SmileFace Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Why? He can now get attractive women. Yes but before he was fat. This has nothing to do with the women - he changed. Why this concept so hard to grasp? This is why when people make a significant change, ie: weight lose, they go on a wild streak. People really need to humble themselves.
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 ...question... why does this bother you? Would you date a woman who was 100 lbs overweight? I'm guessing the answer is no. The fact that they'd give you a chance (not knowing whether you'd gain the weight back later or not) should be a positive thing. Congrats on losing the weight, BTW. Please know that it is very possible that the ladies are interested now for other reasons.... not just the fact you lost the weight. It shows some perseverence and dedication. So no need to slam them. You could maybe muster a little thankfulness(?) and gratitude (?). Because they didn't give me a chance. They strung me along for months dangling the sex carrot, not wanting me to talk to other women, keeping me in a friends without benefits situation while sleeping with an ex or just dropping me for someone they really wanted to date. Note I said women I had dated. Not women who simply turned me down. I know I was fat & I don't begrudge women who turned me down then saw I was in shape & were interested. That doesn't bother me. It's the one's who purposefully wasted my time & tried to use me I am speaking of. 1
DjinnAgain Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Back then, they didn't want me, and I still don't think they want me now. Impossible! No, it has been pretty constant... though I used to think I was incredibly ugly and was far more skeptical of it. I turned down a guy for a date as a young teen pretty harshly solely because I was just so sure that he was calling with his friends as a joke. I found out from someone else later that he cried.
RedRobin Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Note I said women I had dated. Not women who simply turned me down. I know I was fat & I don't begrudge women who turned me down then saw I was in shape & were interested. That doesn't bother me. Thanks for clarifying. It's the one's who purposefully wasted my time & tried to use me I am speaking of. I agree. There is no excuse for someone to be a jerk or treat you badly when you were heavier. 1
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I don't disagree, I just don't think he now has any business talking to formerly attractive people. I wouldn't go that far. I just find it incredibly ironic that our roles are reversed. And 50lbs ago I wasn't THAT fat for my age in the grand scheme of things. If they were genuine & stuck with me I sure wouldn't of broken up with them when I hit them 30's / 32's even if they gained some weight. But it's because they did in fact make it clear to me they were hot & knew they were hot that I wound up applying their own standards to them once things flip-flopped. To be honest i've realized these women do not have long term potential anyways because poor behaviors I used to put up with before are mostly deal breakers for me now.
Author WonderKid Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 I was a dumb kid who had no future, and I was falling for this girl in high school. I became her friend so that I can hope that one day I will have the confidence to ask her out, but she rejected me. We continued, or at least myself, continued to play the whole "friend" charade hoping that we will have a chance. But once again, she rejected me, claiming that she only sees me as a friend. I ran away from her for a very long time, not looking back, and not wanting to see her again. However, from time to time, I thought about her. I thought about what she was doing, how is she doing, and wondered if she missed me. Sometimes though, I thought of many things she said to me. Particularly about how she said I don't exude confidence around people, and that I'm too fat. You have no idea how hurt I was when I heard she said those things, how you thought that the supposed sweetest girl could have the nerve to say those things. Nevertheless, I tried to work on those during our absence. Fast forward to a couple years later, I'm at a better place. I graduated with a B.S., am going to graduate school, and have a good job. I saw her again, I told myself to resist, but I couldn't help it. We talked, and I bragged, hopping that she would be impressed. We exchanged numbers, I texted her asking her to meet up, and no answer. There, back then she didn't want me, and now she doesn't either. I guess no matter how hard I tried, I will never be good for her. I hate that I am twisted to wanting to keep going back to her, and I hate that I had to see her again. I guess I hadn't changed either since I couldn't get away from her. What a cruel way to have me played, but I guess that's life. Just leave her be and go for the others. You'll find someone who actually would like you.
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