ptp Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 One of the guys I go out with is very physically attractive. He 6 feet, blonde hair blue eyed, 6 pack...you get the picture. He usually garners a lot of attention from the girls, to the point where anybody he is with will usually get ignored. We are all used to to this since he pretty much slept his way through college. I have also experienced this 1st hand, once we were both at the bar in a crowded club and a beautiful brunette came up to me and literally reached across my chest to shove her phone number into his shirt pocket. Now I am not usually trying to pick up women at the bar anyway, but it is kind of annoying when we do meet a group of women and everybody else is pretty much ignored.
SmileFace Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Get uglier friends. Sometimes it feels good to be the cream of the crop. Haha Anyway there isn't much room around this. However I am pretty sure he isn't eye candy to all women. You just have to try and get noticed. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Welcome to my life. I have routinely always been the "ugliest" of my friends from when I was young up until now. I don't bother meeting women anymore when I'm out with them; I just enjoy hanging out with the guys and expect nothing less. And the moment the focus stops being on the group and shifts outward to women, I usually just leave. Sometimes it's fun though to take the best looking one and turn him into the group's "show horse." That was a lot of fun in Vegas. We'd just walk around, and the moment we spotted a group, we'd yell, "Show horse, go!" and he'd scamper over to the group and bring them in. It works...without fail...every time... But you're right, it's definitely frustrating when you manage to start talking to a girl, and the moment a friend walks up and gives you a fresh beer, she shifts all her attention to him and practically forgets I am there. Such is life.
Author ptp Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Get uglier friends. Sometimes it feels good to be the cream of the crop. Haha Anyway there isn't much room around this. However I am pretty sure he isn't eye candy to all women. No not all women, only those who don't have a vision impairment. You just have to try and get noticed.I tried the whole shiny shirt, unbuttoned, chest hair sticking out with gold chain. Surprisingly it didn't have the desired affect. 1
SmileFace Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I tried the whole shiny shirt, unbuttoned, chest hair sticking out with gold chain. Surprisingly it didn't have the desired affect. That sounds gross and gold chains are unattractive. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 One of the guys I go out with is very physically attractive. He 6 feet, blonde hair blue eyed, 6 pack...you get the picture. He usually garners a lot of attention from the girls, to the point where anybody he is with will usually get ignored. We are all used to to this since he pretty much slept his way through college. I have also experienced this 1st hand, once we were both at the bar in a crowded club and a beautiful brunette came up to me and literally reached across my chest to shove her phone number into his shirt pocket. Now I am not usually trying to pick up women at the bar anyway, but it is kind of annoying when we do meet a group of women and everybody else is pretty much ignored. You have to get your good looking friend to settle down with a great girl....then when you go out with him he can be the wing telling the girls the reasons they should look your way to go a bit deeper than first impressions......my son does it now, he is the chick magnet on boys nights with mates who a girl should give more than a once over....i will tell you what i tell my son though when he checks himself out in reflective surfaces before he goes out.....you cant stop the aging process dorian gray....looks arent everything.....then he tells me i should go on a date..i sock him one ...typical friday...i refuse to believe that every woman will go for looks before they get to know someone so hang in there....and try to match your dorian gray friend up....deb
SJC2008 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Sooner or later it will get you laid. My friend go my other friend laid a couple of times. I don't get to hang out with them that much due to my sched lol
Els Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Well, this is what happens in the bar scene IMO. It happens to everyone who goes to a bar with friends of the same sex, to hook up - very bad way to meet people of the opposite sex, unless you ARE 'that' friend. Either go girl-hunting in bars with other friends, or consider your time in the bar to be 'guy time' and look for girls in other places. If you're not looking for attention, and the friend is nice and modest about it, it can actually be a good laugh.
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 i refuse to believe that every woman will go for looks before they get to know someone... Surface trait theory...
