4givrnt4gtr Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Ive been having an ongoing issue for a while and Im not sure why it happens, and worse of all, how its going to affect my relationships. So as far as I remember Ive been a sickly person. Headaches, stomachahes, knee pains, infections, the works. THere are times Im fine physically, but inevitably, after a few months something comes up. I have also notice the my ailments get worse when Im in a relationship. I may have long stretches of health when Im single, so I start going out, dating and as soon as I start a relationship, my health starts acting up. I usually start getting nauseous, or get infections, or, like what happened in my last relationship, I started birth control (which I try to avoid because my stomach hates it and its just not good), and three months later I was hospitalized and had my gallbladder removed. Its terrible. I am starting to wonder if I get so anxious in a relationship that I get physically sick. The worst part of it is that at this point I am so ashamed of my sickly body that I have started hiding when Im sick and try to continue on with whatever Im supposed to do, even though I feel like death. I am so embarrassed and afraid that my current SO may get tired of hearing me say Im sick, and Im also sick of being sick, of not being able to enjoy my relationship. My concern though, is whether I should or shouldn't let my SO know when Im ill....I was looking online and when someone posted that their SO is sick, the general consent was "leave them, they are broken, they are useless, losers etc". So....what shall I do? Keep it to myself when i feel ill so Im not seen as broken and a loser? let him know? ughh I'm so nervous he will judge me :/
Negative Nancy Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) I was looking online and when someone posted that their SO is sick, the general consent was "leave them, they are broken, they are useless, losers etc". So....what shall I do? Keep it to myself when i feel ill so Im not seen as broken and a loser? let him know? ughh I'm so nervous he will judge me :/ these are modern times for you, don't expect any man to stick around or put up with you when you are not the smiling, made-up doll. problems send men running faster than Jesse Owens, so your best bet would be not to even bother with men, for in the end they are all the same and will leave you for someone a) younger b) prettier c) someone with less problems Edited July 20, 2012 by Negative Nancy
Chunky Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I've always thought honesty is the best policy. My girlfriend gets sick often and I haven't left her. She's an amazing woman who is caring and giving. If he can't doesn't want you at your worst then he doesn't deserve you at your best.
ascendotum Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 OP - I agree with chunky, but it really helps a lot if you have an understanding partner. It would also help if you could get a name for your condition, then people tend to take you more seriously and less inclined to consider it some pyschosomatic disorder. Do your best to find a good wholistic or chronic fatigue type specialist medico or naturopath and try get to an answer (and remedy) to your symptoms. Stress of a relationship proabably aggravates your health condition. Make sure you get to spend time on your own relaxing. NN - I've found over the years that when it comes to chronic type illnesses that men are prepared to overlook it more than women, when it comes to dating. A woman would Next a man for such confession from him in the early dating phase, more so than the other way around imo.
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