Nc SUCCESS stories!

[livelife]

When you thought all hope was gone, you decided nc was best and you decided you needed to move on. I want to hear the success stories of nc

[2muchlove]

I second that motion. I'm on day 3 NC.

[livelife]

I second that motion. I'm on day 3 NC.

 

I'm just now starting it, and it's KILLING me. I can't stop crying. I'm trying to be there for him but he won't let me, so I have to give him space.

[Chi townD]

Ummm...okay. I went NC years and years ago. Never heard from her again. I got married and been happy every since?.... not sure what you're looking for here.

[SeventhFloor]

I have gone NC with every single girlfriend I've ever had.

 

They have ALL come back with regret. NC is the cure-all. Not for your relationship: FOR YOURSELF.

 

By the time they came back, my reply was always, "Sorry. I'm way past over you. Peace out."

[livelife]

Ummm...okay. I went NC years and years ago. Never heard from her again. I got married and been happy every since?.... not sure what you're looking for here.

 

NC regarding hearing from the ex.

[2muchlove]

Ummm...okay. I went NC years and years ago. Never heard from her again. I got married and been happy every since?.... not sure what you're looking for here.

 

I think we're looking for any NC story that ended up successful. But mainly the ones that resulted in your ex reconciling with you and working out better.

[2muchlove]

I have gone NC with every single girlfriend I've ever had.

 

They have ALL come back with regret. NC is the cure-all. Not for your relationship: FOR YOURSELF.

 

By the time they came back, my reply was always, "Sorry. I'm way past over you. Peace out."

 

I look forward to the day I get to do just that.

[Chi townD]

I think we're looking for any NC story that ended up successful. But mainly the ones that resulted in your ex reconciling with you and working out better.

 

LOL!! the way I look at it mine WAS successful!

[SeventhFloor]

LOL!! the way I look at it mine WAS successful!

 

Agreed. And mine too. It's very successful when every girlfriend you've ever had comes back saying, "I regret breaking up with you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. No relationship has ever been like ours. Will you give me another chance?"

 

When your reply is, "Nope. Had your chance. I'm with someone better."

 

GREAT SUCCESS!!

[k100danny]

NC isn't a method it's a way of healing. Sucess is that you regain your composure and start to feel happy again. If you are using it as a way to get your ex back then i don't buy into that theory at all. I've gone NC and heard from ex's before i have contacted them but in my opinion the damage is done.

 

I think a lot of people who are using NC are hoping for their ex to come back as they have read somewhere it increases the chance, I have been in this position and read things like this and also read if you do want them back let them go, move on (dont pretend to move on to trick them into contacting you) actually move on, if they come back then cross that bridge when you come to it, if not you are closer to healing and being able to embark on a new healthy relationship.

[livelife]

Agreed. And mine too. It's very successful when every girlfriend you've ever had comes back saying, "I regret breaking up with you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. No relationship has ever been like ours. Will you give me another chance?"

 

When your reply is, "Nope. Had your chance. I'm with someone better."

 

GREAT SUCCESS!!

 

Well what if you were the one that broke up with them, tried to take it back but now they need space. How long did it take for them to realize that?

[2muchlove]

Well what if you were the one that broke up with them, tried to take it back but now they need space. How long did it take for them to realize that?

 

That's what I'm in the process of figuring out my friend. I'm an optimist but unfortunately I feel like the chances get slimmer in our case. She got the GIGS from me.

[2muchlove]

LOL!! the way I look at it mine WAS successful!

 

Haha, I actually meant to imply that yours was a success story. And I'm hapy to hear that.

 

NC isn't a method it's a way of healing. Sucess is that you regain your composure and start to feel happy again. If you are using it as a way to get your ex back then i don't buy into that theory at all. I've gone NC and heard from ex's before i have contacted them but in my opinion the damage is done.

 

I think a lot of people who are using NC are hoping for their ex to come back as they have read somewhere it increases the chance, I have been in this position and read things like this and also read if you do want them back let them go, move on (dont pretend to move on to trick them into contacting you) actually move on, if they come back then cross that bridge when you come to it, if not you are closer to healing and being able to embark on a new healthy relationship.

 

I may have a slight ulterior motive for NC but I'm in the process of giving myself the respect of doing it for the right reasons. I just need to figure out how to give myself no hope. Because right now I have a very small slice of it that I cant seem to ditch.

[Chi townD]

Okay, I copied my story from another thread, maybe this is kind what you're looking for. Or maybe not. You can judge for yourself.

