alakazam Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We sort of got together by accident - we were best friends, and it "just happened". It sort of made sense, rather than me getting butterflies in my stomach. I've always felt comfortable and in love in a devoted way, but not in the "bowled over, swooning" sort of way. Recently, we've been having problems in our sex life and I've been finding myself feeling more like a best friend than a girlfriend. I've been really trying, because I think we have something special and I don't want to upset him or hurt him. But my feelings are just changing. If I could force myself to feel what I don't feel, then I would. I'm in my very early 20s and it's my first serious relationship. A couple of months ago, I started talking to another guy who I'd sort of seen around before. I didn't start talking to him with any intent - we live close to each other and have mutual friends, so when a group of people were hanging out, we'd walk together to where the others live. He does some past times and a degree that I'm really interested in, so I could just talk and talk to him for ages. I'm awful at misreading signals. But there were little things, like catching him looking at me and the fact that we'd end up just stood outside his flat talking for an extra 20 minutes when we'd walk each other back home. He's fully aware that I have a boyfriend, and he's painfully shy, so even if he did like me, he'd never try anything. To the rest of the world, me and my boyfriend seem completely in love and devoted to one another. I kept wondering if this other guy liked me though, and that in turn made me start to have feelings for him. I completely blocked these feelings out for about 6 weeks, before I really couldn't ignore it anymore. One week when we met up, he seemed really nervous and shier than usual. We were food shopping, and he was walking down the wrong aisles and stuttering when he spoke to me. I sort of started to think maybe he did have a little crush on me. He then saw me with my boyfriend another time, while I was really trying to give things a go with him and "be a good girlfriend". This other guy didn't say a word to me and seemed quite down throughout that meet-up. I bumped into him in the street a little while later, and he seemed a bit off. We've since talked, but not very much. This other guy's been under a lot of stress, so I've always made a point of being nice to him - I don't know if he's avoiding me because I have a boyfriend. I haven't done anything else to offend him. On the other hand, he's bad with Facebook/replying to texts, so again, I may be misreading signals. Things are really precarious with my boyfriend at the moment, because I'm moving abroad in the winter and things aren't stable as it is. It's driving me insane that I may only have a few months to try anything with this guy. He moves away the year after me, and by the time he comes back, I'll have graduated. Everyone else would think I was mad for leaving my boyfriend - we seem to have a perfect relationship on the outside. But I don't know what I want anymore. I've been trying to make things work with my boyfriend for months now, and it's not been very successful. What should I do? Is this classic "grass is greener" syndrome? I'm worried I'll regret not pursuing something with this other guy, but likewise worried I'll regret giving up on my relationship. (To make it clear, I'd NEVER cheat. I'm aware I have to make a decision one way or another - I'm worried that I'd rather be single completely than stay with my current partner) (P.S. Sorry if this is in the wrong forum) Edited July 20, 2012 by alakazam
QQsus Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 At least tell NOW your bf what you thinkin about. My gf didnt tell before bu anything. If you not sure yourself either, I think its better tell right away. The sooner the lesser it hurts.
Author alakazam Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 He sort of knows something's amiss. We have an LDR for a good chunk of the year, so at the moment I feel like I owe it to him not to break up with him by text message or the like, and to wait til I see him in person. But he knows that the intimacy is going.
Author alakazam Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 This is so confusing. It seems like "grass is greener", but then again things have been going wrong in my relationship for a long time.
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