who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 It's been months since I've been on here. I was on here constantly a few months after the breakup (February/March) and thought I would never get over her. Well, I'm still here and still not fully over her, but I have a new lease on life. She was my first love and I thought I couldn't get on without her, I still feel that way sometimes, but I wanted to let everyone know it does get better, but don't focus on the pain too much (that includes being on this forum unfortunately). I was sulking in the pain a lot in school, but with summer I have moved to a new city with my brother exploring the city myself and just being around new people. I won't lie, the pain is still strong. I question myself a lot lately. I broke NC after 10 weeks and it only made it worse, but it was necessary I think. It led me to believe that she wasn't the person I thought she was, which allowed me to realize there is nothing to go back to. Now all I have is an internal struggle. I'm trying to find the new me. I let go of me during the relationship and post breakup, but I have so much clarity now. A little too much in the sense that I get overwhelmed with things I want to do! (that's better than feeling sorry for yourself though). Advice for those who are in the weeks/months post breakup. I realized that talking to friends TOO much about this made them resent me. It's good to vent, do it on here where people don't judge you, but also don't burden your friends with your pain. It makes you look weak. It's ok to a certain extent, but then it gets to be annoying. I've let go of friendships and found new ones as a result of the breakup. If that is good or bad only time will tell. Anyways, I've realized that I have much to say in terms of emotions. I want to let her know, I want to let my friends know, but sometimes its best to keep it inside or not to share it. I've found a good way of coping with this is by writing lyrics or poems. It's a healthy way to get your emotions out and if you're a musician it can come naturally and it just feels good to make your thoughts known. I'm a music producer and after my first breakup ever, I feel like I'm filled with a whole new sense of emotion. Feelings that i can finally use produtively. This emotion motivates me to do things I couldn't before I had these. I know it's easy to just sulk in your pain, but what people forget is that it's also a great motivator. I'm a very creative person and emotion is a heavy part of that, so for any of you out there wanting to get their emotions and feelings out in a healthy manner i suggest writing lyrics/poems. Once I'm finished with a full song with lyrics/instrumental...maybe I'll post it here. Honestly Ive found it as a good medium to share and express your thoughts without seeming selfish or appearing selfish. For example, everyone's heard Gotye's "Somebody I Used To Know" track and you see how unbelievably successful it became. All I'm saying is if you still have pain locked up inside, don't point it towards anyone or your ex. Use it as a motivator, use it to your own advantage. Pain can sometimes be the most powerful thing. Just my 2 cents. Hope this helps
Gulf-Delta Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I'm a musician too. 99.9% of everything I've recorded (A LOT) is instrumental, but I use my titles to reflect my emotion. Pre-breakup titles: Arcadia, Island, Golden Heights, Thunder Post- Breakup Titles: Who Would Have Known, I Hate You, Your Tears, Painful, False Hope More recently, I've started singing (not well though lol) covers that reflect my emotions...Possession by Sarah McLaughlin, I Try by Macy Gray, Angie by the Rolling Stones, The Dance by Prince... Sometime, when I upload music to my youtube channel, I worry she'll see some of these songs and get pissy about it...but she knows me, and I don't care if they bother her.
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Sometime, when I upload music to my youtube channel, I worry she'll see some of these songs and get pissy about it...but she knows me, and I don't care if they bother her. Awesome! I'm glad to hear that you make music as well. It's a good stress reliever. One thing I'm worried about is that I'll be reveling in the past if I write lyrics/music about how I feel. Also don't worry about her seeing it. Don't hide who you really are or how you really feel. You're just expressing yourself. One thing I didn't like about my ex and it was sort of the reason how we broke up was because she wasn't expressive about her feelings at all and she kept them inside. I'm the total opposite. I love expressing how I feel through words, music, design, videos or other creative outlets.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Awesome! I'm glad to hear that you make music as well. It's a good stress reliever. One thing I'm worried about is that I'll be reveling in the past if I write lyrics/music about how I feel. Also don't worry about her seeing it. Don't hide who you really are or how you really feel. You're just expressing yourself. One thing I didn't like about my ex and it was sort of the reason how we broke up was because she wasn't expressive about her feelings at all and she kept them inside. I'm the total opposite. I love expressing how I feel through words, music, design, videos or other creative outlets. Well, she knew I was the artistic type, that's why we fell for each other. Even if she saw it, you know, maybe it'd be okay for her to see the pain she caused...sounds weird, but you know what I mean...
