Woggle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 This past week on vacation has shown me what life can be like without letting this gender crap occupy my thoughts all the time. My wife and I had the best time and we met plenty of other couples who were madly in love and a few locals as well. The people in Costa Rica are just so nice. Anyway I see that there is a whole world outside of the bitter and cynical gender hating that happens online and I plan to embrace that instead of the crap I became obsessed with before. I have said I am ready before and while I will never say 100% certain anything it feels different this time. I truly don't want to be bitter and angry anymore and I want to feel the way I did this past week. 12
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I had a similar eye opening experience this weekend when I saw The Dark Knight Rises. I showed up early to wait in line (yes, I have nerd tendencies), and I was blown away by the amount of hot chicks that were there. I'm talking like--a few could pose in magazines if they wanted. Not only were these hot chicks in line, waiting for Batman like I was, they were there with the stereotypical nerd. Short, pasty, acne prone, poorly dressed, etc. I saw one tall (5'9-5'10) blonde white girl holding hands with a 5'2 filipino dude (I'm looking at you, Hokie) The amount of physical mismatches were unbelievable. For a second there, I forgot about this place, I forgot about the pick up artist bull****, and experienced a real human moment. Those people were together because they liked each other, and had stuff in common. It's nice to see stuff like that from time to time. Makes me believe one day I'll find a girl who's both smoking hot, AND has a personality. 8
tuxedo cat Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Just remember that making real change is less about having the right turning point then it is about keeping up the hard work that comes after a turning point.
Author Woggle Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I am not blaming it for anything but this past week showed me there is a whole different world out there than online gender wars.
SunandMoon Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 New here and don't know how you were beforehand.. But I'm glad you had an epiphany, of sorts, though! 1
utterer of lies Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I have said I am ready before and while I will never say 100% certain anything it feels different this time. I truly don't want to be bitter and angry anymore and I want to feel the way I did this past week. Congratulations! You made the first step already. 1
Forever Silent Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 This past week on vacation has shown me what life can be like without letting this gender crap occupy my thoughts all the time. My wife and I had the best time and we met plenty of other couples who were madly in love and a few locals as well. The people in Costa Rica are just so nice. Anyway I see that there is a whole world outside of the bitter and cynical gender hating that happens online and I plan to embrace that instead of the crap I became obsessed with before. I have said I am ready before and while I will never say 100% certain anything it feels different this time. I truly don't want to be bitter and angry anymore and I want to feel the way I did this past week. Im am happy for you. I do not know your history with gender, but I am glad to see you are embracing the moment and enjoying time with your wife. My motto is, we are humans first! Gender, race, and all that other good stuff can be sorted out at a later time. 1
Taramere Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Opinions on the internet tend to be toxic generally. I've not looked at LS for the last couple of days, but 5 minutes looking just now, and I see the usual negativity, passive aggression...and generally just stuff that can drag your mood down if you spend too long looking at it. It's pretty much the opposite of a tonic. I know my brother is addicted to arguing on Facebook. Not about gender issues...he's got zero interest in that, but he gets embroiled in all kinds of local politics and got me involved for a while. Again, it's a toxic waste of energy. He's under a load of stress. That's partly why he argues online so much, of course (a kind of coping mechanism) but its also adding to his stress and snappiness...which has resulted in him falling out various people. The internet can be a great source of information and networking, but forums like this draw us into a lot of pointless arguments and general "I don't like you...well guess what, I don't like you either..." playground pettiness. 5
