CherryRed27 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I decided I would resubmitt the post I put on here yesterday, it was really hard to read and understand since I was typing on my touch phone, Here it is. Me and my man were together for five months, we had a few arguments due to my sister interfering, we have past conflicts where she slept with my boyfriend. Thats nor here or there, so I was insecure, but we didn't even really fight about that we have never screamed or cursed one another out. It was very cool and collected relationship. I did have doubts in the begging too about being the rebound chick seeming how his kid's mother left him after 10 years on and off, only two weeks before he met me. I didnt know that at the time. I do now. He said it had been two months, I guess he must have been referring to the last time they had sex. Anyway, so i had this feeling that he had been holding back, I thought though he could just really be missing his kids like he said. It had been five months since he saw them last. I felt bad but continued on. I fell deeply in love with the connection we had, how we like to talk and research the same things, how we think simular and have simular views, he was very affectionate, but i became distant due to the lack of sex and how i felt when we did have it. Well, on July first we were in the middle of sex and I cudn't really take it, I broke down, crying, he went in the living room and when he finally came back I asked what was wrong and he said he thinks he should leave. I tried to talk it out but he said he didn't want to hurt me anymore. I cried all night, he held me and told me he loved me and I think he may have shed a tear then too. The next morning his scheduled leave date came slow since I was up crying all night. We talked and talked and cried together, I mean tears were streaming down his face and I was shocked. His ride came and he asked if he could see me the next day and if it was ok to call. I said yes, cuz I never wanted him to go in the first place. He called a couple hours after he left. We laughed and talked again a couple hours after that. He did come over the next day. He kept looking at me telling me he loves me asking if I knew it. I knew he was holding back more. So he told me he was going to Cali to see his son for his b day, on July 4. he confessed he missed his ex, and wasn't sure if the feelings he was feeling were for her or just a mixed in with him missing his children, and having his "Family". He said they didn't have a good relationship, she'd always pick fights with him she wasn't happy with him and she made him unhappy with her etc... I was devasted cause I already knew that he wasn't over this. I feel stupid but I love him sooo much. Then He finally made love to me, which seemed like the first time we ever did. He was tender loving and at ease.... I cried again because he had been holding back for the last 5 months. I gave him some sound advice because I had been in a simular situation with my kids dad. We talked it out, and he said he felt stupid, he said he was going to go see his kids for two weeks and that he'd be back, he said he felt like he was going to lose me. I told him he can't have it all. After he left he called me before bed the eve of his departure and again that morning, we didn't have much to say to each other, we couldn't believe it was happening and all we could say was how much we loved one another. I really don't know what to do. I feel like he was my other half. I feel like a piece of me is gone. I know it had only been 5 months and it started off on really shaky ground but we had a mutal respect and a subtle affection and a great understanding of one anothers heart and mind. The affections were slow but I know it was a lot of love there because I measured it bye how much it hurt to say good bye. It was emense. Somebody please help me. What do I do???
Philosoraptor Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 This is just a mess. He misses the ex, slept with her recently, and slept with your sister? I'm sorry but his "love" for you isn't what yours is, and I doubt it exists at all. He's getting over someone else and you're being hurt because of it. 1
Author CherryRed27 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Sorry I was unclear, no hes not the one who slept with my sister and ex boyfriend did about a few years ago, I am still scared by that, and insecure so I accused him of wanting or liking my sister which is the only fights we had. and no he has not slept with his ex lately either, it was two weeks after she left him that we started talking, but he said they hadn't been intimate in about to months prior to that. Now he's in Cali with her and the kids because he is confused about his feelings of missing his children and doesn't know if hes fully over her or just really missing them. I don't know if he comes back if we can move on from here or is it never going to be the same. Thankyou for your comment I really need some opinions.
CopingGal Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Darling, that man had absolutely NO business getting involved with you after a 10 year marriage and only a teeny bit of time had gone by after the breakup- whether it's 2 weeks or 2 months. This is a hard one, but he's got to make the decision. I can't help wondering if he slept with her in Cali though. I think you 2 need to dial it back a lot and take your time with this relationship.
Author CherryRed27 Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Thank you for the advice gid no one in my family knows how hard this is for me. You are right it we should ease back a bit. Thank you
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