jhall0125 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Hello Everyone and thanks in advance for reading my post. In January I was cheated on by me ex-fiance and after about a month or two I have been attempting to get back out into the dating scene and find someone to fill the "hole" and start over my life. This of course has turned to be easier said than done. I have learned that in my generation I am 26 it is hard to find someone that has morals and maybe due to the fact I was cheated on. I have dated other girls but have not found anyone I particularly cared for except one. There is a girl I went to high school with. I had a crush on her in high school but she had a steady boyfriend the entire time we was in high school so I never pursued a relationship with her. (I am 26 she is 24) Now 6 years later I I ran into her around the same time me and my fiance split up. I made a determination that I was going to attempt to pursue a relationship with her. I did not have her number so I messaged her on facebook and basically asked her for her number and we should go out sometime. She was very nice on the message and informed me that she had a bunch of personal stuff going on but after she got her life in order we could see were things go (This is in the beginning part of february). She is everything I could want in a girl college graduate, has a career, home, goal oriented, and not bad on the eyes as well. Well we have some mutual friends and one day while I was on the phone with one of our friends I was informed that she was in a long relationship prior and got pregnant (i knew she had a kid) and the dad left her high and dry not to be seen again. This of course I believe caused some serious trust issues with her on getting back into the dating scene. We messaged on facebook and kept in somewhat contact and finally I sent her a message basically telling her how I felt about everything trying to get her to open up. She then gave me her new cell phone number and we began to text about once every 1-2 weeks. I persisted trying to get her to go out on a date but she was switching jobs and moving into a new house basically she said she is so busy to have time for me. I let a couple of months pass by and sent her flowers at work out of the blue I thought maybe to show her I was serious. She then text me and was good conversation and she opened up on how she has been hurt so much and just doesn't know if she wants to pursue a relationship with me or stay single and devote time to her son. I left the conversation saying the ball is you "your court". I have kinda wanted her so bad I have put off every other relationship just to see if this is going to pan out but I don't want to put my life on hold forever. She even said in her message I was the only one to ever give her with flowers, it made her feel special and happy, and I was the nicest guy she knew and she knew I would never cheat on her. My question to everyone is: 1) Am I wasting my time? 2) Anything else I can do? 3) Her messages are not consistent everyday. 4) Any comments are welcome and appreciated!!!!
DjinnAgain Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Hello Everyone and thanks in advance for reading my post. In January I was cheated on by me ex-fiance and after about a month or two I have been attempting to get back out into the dating scene and find someone to fill the "hole" and start over my life. This of course has turned to be easier said than done. I have learned that in my generation I am 26 it is hard to find someone that has morals and maybe due to the fact I was cheated on. I have dated other girls but have not found anyone I particularly cared for except one. There is a girl I went to high school with. I had a crush on her in high school but she had a steady boyfriend the entire time we was in high school so I never pursued a relationship with her. (I am 26 she is 24) Now 6 years later I I ran into her around the same time me and my fiance split up. I made a determination that I was going to attempt to pursue a relationship with her. I did not have her number so I messaged her on facebook and basically asked her for her number and we should go out sometime. She was very nice on the message and informed me that she had a bunch of personal stuff going on but after she got her life in order we could see were things go (This is in the beginning part of february). She is everything I could want in a girl college graduate, has a career, home, goal oriented, and not bad on the eyes as well. Well we have some mutual friends and one day while I was on the phone with one of our friends I was informed that she was in a long relationship prior and got pregnant (i knew she had a kid) and the dad left her high and dry not to be seen again. This of course I believe caused some serious trust issues with her on getting back into the dating scene. We messaged on facebook and kept in somewhat contact and finally I sent her a message basically telling her how I felt about everything trying to get her to open up. She then gave me her new cell phone number and we began to text about once every 1-2 weeks. I persisted trying to get her to go out on a date but she was switching jobs and moving into a new house basically she said she is so busy to have time for me. I let a couple of months pass by and sent her flowers at work out of the blue I thought maybe to show her I was serious. She then text me and was good conversation and she opened up on how she has been hurt so much and just doesn't know if she wants to pursue a relationship with me or stay single and devote time to her son. I left the conversation saying the ball is you "your court". I have kinda wanted her so bad I have put off every other relationship just to see if this is going to pan out but I don't want to put my life on hold forever. She even said in her message I was the only one to ever give her with flowers, it made her feel special and happy, and I was the nicest guy she knew and she knew I would never cheat on her. My question to everyone is: 1) Am I wasting my time? 2) Anything else I can do? 3) Her messages are not consistent everyday. 4) Any comments are welcome and appreciated!!!! How old is her child? Young child + work + no father = not much time -- and you want to be darn sure of the person you are going to spend any time with.... Likely in that scenario not to be traditional dating even if she is very into you, even before touching the trust issues
Author jhall0125 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Her child is 1 1/2 years old but she has a bunch of support from her family
g450 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Her child is 1 1/2 years old but she has a bunch of support from her family Thats because they have too. She is their daughter. Once you step into the picture they will expect you to be the support. Do you really want to raise some other fekless doofuses kid? Especially when there are so many girls out there that dont have that baggage? If so, ask yourself why. Not to mention the fact that you will eventually have to deal with the drama of her ex. And before you ask, yes I did exactly that. But if I had to do it over again I would never date a woman with kids ever again. So been there and done that. Just want you to learn from me.
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