 

I was with this girl many, many years ago and I was supposed to marry her. Well, I caught her cheating on me. She turned on me like venom. She told me that I was a loser and I had no goals in life. That I was never going to college and I was just going to be stuck working dead end jobs for the rest of my life. She was going with someone that had goals in life. Like, cheating on me wasn't enough, she had to lay that crap on me.

 

So, I was in a major depression. And one friday afternoon, a friend of mine literally kidnapped me. He threw me on a train with him and a couple of hours later, we were in St. Louis. We checked into the Sheridan and we just explored St. Louis. Went to a baseball game and at night we checked out the club scene. I even danced with a few girls. And then it hit me. There's a world out HERE and my world wasn't her. And I was determined to prove her wrong.

 

After that weekend, I got motivated. I did get into college and a LOT of it. I found I enjoyed the challenge of it. I started my career after college and became successful in my field. All the while, I got the bug for travel and to see the world. white water rafting in West Virginia, dog sledding in Minnesota. France, England, Ireland, Spain, Germany, Japan, Brazil, Morocco, South Korea, Bahamas, Jamaica, Cuba.....just to name a few....I've been to them all. I've met some really interesting people along the way. Including my wife who've I've been happily married to for several years now and thank GOD she understands my need for travel. My life is pretty good right now.

My self improvements were to prove her wrong, but about a year later, it became about me. I was doing the work, I was the one studying until 1:30 in the morning, it was about me dedicating myself to my goals because, in the end, she wasn't going to be the one benefiting from my hard work. So, she became an after thought.

 

She never came back to me or even sought me out. I did hear that she ended up marrying the guy she cheat on me with. But, I also heard it was a shotgun wedding. He was in college and had to drop out and get a job because she got pregnant. Last I heard, the guy she left me for that had goals in life was an ambulance driver.

 

About 5 months ago, I had a chance encounter with her. I was on my way driving across the city to get to a meeting. I knew the meeting was going to be INCREDIBLY boring, so I stopped off at a coffee shop (starbucks) to get a Latte to get me through the meeting. As I was getting out of my car, guess who was walking out of the Starbucks? YEP!! The Ex! And dammit if she still didn't look good. I was always hoping that she would have been 300 LBS and wearing a moo moo if I ever saw her again. But, I have to give her credit, she still looked good! I knew it was her because I had to take a double take, and she did the same thing. We didn't say anything to each other. However, she did see me wearing a suit and climbing out of my Lexus and she was climbing into her beat up Jetta!

 

But, again, I should be thanking her in a weird way. After everything she did to me, it got me motivated to start my life.

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]

So, I used my NC as a tool to help me heal, get motivated and a jumpstart on my life. I never used it as a tool to try and get her back. I mean, lets face it. She wanted someone better than me, so why would she what to come back? I took a year to finally let her go and everything became about me (sounds selfish, I know) and my goals. What I felt that was important to me.

So, this is how NC worked for me, and I got my revenge. I try to live a damn good life. It's a life she chose not to be part of and I'm completely okay with that. Because I now have my beautiful and loving wife.

[k100danny]

The way you ditch it is by trying to move on and nc is the only way to let yourself move on. Think of it as wanting to diet, it's easier if someone isn't waving chocolate in your face.

[2muchlove]

So, I used my NC as a tool to help me heal, get motivated and a jumpstart on my life. I never used it as a tool to try and get her back. I mean, lets face it. She wanted someone better than me, so why would she what to come back? I took a year to finally let her go and everything became about me (sounds selfish, I know) and my goals. What I felt that was important to me.

So, this is how NC worked for me, and I got my revenge. I try to live a damn good life. It's a life she chose not to be part of and I'm completely okay with that. Because I now have my beautiful and loving wife.

 

That's actually a really cool story man. Glad to see things are working out for you, it gives me hope. I also wonder what was going through her head as she climbed out of her beat up jetta.

Edited July 11, 2012 by 2muchlove
Forgot to quote.

[Svet74]

The first couple times I did NC was to get my ex back.. and would count the days until we would make contact again. Did that about 2-3 times which were only a month long of NC

 

Then finally i got sick of being sick and decided to go NC to actually move on! Not to try and get him back I gave up.

 

3 months of NC.. and he calls.

Been in contact for a little over a month and I dont plan on going back to NC because I have moved on. Basically whether or not we get back together im ok with that. Im emotionally detached from him so anything he does or says does not hurt me. Maybe along the way il meet someone great. Im keeping my options open. He still has a chance but He needs to fix himself and his life quick, cuz time is running out.

[g450]

Ummm...okay. I went NC years and years ago. Never heard from her again. I got married and been happy every since?.... not sure what you're looking for here.

