Update: Ex agreed to be friends but not interested in a relationship

[BrokenAnna]

Previous Thread

 

I posted a thread last week about wanting to win my ex's heart back after breaking up with him due to a misunderstanding. Yesterday he came to visit his parents for his birthday which I thought would have been the perfect opportunity to make amends and perhaps reconcile. Unfortunately it did not pan out as I have hoped but it didn't go terribly wrong either...except for almost fainting when he walked through the door.

 

We had a long deep conversation about the past and I asked him if there was any possibility to give us a second chance. He said we could start out as friends and see how things go which I eagerly accepted. However after adding him on facebook this morning I noticed a lot of pics of him with stunning girls by his side and I can't help to think that they are either after him. He looks very happy and content with his life

 

I love this man with all my heart and it's extremely hard to let go as we've spent 12 wonderful years together.

 

Any advice on how to proceed? Would seducing him be detrimental?

[january2011]

Any advice on how to proceed? Would seducing him be detrimental?

 

Yes, you tried it before and it didn't work. Besides, you've only just this morning agreed to be friends. He's likely to be very turned off if you try to throw yourself at him and he may even withdraw his offer of friendship.

 

Remember, he still knows who you are and what you have to offer. The memory of the circumstances that lead to your break up are still fresh in his mind. The experience was so dramatic/traumatic for him that he had to move away and start a new life. A very happy and content one, it seems. He's not really going to want to give that up and open himself up to being hurt again by you.

 

I know you are desperate for any sign that there could be a second chance, but I suspect that he offered friendship to placate you. He might be hoping that by making this concession, you will leave him alone.

 

I think that you really need to take a step back and respect his wishes if he wants to live his life without you in it. The hand of friendship is a generous offer. However, only time will tell whether or not he actually wants to spend any time with you or if you are just "friends" in name only.

[BrokenAnna]

Yes, you tried it before and it didn't work. Besides, you've only just this morning agreed to be friends. He's likely to be very turned off if you try to throw yourself at him and he may even withdraw his offer of friendship.

 

Remember, he still knows who you are and what you have to offer. The memory of the circumstances that lead to your break up are still fresh in his mind. The experience was so dramatic/traumatic for him that he had to move away and start a new life. A very happy and content one, it seems. He's not really going to want to give that up and open himself up to being hurt again by you.

 

I know you are desperate for any sign that there could be a second chance, but I suspect that he offered friendship to placate you. He might be hoping that by making this concession, you will leave him alone.

 

I think that you really need to take a step back and respect his wishes if he wants to live his life without you in it. The hand of friendship is a generous offer. However, only time will tell whether or not he actually wants to spend any time with you or if you are just "friends" in name only.

 

As much as I hate to admit it, I know you are right.

 

I guess the friendship will be on his terms and that I should respect his boundaries. It's just so confusing for me as I don't know how much contact to give or whether it is a good idea to initiate a conversation.

[january2011]

As much as I hate to admit it, I know you are right.

 

I guess the friendship will be on his terms and that I should respect his boundaries. It's just so confusing for me as I don't know how much contact to give or whether it is a good idea to initiate a conversation.

 

Take his lead in terms of frequency. And only initiate a conversation when you know you are not going to get upset if he doesn't respond - I suggest waiting until you are much more calm and he's not on your mind so much.

 

Right now, you really need to focus on rebuilding your life.