Love613 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 My story is very long so I will try to make it as short as possible.... My ex and I had been dating for a little over 3 yrs. We've like every relationship had our ups and downs. Throught it all we love each other very much. I have a 3 yr old little boy and he's been with me since he was born. He took me with a newborn and I appreciate all the things he's done for us in the past 3 yrs. Theirs one problem that literally makes me mad... The fact that he is such a mamas boy. Im not against a man having love for his mother but I believe theirs boundaries. He bought a home a little bit ago and everything that has to do with his home he asks his mother. What color walls he should do to furniture. It doesn't bother me that he asks his mom but I feel like he needs her approval for everything. He had promised me he'd take me to go search for furniture with him and he left me hanging... He never picked me up and to find out he was at the furniture place wis his mother looking at furniture really really hurt me because I strongly believe that if he wanted something serious with me he would of rather taken me and done it together like the couple that we were. His mom still washes his clothes and she makes nasty comments in front of me and she makes me feel bad. This was the cause of the breakup. Because I exploded on him and told him that it's been 3 yrs that we have spent together for him not to include me in his life plans... Even if it includes just picking out furniture, that meant a lot to me for him to just leave me hanging. I believ he needs to have his mothers approval for everything he does and that if he wanted something serious with me then to try to include me in his life plans. I hope I'm not sounding selfish and I really am not trying to seperate the bond they both might have but what about me? He broke up with me because he said he couldn't be with a woman who didn't approve of his relationship with his mother. I never disapproved of their relationship. I just simply want him to show me that he wants something more than just a bf gf relationship. Even if it means helping him chose a color for his home... Or shopping together for furniture. All those things meant a lot to me and he took all that as I was talking bad about his mom. I'm seriously confused and now it's been a week. He texted me a couple days ago saying sorry for not standing up for me in front of his mom and for all the bad things he might of done. He truly is a great man just that I believe that since his mother does everything for him he probably feels like he doesn't have to commit to me because he has her to wash his clothes and cook for him. It really bothers me an I need advice. Should I just completely cut him off and see if maybe he opens his eyes and sees that I really never meant to talk bad about her just that after 3 yrs I want some kind of commitment. Please help me. I love this Man and I don't want to loose him over a misunderstanding. But I can't also stick around if I will never be anything more than just a girlfriend.
pteromom Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 But I can't also stick around if I will never be anything more than just a girlfriend. So mother issues aside, what does HE say about this? Does he want to deepen your relationship? If not, you are wishing in vain. As far as his mother, you cannot control what he does. If he loves his mother and respects her opinion, you should respect his choice to include her in his life choices. What you should be focusing on isn't what HE chooses to do, but on what YOU need in the relationship. What hurts isn't the inclusion of his mother - it's the exclusion of YOU. So if he is open to talking about getting back together, this is what you need to focus on. You want to feel included. You want to feel important in his life. You want to feel like your opinions are valued and wanted. Making it about his mother just puts a wedge between you. 1
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