KansasChica Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 So, this ex is definitely the hardest to get over for me. It was good most of the time, but I feel that he brought out the worst in my insecurities. First of all, he's too shy or scared to talk to females. He always lets his roommate to all the dirty work. Maybe it's a fear of rejection? We worked because we happened to be friends first and he felt comfortable around me. When we dated, he always said things like "I love you way more than you love me" and "you would never marry me". When he broke up with me, he said that I never put him first (which wasn't true) and like a month ago he said that I had horrible taste in men because I dated him. SO, my question is: can someone so insecure ever change? I feel that it's like he felt the need to break up with me before I broke up with him, but I was never going to do that!
Samilia Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 So, this ex is definitely the hardest to get over for me. It was good most of the time, but I feel that he brought out the worst in my insecurities. First of all, he's too shy or scared to talk to females. He always lets his roommate to all the dirty work. Maybe it's a fear of rejection? We worked because we happened to be friends first and he felt comfortable around me. When we dated, he always said things like "I love you way more than you love me" and "you would never marry me". When he broke up with me, he said that I never put him first (which wasn't true) and like a month ago he said that I had horrible taste in men because I dated him. SO, my question is: can someone so insecure ever change? I feel that it's like he felt the need to break up with me before I broke up with him, but I was never going to do that! Man.. yes.. with lots of appointments at the shrink.. this guy is a .. party pooper.. if I may say... or a life pooper I guess.
troubleshooter Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 1st of all from a personal point of view, if you feel you are dating someone who is of much higher class than you, or is just too good for you because they are hotter. it only makes sense that you do your utmost best to keep them happy so that you don't lose them. It really puzzles me why he would break up with you(you're too hot for me?). 2ndly to answer your question, I think yes at some point he will change and later realise what a huge mistake he made by leaving a girl that loved him, that's if he doesn't already realise it now. and 3rdly our 'loser insecure fellow' could turn out to be quite the player with a 'use her, dump her, and make her feel guilty' strategy...® 1
Author KansasChica Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Yeah, in all honesty I can't tell if he's just a commitment phobe, if he self-sabatoged something good and now regrets it, or if he's just a narcissist. When he broke up with me, he definitely said that the breakup was my fault and blamed me for everything. Even now, six-seven months later, he plays victim a lot.
Samilia Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I think I rather spend an hour in the dumpster than a day with him, it'd take me lots of time to wash his negativity off me.
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