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Well, she knew I was the artistic type, that's why we fell for each other. Even if she saw it, you know, maybe it'd be okay for her to see the pain she caused...sounds weird, but you know what I mean... I know what you mean. I kind of want her to see this, but this is not for her. I realized that whenever I did something to try to prove my worth to her I was just lessening myself. Do it for you and she'll see you for you. I realized I was codependent in my relationship and now I need to become independent again. I don't want revenge, I've tried it. It can only backfire. I just want to express my feelings in a healthy manner. The best way is through music without seeming narcissistic.
Acrobaticdealer Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Hey we should start a heartbreak band Totally agree with your post. Creativity is key to getting out of the slump. I'm booked into a recording studio on Sunday to start work on an entire album about the breakup haha. Feeling these feelings is an unfortunate way of being creative but still essential. Keep it up guys
Feelin Frisky Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I play but don't have song ideas worth a damn. I envy those who can channel feelings into songs well. Playing guitar is a release though.
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Hey we should start a heartbreak band Totally agree with your post. Creativity is key to getting out of the slump. I'm booked into a recording studio on Sunday to start work on an entire album about the breakup haha. Feeling these feelings is an unfortunate way of being creative but still essential. Keep it up guys Awesome man! Yea, it is an unfortunate way to be creative, but I think some people's best work comes from when they are at their extremes. I'm inspired by emotional music and I never thought about writing lyrics until I felt this way. I'm starting on my next album that will be about the breakup/finding myself. What kind of music do you write/produce? I'd be down for collaborating
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I play but don't have song ideas worth a damn. I envy those who can channel feelings into songs well. Playing guitar is a release though. Keep at it man. I'm no singer by any means, but I've started to write lyrics. I have friends who sing and I produce, so I send them the lyrics and before you know it you have a song We make our own happiness though, yours is through guitar. Damn, I'm so envious. I wish I knew and had the time to learn, but I don't.
Coffee20 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 wow so many artist, glad to hear about it Myself I play the piano, but I didn't compose. I stopped playing after I broke up with my first bf, now I realized that it was something I really missed, so I decided to take some classes to learn how to play jazz and other styles and it's fun!
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 wow so many artist, glad to hear about it Myself I play the piano, but I didn't compose. I stopped playing after I broke up with my first bf, now I realized that it was something I really missed, so I decided to take some classes to learn how to play jazz and other styles and it's fun! Great! I used to hate doing things I used to love before I dated my ex after the breakup. Sometimes it just takes a little time or inspiration NEVER put off things that make you - YOU. I left everything that made me, me because she was more than enough to make me happy, now I see my fault. It's always great to revisit past activities and such.
Acrobaticdealer Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Awesome man! Yea, it is an unfortunate way to be creative, but I think some people's best work comes from when they are at their extremes. I'm inspired by emotional music and I never thought about writing lyrics until I felt this way. I'm starting on my next album that will be about the breakup/finding myself. What kind of music do you write/produce? I'd be down for collaborating Check out Ryan Adams. Not Bryan Adams...RYAN ADAMS That mans had his heart broken many times and all his music is excruciatingly beautiful in a bittersweet/lost love kind of way. That's the kind of stuff I'm doing. How about yourself. I got a tattoo today aswell. Think I've gone a little bit insane tbh haha
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Check out Ryan Adams. Not Bryan Adams...RYAN ADAMS That mans had his heart broken many times and all his music is excruciatingly beautiful in a bittersweet/lost love kind of way. That's the kind of stuff I'm doing. How about yourself. I got a tattoo today aswell. Think I've gone a little bit insane tbh haha Haha nice man! I produce a lot of alternative rock/electronic music. One new song i'm working on is called "Colorblind" its about how this girl is emotionally colorblind (unable to understand what others feel) to me and the world and she'll never understand me. I wrote the lyrics to chorus so far and had my amazing friend perform it for me. Hope you enjoy I'm excited to get this finished! Colorblind by NIROSHAN on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free
hinatticus Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You guys gotta post your music.... I'd love to hear what you guys come up with during these hard times. Who knew- my friends are in a band. You gotta check em out if you're into heavy melodic stuff. They're not too heavy tho. They're called Intransformation and you can hear their stuff on reverbnation and dl from iTunes. My journeyman is the lead singer and he wrote a song about my situation. Also one of my best friends is the lead guitarist. They are really good. Check em out! Keep writing music fellas..
