. that's how I keep busy, I'll always miss her though. But it's a different break up for me. I hope you get better soon, you're a smart guy with a lot of will if you got that far, use that to your advantage.
Author dannykeyz831 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Thanks for all your guys' support, it really does make the healing process that much smoother. One thing that I do wanna point out is that her very first love broke up with her and went through what I'm going through right now. This was right when we first met and actually one of the reason's she had broken up with me the first time in 2009. She even admitted one time that she always has to have a guy in her life. When we separated in 09, she immediately started seeing this one guy but realized he only wanted her for pleasure so dumped him and went back to me. Aside from, she has probably dated around 5 or 6 guys in the 3 years that we were on and off. The girl has severe OCD, where at times she would need me to call her just to tell her to stop. She would break down crying when I wouldn't pick up to tell her to stop and even broke the phone i gave her. Her dad left her when she was only 2 and she was born with a heart condition and had to have about multiple surgeries just to be able to make it past the age of 7 i believe. She's fine now but has to take medication every single day for her heart. She also has this huge scar that starts in between the top of her chest and ends to just right above her belly button area which she is self conscious about. She is a bit of an air head sometimes and at times seems to struggle with the simplest things. But I loved her. You think she might suffer from GIGS?
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