zanzi Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I am still in love with him. We broke up just over a week ago. I know there is not hope of reconcilliation and that we will never be back together again even though in my heart I know that is what I want. He refuses to speak to me and because of this, there are times I have suicidal thoughts and self harming thoughts that I am not proud of. I am going to have to get help for them again. What am I supposed to do? I know he is not coming back, but I am in love. Two days before we broke up he told me he was still in love with me, but he had already moved out and we were on a break. I believe he isn't talking to me because he still loves me and is hurting. Just because I know peoples feelings dont change that quickly. That is why it is hard for me to drop it. Something in me wont drop it as long as suspect what I have said. That he still loves me but is too hurt. I am not being stuck up, this is my honest suspicion. if I was told he didn't I would drop it much easier. But he told me he did love me. He never said that he broke up with me because he didn't love me but to "find himself." something in me is holding on to this idea with pitbull like strength. I am scared that I will never see him again. Really scared. I have slipped up before but now am NC because I know I'm not going to get any answers. I am getting sick because I dont eat that much anymore. I cry a lot, at least I dont still cut my arm. Before he left, we were living together. He said I was the love of his life and that he wanted to marry me one day. I guess he just loved who he thought I was, and not me. The pain is pretty bad.
tryingtofindmyway24 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) Hold on change is coming and I understand your pain I have been there before with the harmful thoughts also just to see if my bf or should I say ex bf would care or be sad or just to make him regret hurting me the way he did, for not talking to me either. Its not worth it I have been through alot and I still have alot to go through. I understand that this is the beginning so it will hurt now because I love him so much, but joy will come in the morning. Hang on things will get better it hurts like hell now and we dont actually see the outcome of our pain yet , but I am sure it will be better than what we are feeling right now . Good luck and keep me posted. P.S remember NO Man is worth your sanity!! not ever Edited July 23, 2012 by tryingtofindmyway24 add
JoJola Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I am still in love with him. We broke up just over a week ago. I know there is not hope of reconcilliation and that we will never be back together again even though in my heart I know that is what I want. He refuses to speak to me and because of this, there are times I have suicidal thoughts and self harming thoughts that I am not proud of. I am going to have to get help for them again. What am I supposed to do? I know he is not coming back, but I am in love. Two days before we broke up he told me he was still in love with me, but he had already moved out and we were on a break. I believe he isn't talking to me because he still loves me and is hurting. Just because I know peoples feelings dont change that quickly. That is why it is hard for me to drop it. Something in me wont drop it as long as suspect what I have said. That he still loves me but is too hurt. I am not being stuck up, this is my honest suspicion. if I was told he didn't I would drop it much easier. But he told me he did love me. He never said that he broke up with me because he didn't love me but to "find himself." something in me is holding on to this idea with pitbull like strength. I am scared that I will never see him again. Really scared. I have slipped up before but now am NC because I know I'm not going to get any answers. I am getting sick because I dont eat that much anymore. I cry a lot, at least I dont still cut my arm. Before he left, we were living together. He said I was the love of his life and that he wanted to marry me one day. I guess he just loved who he thought I was, and not me. The pain is pretty bad. Get help; i went through this type of breakup...i was prepared to end it all, simply just didnt care anymore. But the sun will shine again; it takes time, the dreaded word time. I did get help and in doing so i also seen how crazy i was acting..losing myself for a man. I found solitude in reading ... at least the book gave me something to do and was always there no matter what time it was. You can do this!
h2ojoy Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 hang in there. i know it's hard, i'm suffering the same pain. but it really does get better. what makes you think there's no hope anymore? it doesn't seem like this relationship ended on a bad note. maybe he needs time right now, as he said.
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