hinatticus Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Haha nice man! I produce a lot of alternative rock/electronic music. One new song i'm working on is called "Colorblind" its about how this girl is emotionally colorblind (unable to understand what others feel) to me and the world and she'll never understand me. I wrote the lyrics to chorus so far and had my amazing friend perform it for me. Hope you enjoy I'm excited to get this finished! Colorblind by NIROSHAN on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free I like that song! I wish I was a producer. Will there be guitars in that song? I'd add some nice melodic heavy stuff in there. Hehe. Maybe some strings too!
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I like that song! I wish I was a producer. Will there be guitars in that song? I'd add some nice melodic heavy stuff in there. Hehe. Maybe some strings too! Thanks for the suggestion. Checked out your friends' music. Love it. Not entirely my style, but I can dig the energy and melodies! Yea, this is a work in progress. Really trying to make this track big. Getting a rapper on the verses and having a big chorus with strings and possibly some guitars
hinatticus Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Sweet man. When this track is finished let me hear it. Pm if you want when it's done. I'm not big into rappers but I can dig a good song. I really feel heavy guitars in this song tho. Not the heavy metal type riffs, but more palm muting with ring outs. And maybe some basic drumming, nothing over the top. The vocalist is good IMO.
Author who_knew Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Sweet man. When this track is finished let me hear it. Pm if you want when it's done. I'm not big into rappers but I can dig a good song. I really feel heavy guitars in this song tho. Not the heavy metal type riffs, but more palm muting with ring outs. And maybe some basic drumming, nothing over the top. The vocalist is good IMO. Thanks again! I definitely will post it once it's done. The singer is amazing! You all should check out this song (produced/composed/written/performed) by him, I'm sure we can all relate Barely Hanging On by Martin Harp on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free
hinatticus Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Thanks again! I definitely will post it once it's done. The singer is amazing! You all should check out this song (produced/composed/written/performed) by him, I'm sure we can all relate Barely Hanging On by Martin Harp on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free That's a good song man. Love the chorus.
Author who_knew Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 That's a good song man. Love the chorus. Yea man. You should check out his other stuff.
hinatticus Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) How, 80's, Make a mess of me, Skepticism, your clone, Close your eyes..... Good sh*t! I haven't listened to them all but these are really good. If he could get a band and have real instruments with electro background, that would be huge! I like the melodies. Really good stuff man! Edit. I'm listening to "I want to know", love this.... Haven't you heard- great vocals. Edited July 20, 2012 by hinatticus
Author who_knew Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 How, 80's, Make a mess of me, Skepticism, your clone, Close your eyes..... Good sh*t! I haven't listened to them all but these are really good. If he could get a band and have real instruments with electro background, that would be huge! I like the melodies. Really good stuff man! Haha he does, unfortunately the other main singer/friend passed away recently. He's an amazing musician. One man band. If you want you should download my free EP that I released last year. It's very instrumental, but features vocals from this guy and more! Niroshan Amarasiriwardena | Graphic Designer, Music Producer, Cinematographer
hinatticus Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Haha he does, unfortunately the other main singer/friend passed away recently. He's an amazing musician. One man band. If you want you should download my free EP that I released last year. It's very instrumental, but features vocals from this guy and more! Niroshan Amarasiriwardena | Graphic Designer, Music Producer, Cinematographer Will do.. Sorry to hear about his friend passing away. I just subscribed to your YouTube channel. Hehe.
Recommended Posts