 

Same thing here. First year was hard. Second year I just started living my life. After 2.5 years Im now remarried to a woman that actually gives a ****. Story over.

 

That is how it most of us end up. In the end you may wind up happier than you were in your previous relationship. You just dont know it yet. As cheezy as the old saying is...everything happens for a reason.

 

If I hear from my X (roughly once a year or so) it's about our grown Son and nothing more. She is basically a stranger to me now. She made sure of that.

 

As Danny said, NC is to heal. If you are like so many on this forum that use NC as a way of playing childish little games with your EX then you are not doing it for the right reasons and you are only sabotaging youself. NC is not about getting back an abusive cheater. It's about you. If you dont understand that then we really cant help you. Sadly, there are many BS here that just dont get that. It's sad. They will probably be on here for years to come posting "heard from my Ex again" type crap. I feel bad for them but eventually it will sink in I guess.

 

Mind you I am not speaking to you pesonally OP, but in general terms.

[Samilia]

I was .. 16 at the time. My first boyfriend of one year decided to break up with me. Without consciously knowing what it was I entered NC immediately. I spent a MISERABLE summer (thanks mom for taking me out so often! ).

 

Anyway, about 6 months later or so, we got back together, he was missing me, and couldn't get enough of me after that.

 

We managed to break up again, but that's another story.

[AlexanderJames]

I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, and I'll probably end up confusing everyone including myself and not even answering the question.

But when does NC become a success? I would say the decision to start NC is the success story in itself. As long as its maintained.

 

Because there has to be a time when NC becomes just a nothingness. It's not "no contact" if you are completely over the ex and theyre completely over you is it? It just becomes no more than an old aqquaintance you dont hear from any more.

 

I mean, I broke up with a girl on new years day 2011. We wen't NC, despite my attempts to actually figure out wtf went wrong. (She cheated on me NYE and just up and left me with the "I need to make myself happy before you can make me happy" line, I didnt find out for weeks what had happened)

We were NC for 6 months before talking again, she said she missed me, we shared memories and all that then kind of drifted apart and went back to NC for no real reason. another 8 or so months go by (about 3 months ago now, 3 months after I left my most recent ex) we got in touch again. She wished me a happy 21st out of nowhere. She had a new BF but again said she missed me. We spoke for a while. Mostly her telling me she will always love me and wished we could go back. Her BF caught wind of this and confronted me, which was brave considering I have 4 years on him and he's about half my size . I showed him the txt's from her and he went and took it up with her, I heard nothing more about them. She went back to NC and we havent spoken since.

 

Would I consider myself in NC with this girl though? Nope, I dont think I've been in NC since about a month before she contacted me the first time. So that there, the time leading up to completely letting go was my success story, because I fought for myself and overcame all the hurt. Everything that happened between then and now has just been.. I dunno... The drama's of having a "social life"?

[DMS]

I came to Loveshack looking for advice on how to get my ex back. One of the first responders to my thread was Chi town D. At the time he gave me blunt advice that I did not really want to hear and we conversed a bit in the thread ( I would link it but I cant do it on my crappy phone. ) I listened though and took the advice. I broke NC twice once to leave a note thanking her for letting me watch the cats we shared while she flew to see her new BF before I moved from Texas back to Florida and once a month later when I found out she was moving to live with him even though she claimed he said not to because he felt they were moving to fast. Since then ( about 6 weeks as of the writing of this ) I have done my best to move on. It is not always easy and sometimes I miss her but I remind myself that it was her choice to go and I have to respect that. That being said, since she left I am in better shape than I was when we met. I also have met alot of new people and am feeling better than i have in a while.

[g450]

Thats exactly how it works DMS. You make new friends, you have a new life and you start to understand that there are benefits to being single again. And many MANY options.

 

Your self esteem goes up and when that happens women notice this, trust me. And that alone opens a whole new world of possibilities for you. You then realize that YOU are in control and YOU can do anything you want to do. You are free. And your cheating X is sulking in her self made prison. Because everyone knows that happiness doesnt come from another person, it comes from within.

[RogerWallace111]

After 5.5 weeks, mines been more and more successful by the day. Back to feeling relatively content being independent, happy to be single, not spending 5% of the time thinking about her as I was... Rediscovering my independent, badass f*cking self. It's definitely been worthwhile and successful, though I am definitely still not fully "healed" or indifferent.

[Appleness]

So after talking to the therapist, she says that my ex has symptoms of classic BPD. After doing some reading on my own, I will definitely count NC as a success if I never hear from him again.