todreaminblue Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Surface trait theory... Surface equals shallow... like going to a beach and getting your feet wet instead of body surfing.......i will continue to hope that theory will die a sudden death and and there are women surfing out there for more than that....I already know that some men follow that theory too ...... again I hope the dating scene today this theory has a minority following...I follow the theory of never judge a book by its cover....read the intro...give it a chance for a few pages.....not my cup of tea....then pass it on to someone who would enjoy it..a theory with more than three words..I love book club..deb
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) Surface equals shallow... like going to a beach and getting your feet wet instead of body surfing.......i will continue to hope that theory will die a sudden death and and there are women surfing out there for more than that....I already know that some men follow that theory too ...... again I hope the dating scene today this theory has a minority following...I follow the theory of never judge a book by its cover....read the intro...give it a chance for a few pages.....not my cup of tea....then pass it on to someone who would enjoy it..a theory with more than three words..I love book club..deb Unfortunately, that "theory" I came up with explains basic human behavior and is based in logic...it's not really something you follow, but something you do. The only way to avoid it is clinical blindness. You don't necessarily judge a book by it's cover, but you decide based on its cover whether to even pick it up at all to leaf through the intro. EDIT: Clinically blind people fall into this theory too. Just thought of the reasoning whilst in the shower. Edited July 20, 2012 by USMCHokie 2
todreaminblue Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Unfortunately, that "theory" I came up with explains basic human behavior and is based in logic...it's not really something you follow, but something you do. The only way to avoid it is clinical blindness. You don't necessarily judge a book by it's cover, but you decide based on its cover whether to even pick it up at all to leaf through the intro. I don't know about clinical blindness or if my vision is 10/20 .....but i dont window shop for books.....i have fave authors who i follow with a passion .....i research fitness books before i go pick them up..and add them to my collection of books in alphabetical order...i am not a fan of shopping centres i have lists and i speed around and get the hell out of there....so its probably why i don't like dating....i dont window shop or buy a random book...im the flash shopper....so logic says i am not logical and suffer from clinical blindness from not following normal human behaviour.... cool.....is there a cure yet......wouldnt want to be different forever....deb
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I don't know about clinical blindness or if my vision is 10/20 .....but i dont window shop for books.....i have fave authors who i follow with a passion .....i research fitness books before i go pick them up..and add them to my collection of books in alphabetical order...i am not a fan of shopping centres i have lists and i speed around and get the hell out of there....so its probably why i don't like dating....i dont window shop or buy a random book...im the flash shopper....so logic says i am not logical and suffer from clinical blindness from not following normal human behaviour.... cool.....is there a cure yet......wouldnt want to be different forever....deb Yea, bolded above is all surface trait theory. If we keep working with this analogy, this is no different from identifying and being drawn to certain surface traits, which are simply those traits which appear on a person's surface that have attracted you and would intrigue you to get to know someone's deeper personality traits. Just as you have preferences for books (e.g., particular authors, genres, and even express lists), people will have preferences for people. These surface preferences include things such as physical appearance, age, height, facial expressions, demeanor, and very basic expressed personality traits. Of course, each person will factor in different traits with different emphasis and weight into their individual process, but at the end of the day, we all rely in some degree on surface traits to decide whether to even pick up the book. You are no different from the rest. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 80% women are sleeping with 20% guys like ur blue eyed blond hair 6'0 friend. The girl who commented to be more aggressive has no club what she is talking about. she is a girl who is good looking and doesnt need a personality nor confidence to get a date. im pretty sure the attractive guy friend u have has a weakness. there are many good looking guys who are still virgins. They are all over the pua websites like rsdnation and naturalgame . Read the book art of seduction and see if u can try to bring some charisma in ur personality. Never listen to any advice from women. What women say they want and the type of guys they choose are two completely different things. Majority of the women have dated aholes vs nice guys. In order for u to get a date, be ahole. Women will say dont be ahole but if u ask them if they ever dated one all of them will say yes. Look at the success rate of ahole vs nice guy on dates. Be an ahole and add some charisma to ur swag to get the girl. I would consider most of this post absurd ridiculousness, but it did pique a potentially revelational thought regarding the whole "confidence" bit... When a girl advises a guy to just "be more confident and approach women," is that simply enabling women to sit back and let the men shower them with attention? And it would make sense that the more attractive ones would have greater interest in propogating this advice, as they would be at the top of the food chain getting all the attention with little to no effort. Hmmm, it would certainly make for an easy day... 1
todreaminblue Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Yea, bolded above is all surface trait theory. If we keep working with this analogy, this is no different from identifying and being drawn to certain surface traits, which are simply those traits which appear on a person's surface that have attracted you and would intrigue you to get to know someone's deeper personality traits. Just as you have preferences for books (e.g., particular authors, genres, and even express lists), people will have preferences for people. These surface preferences include things such as physical appearance, age, height, facial expressions, demeanor, and very basic expressed personality traits. Of course, each person will factor in different traits with different emphasis and weight into their individual process, but at the end of the day, we all rely in some degree on surface traits to decide whether to even pick up the book. You are no different from the rest. There's a certain part of me that wants to stay in denial honestly....I would like to believe that I dont pick people from a surface view but seeing I have only dated twice outside of friendship.......i am probably not even paddling let alone surfing....love analogies though...when i think of surface i am thinking physical appearance.....height size eye colour or if my girlfriends consider them good looking and tell me off for having no0 interest.........both men i have been intimate with are polar opposites apart from a common denominator.....fitness and activity which i guess could be surface even though i didnt think of it like that.....but one male was five foot blue eyed martial artist part of a break dancing crew the last relationship was a bouncer/slash south african 6 ft 2 body builder who couldnt dance for crap who played rugby union.....both were not big drinkers and both love life and helping kids.....thats why i thought i found them attractive..cant say they attracted me from the start i attracted them..they put up with my friend zone ..your post makes sense to me...i see your points........thanks for the food for thought i do see sense.....its scary when logic makes sense.....deb
yongyong Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Don't be like those pathetic disgusting mad shxt faced fat bitcxes who pulls their hot friend away. (because of this I try to be nice to them even though I want to vomit when I look at their faces and body) It's def better than hanging out with someone uglier than you. If you feel conscious, you can at least dress nicer and work out? everyone can have six packs and GQ style.
