Esp0125 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Ok Any help on this subject would be amazing. I am a 32 year old man who is a few months divorced but the marriage was over for a long time. So I have started doing the whole online dating thing, I went on quite a few 1st dates ya know feeling myself out again as I was with my wife a little over 8 years. After I dated for a bit I really found someone that I like we started talking about a week ago. We talked the first time for about an hour and 20 mins and set up a date for 2 days later. Most online dates I guess do drinks but she agreed to dinner, now the first time we spoke on the phone I did a lot of listening someone it came up that she is a very old fashioned person and did not kiss on the first, second and then with a laugh she thew in 3rd date for that matter. So we went to dinner and then I took her down by the boardwalk and we just walked and talked. We had a lot of laughs and the conversation was no where near forced. When we first talked she said she has gone on first dates online and nicely said no to anyone who asked her on a 2nd... So at the end of the date I gave her a kiss on the cheek and asked her if I can see her again, she said yes so I made a joke being the first one and really made her laugh. So last night we go out to dinner it was like 2.5 hours I know she wakes up very early for work so once again no lack of conversation, laughing smiling the whole time we talked about what we were looking for in a relationship, conversation was really awesome. Little background on her she was divorced 5 years ago due to her ex cheating on her after 9 years of marriage. Then after a 2 year relationship she got engaged and had to break it off because of the fact her fiance was from the things she said very mean and he had a very bad gambling problem which he borrowed money from her and it was bad. So her guard is 100% up which I am okay with I have patience. So last night she was telling me about a movie she wanted to see but it wasn't in the movie theater anymore. So today I called around and I found a place that has it like 35 mins away so I text her I found a place she made sure she texted me how sweet that was the whole 9... We text back and fourth everyday since we started talking and I think we have talked even if for a few mins every day. I dont want her to think I am not into her for not going in for a kiss as of yet I just remember the things we talked about the first time and I want to respect that... I havent even tried to hold her hand or anything but she knows I like her because of certain things I say but you can tell she is very guarded, she has a really good time for what I can see when we go out. She even says her friends say she is guarded. Well we are going to go out this weekend for our 3rd date and since its been a while since I actually can see myself dating another person since my wife I wanted to get anyones opinion on maybe how to play this one. I mean she obviously must feel the chemistry as I dont think she would make a 3rd date in 10 days with me right??? Its just been so long since I have been dating I almost forgot what its like. We both agree we dont play games for example I told her straight out I dont play that hard to get bullsh*t if I like someone I ask them if I can see them again and she agreed. Well please let me know what everyone thinks. Thanks a lot
Author Esp0125 Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 What does that mean... I have been respecting her wishes and she texts me during the day without me texting first she sends me cute text like good morning sunshine and calls me why do you just say enjoy your friendship? That was very vague. I posted this because I wanted some insight and that was your response.
Silly_Girl Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 By not showing that you have a non-romantic interest in her you risk her only *ever* viewing you as a friend. It can happen easily. I know you don't want to spook her but I think you need to make some gentle moves before you lose your chance.
carhill Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 OP, it's pretty simple. If you make her wet, you'll do nothing wrong, at least not for awhile anyway. If not, you'll never do anything right, relevant to romance. Some simple tips: 1. Don't text and only call her to arrange a date. Do your 'chatting' while on dates, mixed with clear flirting. 2. Kiss her when you feel like kissing her. Touch her (politely, not grope her) when you feel like it. Her response well tell you whether you're getting her wet or not. Sorry for the crudity but that's pretty much it in this realm. Trust me, old fashioned women (I was raised by one) are not prudish. Reserved, sure; polite, sure. Demure, perhaps. They still kiss and still love the touch and physical presence of a man. They just don't bang genitals on the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date. Otherwise, as Algermas said, enjoy your friendship. The way things are going right now, it sounds like a dry (no pun intended) hole. 1
Negative Nancy Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Enjoy your friendship. OP, it's pretty simple. If you make her wet, you'll do nothing wrong, at least not for awhile anyway. If not, you'll never do anything right, relevant to romance. carhill, stop being so graphic. (It's true, though )
carhill Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I remember the phrase because it was so markedly and directly used by a woman in a recent thread about whether or not to give a guy a chance. She said, paraphrasing, 'well, he doesn't make me wet right now but I wonder if I should give it time. I need to feel that wet to want to continue dating him'. I went and then, yup, she's just saying it as it is And, for the OP, that particular woman struck me in her posting style as somewhat 'old-fashioned'.
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