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I love my long term partner but chemistry lacking!


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Posted

Ok, so I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible. I have been with my boyfriend almost 5 years (I am 22, he is 24). Up until April we were happily living together. Our sex life had been a bit shaky for a while, which we put down to (and I still to an extent do) my low self esteem - I didn't feel attractive so I started to avoid sex. I started a new job in January and met guy who I have a huge amount of sexual chemistry with. I went out with him a couple of times and eventually one night we slept together. I felt terrible and still do. I called it off with him and told my boyfriend I wanted a break, so we both moved out. During this break I started seeing the guy from work again from time to time. Then my ex slept with a girl and it knocked me for six. We had always intended it to be just a break so we recently got back together. My problem is this: I love my boyfriend, truely and wholeheartedly. I genuinely can see us together until we are old. I want his babies one day! I get him and he gets me. We have so much fun together, we never argue. He is good looking, attractive, a talented musician and going places. His attraction to me has not diminished. but mine for him has. Sex with the guy from work had this passion that isnt present in my relationship. It wasn't necessarily 'better', in fact my boyfriend knows much more how to make me feel good. The guy from work obviously sticks more to what he knows... But despite this when I see him I feel dizzy I want him so much, and I don't feel anything approaching that with my boyfriend. It's killing me because I so so so want to feel that way with him. I can't bear the thought of losing him, it makes me feel sick, but I don't know how to carry on when I feel this way about sex. To add, he is my first sexual partner. I feel horrible.

Posted

Healthy sex is an important part of a relationship but it's not the most important part...unless you plan on spending your life in the bedroom.

Posted
we never argue

 

 

This may sound strange, but this is usaully not a good thing.

 

You are two different people with different ideas and thoughts that are bound to conflict every once in a while.

 

Usually when there are no arguements or disagreements in a relationship it means someone is not being honest and who they truly are. This can cause a lack of chemistry felt for the person who is not being themselves.

 

Make sure your bf knows that it is ok to disagree with you and that you always want him to be honest with you and himself even if it may make you a little mad every once in a while.

Posted

He can learn how to show passion and how to take charge in the bedroom

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