Kathyy28 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 A little background on the relationship: I've been in a relationship with someone who I've started talking to since January. I recently broke up with him this past Wednesday. We generally had a good relationship, and a much healthier one compare to my last. We both fell in love very quickly which obviously make things harder for me right now. We have a long distance relationship while I'm in school in Florida, but I've been home two months now and will be leaving back to school next month. While I live in FL he usually flies out every month to visit me for the weekend. He works at the airport, so his benefits have definitely been very useful for us. What led to the break up: I have a problem with 2 of my boyfriend female friends. I'll refer to them as J and S. It isn't a jealousy thing, because he has a lot of very attractive female friends who he hangs, talks to on the phone and texts. The reason on why I dislike them is because they are very disrespectful towards me and my relationship with him. I trust my boyfriend with the fact that he would never cheat on me with them. But I have caught my boyfriend lying to me when it comes to them, and talking to them and hanging out with them behind my back. J and S don't know each other, so it's not a group hang out. A few months ago my boyfriend had told me that he doesn't mind that I hang out with my guy friends, but as long as I'm not hanging out with them alone at night. I saw where he was coming, and I agreed with him and we both agreed that we we both can hang out with our friends from the opposite sex but as long as it's in the day time. This past weekend I caught my boyfriend lying to me about his communication towards the two females. I could get into the story on why his lie affected me so much, but I just want to narrow it down to the fact that he had told me that J was out of the picture and I came to find out that when he was ignoring my calls was because he was on the other line with her. At first he told me that he was on the line with his dad, then he said his mom and at the end he admitted that he was talking to J. Also on Sunday he had told me he was staying at home and if not he was coming to my house for a BBQ, and after I didn't hear from him that night till after midnight, I came to find out that he was at S house. Again, I know he is not having an affair with neither one of them because J lives with her boyfriend and S just had a baby, although she doesn't live with the father of her baby, she is still trying to work things out with him. The fact that he lied to me about them really bugs me, and it makes it really hard for me to trust him. On Wednesday right before I broke up with him I had caught him in another "white lie" that had to do with S. His stories doesn't match up and whenever I catch him he gets frustrated, tells me another version of the story and makes me feel guilty by telling me that I don't believe him, or whatever he tells me. I told him that maybe if he tells me one version of a story and stick to it then I won't ever have a reason to question him. His mom was in the bathroom which is right next to his room, and he decided to raise his voice at me and punch the floor "he was sitting on the floor". He has never done that before, and I felt that he just did it to put on a show in front of his mom. I grew up in a household where neither one of my parents had yelled at each other or where violent. So the fact that he yelled at me and punched something made me really nervous and I started crying. After I took 10 deep breaths to cool down I got up and told him that I no longer want to be in a relationship where he feels the need to lie to me and where I feel very disrespected. His response was "Okay. Well I was going to apologize for yelling at you, but I guess there's no need for that since you just broke up with me." We both were in complete silence for over an hour until he brought me home. I was crying the whole way home and he never said a thing to me. Once he dropped me off he completely sped off. I wish I wasn't crying in front of him, but ever since I got the Implanon ( a type of birth control) inserted a few weeks back, I've been very emotional so I've been crying a good amount. I have not herd from him since Wednesday, and I'm not sure if I should bother calling him and work things out with him, or wait if he calls. I'm not sure if I over exaggerated by breaking up with him or not. My last break up my parents advice me to not call my ex because he was the one who broke up with me, and if he wanted me back he'll find me. This time that I was the one who broke up with my current but now ex, they tell me that I although I broke up with him I should not contact him because if he cares enough for me, he'll find me. My mom told me that if we do get back together, as long as I know he won't cheat on him then don't ever questioned him about who he's been with, or where, or when. Because I'll probably won't get an answer that I'll be happy with. I realize that my ex only lies to me to avoid any arguments. But I feel that if I found out that he lies to me, it makes the argument even worse cause trust gets broken. Advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you all.
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