madjac74 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Opinions on the internet tend to be toxic generally. I've not looked at LS for the last couple of days, but 5 minutes looking just now, and I see the usual negativity, passive aggression...and generally just stuff that can drag your mood down if you spend too long looking at it. It's pretty much the opposite of a tonic. I know my brother is addicted to arguing on Facebook. Not about gender issues...he's got zero interest in that, but he gets embroiled in all kinds of local politics and got me involved for a while. Again, it's a toxic waste of energy. He's under a load of stress. That's partly why he argues online so much, of course (a kind of coping mechanism) but its also adding to his stress and snappiness...which has resulted in him falling out various people. The internet can be a great source of information and networking, but forums like this draw us into a lot of pointless arguments and general "I don't like you...well guess what, I don't like you either..." playground pettiness. It's like watching Dr Phil. 1
Bristolius Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 If you have issues, this site has nothing to do with it. You really can't blame any of your problems on the Internet or the people you meet on the Internet who are mostly trolls and broken people. I love it because trolls and broken people are VERY entertaining. "The blessed in the heavenly kingdom will see the torment of the damned so they may even more thoroughly enjoy their blessedness" - St. Thomas Aquinas
Author Woggle Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 It is not just here. The internet tends to attract miserable people who now have a forum
Els Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I'm happy for you, Woggle, I really am. Good on you, and please do try to make it last! I had a similar eye opening experience this weekend when I saw The Dark Knight Rises. I showed up early to wait in line (yes, I have nerd tendencies), and I was blown away by the amount of hot chicks that were there. I'm talking like--a few could pose in magazines if they wanted. Not only were these hot chicks in line, waiting for Batman like I was, they were there with the stereotypical nerd. Short, pasty, acne prone, poorly dressed, etc. I saw one tall (5'9-5'10) blonde white girl holding hands with a 5'2 filipino dude (I'm looking at you, Hokie) The amount of physical mismatches were unbelievable. For a second there, I forgot about this place, I forgot about the pick up artist bull****, and experienced a real human moment. Those people were together because they liked each other, and had stuff in common. It's nice to see stuff like that from time to time. Makes me believe one day I'll find a girl who's both smoking hot, AND has a personality. I think this is great.. but I'm not sure you got the best epiphany out of it. If you genuinely had a 'real human moment' and learnt that people are so much more than just their surfaces, why did you need to make a point several times about how hot the girls were? I honestly think the true epiphany comes when you are able to see things both ways. To appreciate true love and genuine camaraderie regardless of how either one of the people looks - unattractive men and unattractive women, attractive men and unattractive women, attractive women and unattractive men, and attractive men and attractive women. (Not to leave homosexuals out of this, but it was getting long enough as it was )
carhill Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Since you have the wherewithall, buy a place in Costa Rica, make it a regular destination, and spend more time interacting with those nice people in person rather than reading prose from anonymous people on the internet. 1
mesmerized Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I don't get why you're bitter in the first place. At least bitter women here don't have anybody and are actually struggling. You apparently have a great wife but still come on internet complaining about women Glad you're trying to change though!
Els Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I don't get why you're bitter in the first place. At least bitter women here don't have anybody and are actually struggling. You apparently have a great wife but still come on internet complaining about women Glad you're trying to change though! I think it's fairly understandable given his childhood/history.
ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I don't get why you're bitter in the first place. At least bitter women here don't have anybody and are actually struggling. You apparently have a great wife but still come on internet complaining about women Glad you're trying to change though! The past has a habit of leaving scars that go way beyond the skin. Unfortunately, not everybody has the right armor to deal with it, either that or their armor has been severely damaged. I guess that Woggle's past continues to haunt him, but as long as he continues to reconcile with this and confront his demons, he will come out the other side with light in his soul. Good luck Woggle 1
serial muse Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Here's hoping, Woggle - really do wish you and your wife the best; I hope it "sticks".
