I feel like I have destroyed everything...

[Cherry21]

The month we broke up, I begged and pleaded. Then 2 weeks ago we had a very intimate moment (we had sex) and from there he affirmed he has lost all feelings for me after 3 years of dating. He tried his best to explain and after that I frustrated him for being bipolar about being friends and wanting to be together again. I texted him a lot. He told me he didn't want me to stop, but at this point I think he was saying that to be nice. From there I didn't here from him for 3 days. I assumed he was angry at me and ignoring me, so (for 1 day and a half, the other 2 1/2 I stopped.)I sent lengthy texts saying I'm doing better, I apologize, etc. At some points I even become frustrd. For the next 2 days I stop. Turns out his phone has been glitching and he had trouble receiving messages. He suddenly received them all at once: 70 messages.

 

He then lets me know. I apologized and told him I thought he was ignoring me. He says he is. I then ask why, and then my phone starts glitching and calls him. I tried to stop it, but I wouldn't let me. He then texts and tells me to leave him alone, he doesn't want to talk to me, and that this has gone far enough.

 

I explained to him what happened and that I miss my friend, honestly and truly. He says "if you want me to talk to you, you need to chill. I'm going to bed, I might text you tomorrow." When he does talk to me (half the day was gone by then) he told me not to feel bad and that I should leave him alone. When I asked how long he says "For a few days or until I get home." It was late when this happened so us talking late was a no, especially since I was driving..

 

At this point I feel like I've burned any bridges of us getting back together. I would like to start as friends and work up to it at least..I miss him and I feel selfish, stupid, embarrassed, crazy and desperate. I feel really used up and dry like I know now that nothing I say or do will bring us back together. But I just want us to talk like old times..I become so sad when I don't hear from him and I think I'm starting to base my life around my cell phone..I cry when I don't see anything so I avoid my phone..when I do, I feel so happy..

 

I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I can't keep NC to save my life..help?

Edited July 18, 2012 by Cherry21

[leoc1973]

Well cherry I know how hard it is especially at first. So here is what I did and it really helped.

 

I know that leaving someone alone is the only way to really get them back. Right now he feels like he can't breathe and you are smothering him. He also knows that right now he can have you back any time he wants. So if you put those 2 things together what do you get? You get a guy that is feeling smothered and has no fear of losing you so he can take his sweet time to decide what he wants to do with you.

 

OK so here is a little trick I played with my own brain. I went NC and while I was doing No contact I told myself that this is the way to get her back and she would definitely be back if I did. I thought of it as she was just going on a trip or away and I just couldn't see her at the moment. I had myself convinced that she would without a doubt want me back again and it made it a lot easier. At least for that initial period where its really hard on you.

 

I really feel half the problem why its so hard to do this is because we obsess about them. We look at our phone a million times a day and wait for their call. Just tell yourself that he can't call you right now(he's in prison or on vacation or whatever) and leave your phone alone.

 

As a man I broke up with a girl before and she did all the things you are doing and it just made me not wanna talk to her more and more. Then one day the calls stopped. She had enough. A few days went by and I started to miss her and then a few more and I figured she met someone else. Then I started freaking out and feeling like I lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. If you need something to pass the time go on here and read a million stories and you will learn that the only way to get someone back is really to let them go. I know its a cliche but its so true.

 

But for now until that initial pain goes away just tell yourself "he will be back"

 

Oh and that girl that I am talking about really did meet someone else and told me to go to hell when I tried to get her back and ya know what? Good for her for telling me where to go!

[klowzure]

oops intended to make a new post

Edited July 18, 2012 by klowzure

[Cherry21]

Well cherry I know how hard it is especially at first. So here is what I did and it really helped.

 

I know that leaving someone alone is the only way to really get them back. Right now he feels like he can't breathe and you are smothering him. He also knows that right now he can have you back any time he wants. So if you put those 2 things together what do you get? You get a guy that is feeling smothered and has no fear of losing you so he can take his sweet time to decide what he wants to do with you.

 

OK so here is a little trick I played with my own brain. I went NC and while I was doing No contact I told myself that this is the way to get her back and she would definitely be back if I did. I thought of it as she was just going on a trip or away and I just couldn't see her at the moment. I had myself convinced that she would without a doubt want me back again and it made it a lot easier. At least for that initial period where its really hard on you.

 

I really feel half the problem why its so hard to do this is because we obsess about them. We look at our phone a million times a day and wait for their call. Just tell yourself that he can't call you right now(he's in prison or on vacation or whatever) and leave your phone alone.

 

As a man I broke up with a girl before and she did all the things you are doing and it just made me not wanna talk to her more and more. Then one day the calls stopped. She had enough. A few days went by and I started to miss her and then a few more and I figured she met someone else. Then I started freaking out and feeling like I lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. If you need something to pass the time go on here and read a million stories and you will learn that the only way to get someone back is really to let them go. I know its a cliche but its so true.

 

But for now until that initial pain goes away just tell yourself "he will be back"

 

Oh and that girl that I am talking about really did meet someone else and told me to go to hell when I tried to get her back and ya know what? Good for her for telling me where to go!

 

 

Thank you for responding to my post. I keep thinking that if he doesn't respond to me then he'll easily forget about me..but he assured me that "one does not simply forget about their ex" and that he does miss me but he's tries his best not to think about stuff like that. He told me all of that before the messages though. I'm probably deemed very crazy and by him and our somewhat mutual friends. I also have let him know that I still love him and that I know that he won't come back to me but I do miss him a lot and our friendship. Many friends have told me to let him go, but I can't seem to, but I'll try again and hopefully try to give him some space..maybe I'll read a book and then vow not to contact him until I finish or something..I still hope for us to get back together...he told me that no matter how hard I hope it still isn't going to happen..but I still hope anyway..