yongyong Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 never judge a book by its cover? HAHAHAHAAHA do you know how much money they spend on book cover design and its material? People Claims they don't judge people by their appearance because they get judged all the time. Surface equals shallow... like going to a beach and getting your feet wet instead of body surfing.......i will continue to hope that theory will die a sudden death and and there are women surfing out there for more than that....I already know that some men follow that theory too ...... again I hope the dating scene today this theory has a minority following...I follow the theory of never judge a book by its cover....read the intro...give it a chance for a few pages.....not my cup of tea....then pass it on to someone who would enjoy it..a theory with more than three words..I love book club..deb
eleanorhurting Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Whenever this happens I usually go for the "unhot" friend. I always assume the super hot one has a million women throwing themselves at him and he might have a big ego. 2
AD1980 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 im in the same boat my one friend has all these women who hit on him.. Women imo are attracted to a much smaller group of Men then Men are attracted to women
ThaWholigan Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I deal with the attractive friends by encouraging them . I stay calibrated to the level of enjoyment - and that way I have actually had interest from girls that have been in the vicinity. It's like a shift - I don't actually feel ignored........ Either that, or I'm at the same level of attractiveness as my friends ....
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 One of the guys I go out with is very physically attractive. He 6 feet, blonde hair blue eyed, 6 pack...you get the picture. He usually garners a lot of attention from the girls, to the point where anybody he is with will usually get ignored. We are all used to to this since he pretty much slept his way through college. I have also experienced this 1st hand, once we were both at the bar in a crowded club and a beautiful brunette came up to me and literally reached across my chest to shove her phone number into his shirt pocket. Now I am not usually trying to pick up women at the bar anyway, but it is kind of annoying when we do meet a group of women and everybody else is pretty much ignored. Lol dude. Didn't you just comment on my last thread and tell me looks don't matter at all or something? In any case, I feel you. Been there, have I ever. Sometimes when I used to go out, the girls we would meet would talk to every one of my friends except for me. Guess what? I don't hang out in those scenes with those people much anymore. I'm still friends with them, but I definitely wouldn't look for women through them. You need to hang out with with less shallow people or in less shallow scenes if all the women you guys hang with are ignoring you. Any woman who doesn't want to talk to you or seems uninterested in talking to you because you're not attractive is shallow. Find ones who aren't. Unless you would do this to a woman yourself. Then carry on and good luck... 1
Anela Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Welcome to my life. I have routinely always been the "ugliest" of my friends from when I was young up until now. I don't bother meeting women anymore when I'm out with them; I just enjoy hanging out with the guys and expect nothing less. And the moment the focus stops being on the group and shifts outward to women, I usually just leave. Sometimes it's fun though to take the best looking one and turn him into the group's "show horse." That was a lot of fun in Vegas. We'd just walk around, and the moment we spotted a group, we'd yell, "Show horse, go!" and he'd scamper over to the group and bring them in. It works...without fail...every time... But you're right, it's definitely frustrating when you manage to start talking to a girl, and the moment a friend walks up and gives you a fresh beer, she shifts all her attention to him and practically forgets I am there. Such is life. If I hadn't seen a comment in another thread from you yesterday, I would wonder why you were still single. If I were younger, I would probably be interested in you - and not because of your abs. I would consider most of this post absurd ridiculousness, but it did pique a potentially revelational thought regarding the whole "confidence" bit... When a girl advises a guy to just "be more confident and approach women," is that simply enabling women to sit back and let the men shower them with attention? And it would make sense that the more attractive ones would have greater interest in propogating this advice, as they would be at the top of the food chain getting all the attention with little to no effort. Hmmm, it would certainly make for an easy day... That isn't why I say it. I know that my holding back/lack of confidence has hurt me in ways that I won't go into right now.
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 If I hadn't seen a comment in another thread from you yesterday, I would wonder why you were still single. It was my voice, wasn't it... If I were younger, I would probably be interested in you - and not because of your abs. Hahah, thanks... The mythical "abs" are part of who I am...just not everything...I hope... That isn't why I say it. I know that my holding back/lack of confidence has hurt me in ways that I won't go into right now. I was just thinking out loud...I wouldn't consider it as strongly as I do surface trait theory...
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Sometimes it's fun though to take the best looking one and turn him into the group's "show horse." That was a lot of fun in Vegas. We'd just walk around, and the moment we spotted a group, we'd yell, "Show horse, go!" and he'd scamper over to the group and bring them in. It works...without fail...every time... To be perfectly blunt... If you are an Asian dude hanging with a crowd of good looking white dudes, it's gonna be tough. Especially if it's a crowd that does stuff like that. I mean, if you're a more sensitive, nice guy, and don't stand out lookswise, and you're hanging with guys who are always doing the clubs or Wet Repbulic and Bellagio, you're kind of asking for it. Those are rough scenes. Of course, I'm doing a lot of assuming here.
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