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should i send him a closure letter with everything hes ever given me?


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Posted

so its close to being 4 weeks since the BU from our long term relationship. i'm still in disbelieve that he left me just like that. today i wrote a letter and it really summed up how i felt. i hear hes got a new girl already (rumors) and i suspect that's the honest reason he left. im very heartbroken...idk how someone could just give up a perfect relationship for a fling or it might be the G.I.G.S in his case. i didn't want to post the letter itself here but would love to email it to anyone that wants to read it and give me an input. everyone is telling me its to early to send it, but i just want him to know how i feel. i want him to hear my side of the story. i dont want anything in return.

 

i was hoping for him to call/text by now but im sure hes to caught up with his friends and life. If he did care and love me like he said the last night i saw him he would have made contact by now but no... :(

 

i deleted my FB and i hear he did the same which i have no idea why he did that. obviously idc what he does with his life and he knows i got rid of my fb right after the BU so maybe hes got something to hide? either way, idk what to do with this letter. i have all our pictures, cloths, other presents boxed up caz i cant stand looking at everything....so wait few more weeks and send it or just don't bother?

Posted

I'm fresh out of a breakup as well, and I'll let you know that saying those things doesnt make a difference. Then I start perusing online and reading books and what not and its better to just write it down to yourself and don't send it off. It will only push them away more.

 

NC is what I just started doing, and I'm already feeling a little better. I spent a week and half of still seeing my ex because she still had things at my place, and then she basically just stayed over and used my place to stay and had an un-honest week of pleasure with her before I couldnt handle the fact that she wouldnt change her mind and I just had to kill it off good. The interesting thing in my case was that when I did this, she was the one left crying and confused, and not me. I dont wish bad things on her, but it did make me feel a little better. :)

Posted

I would take the box with all those things and put them away in a basement, attic or the back of a closet. You can deal with all that and decide what to do with everything a year from now when it won't have any emotional impact on you.

 

Any kind of contact with an ex -- even just sending a good-bye letter-- is going to create more pain because it creates the hope for a reply.

 

It hurts if they don't reply... and it hurts if they do because they usually don't send the reply you're hoping for.

 

It's your choice, but in my experience it's never worth it.

 

Stick to NC and lean on your friends and family and this board for support. There's nothing he can say or do that's going to make you feel any better at this point.

Posted

I wrote a closure letter to my ex of 12 years. I left it for him to read and he just ripped it up. It made me feel a lot better to write it but I was Disappointed that he refused to read it. I would write it but just be prepared that he might not read it, or that he might not respond to it.

Posted

I sent my ex a letter after we broke up. It wasn't a nasty letter or anything and I don't regret sending it. She did read it but didn't reply to it. we spoke after this and when I finally decided I had to try and move on I sent I suppose a closure message to her on facebook before blocking her so she couldnt reply. she doesnt have my number ect so she can't call and I will only unblock her when i don't care anymore or if i even ever want to.

 

I left it quite nicely i think just by saying obviously I cared but i knew she wasn't truly happy and I hope one day she finds out what will make her as happy as she dreams of being. I wished her well and the best for the future and said it was time for me to make myself happy and do the same. I feel ok about this message to her, I have wanted us back together a lot after we split up but apart from the first couple of days when it's still coming to terms with the break i have never asked her to come back or tried to change her mind. I've always said go and do what makes you happy and if this isn't it you arent only cheating yourself you would be cheating me too.

Posted

I was talking to a friend of mines not to long ago and she broke up with her bf of 2 years...she said she gathered everything she had of his that he gave to her AND she had a "Burning" ceremony where she literally burned everything...she said she felt better she was able to let go and finally move on.

 

Not to long ago she just had a baby and got married and she said before the baby was born she was feeling "Blessed" so she emailed him thanking him for everything that he did to her, she said she mentioned in the email that had she never gone through what she went through with him she would have never walked the path of sadness to then be picked up by happiness by her husband...

 

I don't know if her ex ever replied.

 

I would just box everything up as mentioned and just put it away hun...

Posted

I think it is a very bad idea to burn and destroy these things. I have all the cards, letters and love tokens from my 3 serious relationships in a box and would not dream of destroying them as they held very happy times for me. One day you can look at them without wanting to be back with the ex and just thank the good times you shared together.

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Posted

Thanks for all the replies everyone. its so good to hear what everyone has to say. I just want to be done with this part of my journey already. i'm going to take the majority of the advice I've gotten from my LS fam and my friends as well...for now im going to hide the box until all emotions cool off. Maybe few months down the road i can decide what to do with this darn box with a clear mindset.

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