MrCastle Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Ok, so he meets them at work and through friends, so it's fine to exchange numbers. The girls making all the moves doesn't make any sense, unless he's known for being good in bed or something and the word spreads. I understand women not wanting guys who are needy, desperate and trying to suck up to them. But not calling a girl beautiful isn't going to make her want to give you a BJ. Let me put it another way, a woman receives much more inattention from men then she gets attention. At my job there are about 3-4 girls that I would like to sleep with. I haven't complimented any of them, given them validation, tried to boost their ego or shown that I want their attention, in essence I have shown that I don't care about them, and none of them have shown any interest in me. The whole not caring thing seem very passive. And of course women are passive. That is why I am trouble seeing how "not giving a damn" can actually work. The key is you have to show a certain level of interest, but that in the end, you could take it or leave it. If you show absolutely no interest, you're coming across as someone who doesn't like her at all. If you show too much too soon, well; we know how that story ends. The idea you want to portray is--Hey I'm a fun, quality guy with a lot going on. I enjoy your company and would like to keep seeing you but if you're not into me that's cool. I'm not saying be emotionally unavailable and/or abusive so she takes her pants off. But look at some of the famous guys that are known lady killers. Would George Clooney love to date a cute chick? Absolutely. Will he be a perfect gentlemen when they go out? Of course. Does he respect her? Definitely. Will he be sitting by the phone waiting for her call, or flip out if she flakes, or put all her body language signs and everything she says under a microscope to judge if she really likes him or not? No. Will he bend over backwards for her in the hopes of getting laid? No. He has a lot going on, and he has options. Granted he's famous, but the idea is the same.
somedude81 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 The key is you have to show a certain level of interest, but that in the end, you could take it or leave it. If you show absolutely no interest, you're coming across as someone who doesn't like her at all. If you show too much too soon, well; we know how that story ends. The idea you want to portray is--Hey I'm a fun, quality guy with a lot going on. I enjoy your company and would like to keep seeing you but if you're not into me that's cool. So then it's a bit like fishing. Fish aren't going to jump into your boat. You have to at least put your line in the water. Somehow you have to get the girl hooked on you and then be able to pull away if she starts playing games. But the most difficult part for many men, me included, is getting the girl hooked. I'm not saying be emotionally unavailable and/or abusive so she takes her pants off. But look at some of the famous guys that are known lady killers. Would George Clooney love to date a cute chick? Absolutely. Will he be a perfect gentlemen when they go out? Of course. Does he respect her? Definitely. Will he be sitting by the phone waiting for her call, or flip out if she flakes, or put all her body language signs and everything she says under a microscope to judge if she really likes him or not? No. Will he bend over backwards for her in the hopes of getting laid? No. He has a lot going on, and he has options. Granted he's famous, but the idea is the same. I don't think the man in the OP's example has very much in common with Clooney. He's almost described as the anti-Clooney.
MrCastle Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I don't think the man in the OP's example has very much in common with Clooney. He's almost described as the anti-Clooney. In terms of appearance and status, but the game is the same. Be charming, be funny, be interesting, be different than any other man she's met before, but also come across as indifferent when you need to. don't be needy, don't be outcome dependent. if she calls you, awesome, continue showing her a good time. if not, oh well, sometimes things don't work out, another girl will come along. The problem a lot of guys have on here is overthinking. "She sent me a text at 7:09pm I heard if a girl sends you a text anytime after 7pm she likes you is that true??? Maybe she only likes me as a friend? She used a smiley in the text so I think she likes me???" Or "I thought me and this girl had a great first date but I haven't heard back from her. What should I do? Should I send her a text telling her how I feel? Should I hand write a letter and put it in her mailbox???" Once you stop being outcome dependent, your dating life will improve. Be happy for the successes, but don't overthink the failures. Don't overthink period, just live your life with the belief that women will always be around.
monkey00 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 This whole thread is overcomplicating something so simple : People want what they can't have (or is difficult to attain), that's all it really is. As for the whole indifferent thing, it's just about not behaving desperate and having a life of your own. Anyone will immediately respect you more from that, not only women. Women do not like or are attracted to men they don't respect. Unless she is specifically looking for a doormat, then it's their prerogative. 2
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 In terms of appearance and status, but the game is the same. Be charming, be funny, be interesting, be different than any other man she's met before, but also come across as indifferent when you need to. don't be needy, don't be outcome dependent. if she calls you, awesome, continue showing her a good time. if not, oh well, sometimes things don't work out, another girl will come along. The problem a lot of guys have on here is overthinking. "She sent me a text at 7:09pm I heard if a girl sends you a text anytime after 7pm she likes you is that true??? Maybe she only likes me as a friend? She used a smiley in the text so I think she likes me???" Or "I thought me and this girl had a great first date but I haven't heard back from her. What should I do? Should I send her a text telling her how I feel? Should I hand write a letter and put it in her mailbox???" Once you stop being outcome dependent, your dating life will improve. Be happy for the successes, but don't overthink the failures. Don't overthink period, just live your life with the belief that women will always be around. This reminds me of a cartoon/comic I saw once. A guy is sitting in his chair with a phone on a table beside him. In the text bubble above his head he's thinking "Does she like me? I bet she doesn't like me. Why hasn't she called? Should I call? I'll call. No I shouldn't call. Why doesn't she like me?...." Beside him is his little dog with a bubble above his head. In the dog's thinking bubble is just a picture of the dog mounted behind a female bitch going at it. Dog has his eyes closed, not worrying, and just smiling.
MrCastle Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 This reminds me of a cartoon/comic I saw once. A guy is sitting in his chair with a phone on a table beside him. In the text bubble above his head he's thinking "Does she like me? I bet she doesn't like me. Why hasn't she called? Should I call? I'll call. No I shouldn't call. Why doesn't she like me?...." Beside him is his little dog with a bubble above his head. In the dog's thinking bubble is just a picture of the dog mounted behind a female bitch going at it. Dog has his eyes closed, not worrying, and just smiling. That's hilarious, and yes, to the previous poster, we are complicating things. What you said is pretty much it. When you have your own life, people will respect you and hence, be attracted to you.
USMCHokie Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 The problem a lot of guys have on here is overthinking. This is what LS will do to you, as it tends to promote analysis of dating and relationship situations, which naturally leads to overanalysis.
MrCastle Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 This is what LS will do to you, as it tends to promote analysis of dating and relationship situations, which naturally leads to overanalysis. Yeah that's true. It's fine on here as we break every little thing down, but some people think like this in real life instead of just living life not worrying about the details, just going with the flow.
mario_C Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Just forget it. I'll try dating/relationships again in 2023 when I'm 45. Maybe the 45 year old ladies won't be so into guy who don't care. I may as well tell the world I'm a virgin too. I've hid it from friends till now. Oldest one in the phoenix area. That sucks. Look, just be yourself and keep trying. Waiting until you're older, I can assure you, will not work. Having a thicker skin and more open mind will help, I can also assure you. The word we are looking for is Self-Actualization. Look it up. Memorize it. It is the one true path.
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