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I'm happy for you, Woggle, I really am. Good on you, and please do try to make it last! I think this is great.. but I'm not sure you got the best epiphany out of it. If you genuinely had a 'real human moment' and learnt that people are so much more than just their surfaces, why did you need to make a point several times about how hot the girls were? I honestly think the true epiphany comes when you are able to see things both ways. To appreciate true love and genuine camaraderie regardless of how either one of the people looks - unattractive men and unattractive women, attractive men and unattractive women, attractive women and unattractive men, and attractive men and attractive women. (Not to leave homosexuals out of this, but it was getting long enough as it was ) Because a lot is made about looks on here. That unless you're a tall, fit, white man, you'll never have an exceptionally pretty woman. But there were indians, filipinos, hispanics, with all sorts of beautiful white women, some of whom were taller than them. It was like something out of big bang theory
Els Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Because a lot is made about looks on here. That unless you're a tall, fit, white man, you'll never have an exceptionally pretty woman. But there were indians, filipinos, hispanics, with all sorts of beautiful white women, some of whom were taller than them. It was like something out of big bang theory Yep, but why does the woman ALWAYS have to be exceptionally pretty? Because you're making a lot about looks. I guess it reminds me of a satirical piece I once saw of the moral of the story behind the Beauty and the Beast - looks don't matter, unless you're the girl. I don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong with what you said, just that it seems a strange and ironic epiphany to me. Sorta like if a woman said, "So I was feeling disheartened, then I went travelling and saw plenty of gorgeous 6-feet-tall male-model-lookalikes with sculpted muscles, walking hand-in-hand with homely-looking older women. Those guys were so incredibly hot, but the women didn't have to be model-lookalikes to get them. That gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling and faith in humanity - looks really don't matter." Y'know? 4
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Yep, but why does the woman ALWAYS have to be exceptionally pretty? Because you're making a lot about looks. I guess it reminds me of a satirical piece I once saw of the moral of the story behind the Beauty and the Beast - looks don't matter, unless you're the girl. I don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong with what you said, just that it seems a strange and ironic epiphany to me. Sorta like if a woman said, "So I was feeling disheartened, then I went travelling and saw plenty of gorgeous 6-feet-tall male-model-lookalikes with sculpted muscles, walking hand-in-hand with homely-looking older women. Those guys were so incredibly hot, but the women didn't have to be model-lookalikes to get them. That gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling and faith in humanity - looks really don't matter." Y'know? Of course looks are the focus here. Why would I care if the physically unattractive guys were with physically unattractive women? That's not a story. A nerdy, physically unattractive guy with a knockout, now that's a story. At least for me.
Els Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Of course looks are the focus here. Why would I care if the physically unattractive guys were with physically unattractive women? That's not a story. A nerdy, physically unattractive guy with a knockout, now that's a story. At least for me. So... aren't you just perpetrating the 'Because a lot is made about looks on here' situation? Your post focuses on looks every bit as much as any post about men needing to be 'tall, fit, white men', just in the other direction. I guess I just find the story to be rather amusingly paradoxical, given the moral that you tried to impart with it.
Taramere Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Yep, but why does the woman ALWAYS have to be exceptionally pretty? That's a very good point. Again, it seems to be chiefly on the internet that women's looks are all important. Where I live, a lot of the wealthy men are married to women who are tough as nails rather than beautiful/classy. On the internet, of course, all wealthy men are married to supermodels. 3
ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 That's a very good point. Again, it seems to be chiefly on the internet that women's looks are all important. Where I live, a lot of the wealthy men are married to women who are tough as nails rather than beautiful/classy. On the internet, of course, all wealthy men are married to supermodels. The internet = home of outdated stereotypes 3
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 So... aren't you just perpetrating the 'Because a lot is made about looks on here' situation? Your post focuses on looks every bit as much as any post about men needing to be 'tall, fit, white men', just in the other direction. I guess I just find the story to be rather amusingly paradoxical, given the moral that you tried to impart with it. The moral of the story is, you don't have to be exceptionally good looking to get someone exceptionally good looking.
Els Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 The moral of the story is, you don't have to be exceptionally good looking to get someone exceptionally good looking. Eh... I think you don't get my point. S'okay, I really don't want to derail Woggle's celebration thread with it. All I'm saying is that I got a good chuckle out of it. Let's move on.
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